I Shall Live
by Slayer125
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Shall I live, Shall I die? If I moved on would you cry? If I was born just for you It would make sense that you would love me too? Shall I live, Shall I die? If I let go, would you say goodbye? You ask me to stay, to hang on Is our love so very strong? Shall I live should you ask This will be my last task Shall I live? I live for you This last request I shall do. Pamela Brown
How many times have we faced this together? How many times did she face it alone? While I was out doing who knows what with god knows who did she have that blatant look of not terror but the fear of failure. I feel a catch in my heart that is almost painful as the stench of evil permeates my senses. It isn't the evil confronting us but the evil that is within me, the same evil that turned me against her at one time. I don't know if it is a nightmare or just plain loneliness that pushes her into my arms but I breathe in deeply loving the scent of vanilla lingering from an hour long bath. Who would have thought that the woman who had saved the world bathed with bubbles and a rubber duck named duckie.
This is the woman I pushed away from me and after everything I did to her, she is here and in my arms. God I don't know what I ever did to deserve her but I beg and plead that you not let me screw this up. She has fallen asleep and the moonlight drifts in through the curtain which is fluttering lightly with the breeze, tomorrow could be it. I swear that I will die before I let anything happen to her. When I told her that she looked at me with such sorrow "Promise, do not die." I so much wanted to promise that if for no other reason than to ease her burden but I can't give her another reason to hate me.
"I will try, baby."
She broke down in tears knowing that if it is called for, I will sacrifice myself for the greater good. She is the greater good, always has and always will be. When I had turned my back on this damned destiny she kept it tight within her grasp and fought everything in her way, including me. I have the scars to prove it, her destiny "the Chosen One" my destiny to protect her with all my powers. I pull her tighter against me as I remember sitting in the graveyard staring at the gravestone. I had lost my chance, to tell her if nothing else, that I was so sorry for ever hurting her. My mind drifts over all the times she had reached out and I had turned away. There would be no more attempts at reaching out and saving me from my own worst enemy, me.
"Faith, aren't you tired?" Boy is that a loaded question but I am caught in the tousled hair and the tired eyes as she gazes at me with pure admiration. No matter how bad I have treated her, she is there.
"I am just thinking baby, go to sleep." I kiss her forehead lightly, so this is love huh. It is kind of scary.
"We will survive."
She sounds so sure "You think so huh?" My voice cracks a little.
"Yeah because I know you will die for me but I am making a new request." I lift her face up and see a lone tear fall down her cheek. With a harsh breath I kiss that soft cheek.
"What is that, B?" She knows I will do whatever she asks.
"Will you live with me? For me?" Death, always seemed like an easy answer for me, would you die for me? Always…but will you live for me? A harder request I have never had. Will you live? Will I stay with this woman who has given me her heart? Will I live?
And so I shall.