Second Chance: Amends and Acceptance
by Slayer Tash
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters they belong to Joss Whedon, I just like
to enjoy the occasionally.
Spoilers: Up to the premiere of Season 6 Buffy wise.
Letters, four of them sat on the round table at the Magic Box. All addressed in the same handwriting. One for each of them Buffy, Dawn, Willow and Xander, only Dawn recognized the writing. She had been getting letters like this nearly every week for the last 3 years.
“Giles?” Xander said.
“Writing is too neat and not small enough” Buffy says.
“Just open them” Dawn says, “You will soon find out.”
So they do just that. They sit in silence as they read them. Buffy finishes first she is kind of dumbstruck, she reads it over again.
“How dare she!”
Dawn shakes her head knowing what is going to come next.
“She sounds pretty sincere Buff” Xander says placing his letter down.
“Sincere! Faith was never sincere.”
“And you know this how? Did you ever bother to stop and get to know her?” Dawn says.
“We slayed together side by side for months of course I did.”
“Okay then favourite band?” Dawn quizzes her.
“Dawn this is pointless.”
“Cause you don’t know” Dawn smiles victoriously.
“Killing Heidi, pretty new on the scene here but big in Australia.” Comes from behind them.
“Faith!” Dawn runs over and hugs her.
“Hey Kiddo.” She smiles returning the hug “I am also fond of Blink 182 and Jimmy Eat World.”
“I sent you the new cd did you get it?”
“I did thanks Squirt.”
Dawn disentangles herself from the darker slayer.
Buffy gets up “What are you doing here?”
“Yeah your letter says you don’t get paroled for another 2 weeks” Willow says.
“I wrote those two weeks ago…didn’t post them till I actually got here.”
“Could have just hand delivered could have saved yourself a buck” Xander smiles.
“I wasn’t going to come in. I saw Dawn walk in here a few minutes ago and I just had to see her. I didn’t know the rest of you were going to be here.”
“Well now you do so you can get going” Buffy folds her arms across her chest and glares at her.
“Buffy!”
“It’s ok Dawnie. While I am here I may as well say it cause I know a letter isn’t nearly enough but I am sorry. Red and X-Man you guys really opened up to me when I first got here and you didn’t deserve what I did to you. Dawnie you are like the little sister I never had, always sticking up for me writing to me. You helped me get sane kiddo. B I am sorry for everything I did to you as well, your letter was the hardest to write. There is something else in your envelope. I know it won't make up for any of the things I did but I hope it helps you out.”
“Finished?” Buffy asked.
“Pretty much yeah.”
“How long are you going to be here?” Dawn asks.
“Not sure. I have a few things I need to sort out with The Bosses estate.”
“Can I visit you?”
“NO!” Buffy says.
“Better listen to big sis” Faith says pulling Dawn in for another hug “I will be at my old apartment.” She whispers before pulling away and leaving the Magic Box.
“I can’t believe her” Buffy says turning back to her friends.
“That took guts” Xander said.
Buffy laughed “Please she is crazy she would do anything.”
“How dare you talk about her like that when you don’t even know her” Dawn yelled at her sister.
“Excuse me? You have the memories of what she did to us when she was here last time.”
“What she did to you. I saw what she did to you but she was crying out for help only you were too self involved to see it.”
“Self involved oh please.”
“It was always oh poor me look at what I have to do, why can’t I be a normal teenager. You weren’t the only one trying to deal with that responsibility Buffy.”
“Dawn I do not have time for this.”
“No you never do. Was that epiphany you had when Willow almost killed us all bullshit?”
“Dawn don’t cuss.”
Dawn looks to Xander and Willow for support.
“She has a point Buffy” Willow says.
“Will!”
“Look you know me very anti Faith. I still vividly remember the day she held a knife to my neck but I think I sort of know what she was going through. She felt like she had nothing so why bother. The reason I had for living was taken away and all I wanted to do was make other people feel that same pain. It felt so fair and reasonable. I am not saying lets get her back in here she is my new best friend I just think we should try and understand her this time around.”
“I tried last time.”
“Did you or did you just give her a week and saw when she wasn’t going to be at your beck and call she was expendable to you” Dawn said.
“Where is all this anger coming from Dawn?”
“Everyone that comes into our life ends up leaving. I loved them all especially Faith. She was the only one who didn’t treat me like I was a pain in the ass. She talked to me she hung out with me, she did what you my ‘sister’ never had the time to do.”
Dawn gets up and walks out of the Magic Box.
“Wow she sure has a big case of Buffy Rage going on there” Xander says.
“What do you think Xander, are you going to tell me I should go easy on her.”
“That isn’t up to me, you are entitled to your own thoughts and feelings.”
“That’s a change” Buffy said sarcastically.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you normally can’t wait to pass judgment on me.”
“Buff I think you need to calm down. I am sure you don’t want to piss off everyone you know.”
Xander leaves as well and Willow makes herself look busy with some stock on shelves near by (She is just trying to avoid the wrath of Buffy after her comment earlier!). Buffy takes a seat and looks into the envelope. She pulls out some official looking papers.
“Deeds to the house.” She says reading out loud “In my name.” She frowns but keeps reading.
After a few minutes of silence she calls Willow over for her help.
“Will do these look legitimate to you?” She hands the red head the papers.
She studies them “The deeds to Revello Drive in your name and a multi million dollar trust fund for both of you!”
“Will?”
“They look real alright, I mean if you want clarification I can get my Dad to look over them but Buffy these are real.”
“How did she do this? How did she get my signature to obtain all this?”
“Ask her.”
Buffy just shrugs, her head hurting “I think I need to pummel things.” She gets up and walks out into the training room.
Faith had just finished putting the last of her clothes away when she heard a knock on her door. She smiled knowing that Dawn would have snuck out of the house as soon as Buffy had left for patrol that evening.
She swung the door open and was even more surprised to see Willow there.
“Red!”
“Not expecting me.”
“No Dawn, I thought Dawn might have come over.”
“I am sure she wants to but Buffy has her on 24 hour surveillance right now.”
Faith smiles at the red head.
“Uh can I come in?”
“Oh sure sorry” Faith stands aside and lets Willow in. Gently closing the door behind her “Can I get you anything a soda or some corn chips?”
Willow shakes her head “Can I sit?”
“Go for it.” She says signaling to the couch.
“What you did for Buffy, it must have been a lot of work.”
“Not really.”
“You wanna tell me what happened where the money came from?”
She sits across from Willow “I got an envelope 5 days ago. It basically said I was sole heir to Wilkins’ estate and that I had to call this guy the day I was released. So 4 days ago they set me free and I call him. He was the lawyer and he said I had to come to SunnyD to sign some papers. I hop on the first bus I can and at 10am the next day I became pretty much filthy rich.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah wow. I don’t want his money. I talked to the lawyer about helping B out cause Dawn has been writing to me since the day I was convicted. I knew all about Joyce and the money troubles. I thought doing this might just repair some of the damage I have caused.”
“How did you do it?”
“Asked the lawyer, he was like be back at three and it will all be sorted out. I came back and it was.”
“Is that the only reason you came back here?”
“Yeah Red it was.”
“Why didn’t you send the letters till you got here?”
“I was scared to. Then after seeing the lawyer and spending a couple of days here I figured I had nothing else to lose. I knew I couldn’t just turn up and hand Buffy the papers. So putting them in with her letter killed two birds with one stone.”
“Well then why come to the Magic Box, I am sure Dawn would have told you about that.”
“She did but like I said I didn’t think you guys would be there. I thought B and Xander would have been at work and after what happened with you the last place you would be was a magic shop.”
“What do you mean what happened with me?”
“Going all postal after your honey got killed.”
“You know about that?”
“Yeah like I said before Dawn wrote to me every week when I was inside.”
“Did you write back?”
“Yeah, didn’t have much to say though.”
“You always had a story to tell.”
“Yeah I know but these weren’t the kind you tell to a 16 year old. Dear Dawn, well another day another beating. They seem to think cause I don’t show the battle wounds I love getting the shit kicked out of me…damn slayer healing.”
“Faith I am sorry.”
“Why? You weren’t the one pounding my head against a brick wall. I got everything I deserved.”
“Faith nobody deserves that.”
“It was no biggie red, just like a 3 year holiday with the family.”
Willow studies Faith’s face.
“Sorry Red, didn’t mean to get all sentimental on you. You sure I can’t get you a drink?”
“I am sure. What are you going to do now?”
“I dunno really, I know B won't want me here but this was the only place where it felt like home for me…you know what I mean.”
“Cause of the Mayor?”
“No, you guys…when I first got here I felt I really belonged.”
“What changed?”
“Fuck knows. B and I were getting on like a house on fire then Soul Boy shows up and things sort of went down hill from there.”
“Does Buffy know you love her?”
Faith looks directly at the witch “I think the word you are looking for is loved.”
“Are you telling me you no longer love her?”
“I am. Being ignored for 3 years will kind of kill any crush.” She smiles.
They sit silently for a few minutes.
“Faith I did come here to say something.”
“Shoot.”
“I know back in the day I wasn’t exactly your biggest fan. Things have changed though, I killed and I think I might have some idea of how you felt. Things have never been bad for me as bad as they were for you but I think I understand why you did what you did and to hold any type of grudge against you would be hypocritical of me.”
“Thanks Red.”
“I would like to think we might be able to try again.”
“Won't Queen B be a little upset with that.”
“She isn’t the boss of me Faith.”
“I guess not.”
“So what do you say?”
“One day at a time Red, but yeah I would like that.” She smiles.
“You are all crazy” Buffy said to Dawn as they wandered through Restfield on patrol.
“Why?”
“None of you see that it is a ploy, as soon as we are all complacent bam she will hit us good and proper.”
“Who will?”
“Faith!”
“I think you are the one that is crazy Buffy.”
“Dawn I know her, I have fought her.”
“You know nothing Buffy.”
Buffy was ready to argue but was interrupted by a group of three vamps.
“What do we have here.” The leader said stepping right up into Buffy’s face “The slayer and her sister the key.”
“If you know who we are you know that we aren’t a force to be messed with.”
He smiled at the blonde slayer “I love it when little chicks talk tough, it makes the killing so much more fun.”
“Do you know how many times a night I hear that, you are no different to any other vamp I have faced.”
He grabs her arm and begins to squeeze it “That is where you are wrong little one. If I wasn’t any different I think I would have been dead by now.”
The pressure he puts on her arm causes her bones to snap and drop her stake not to mention a string of expletives “Oh you fucking dirty mother fucker of a vamp.” She head butts him square in the nose causing him to stumble backwards momentarily.
He grins and licks the blood that has trickled from his nose “You want to dance slayer?”
He drops to the ground and sweeps her legs out from under her she lands with a heavy thud cause even more pain to shoot up the broken arm.
In an instant she has flipped herself back up "The only thing you are doing is pissing me off more you dumb stupid cu-" She stops as he bursts into a pile of dust from a crossbow bolt that had just flown right past her left ear.
“Language B, you know Dawn is at an impressionable age right now.”
Two more bolts from the crossbow and the lackeys are dust as well.
“What was with the banter B?”
Buffy ignored her.
“Oh that’s right I forgot how much you dig the undead.”
“Shut up Faith you have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Don’t I?”
She turns and faces her adversary “Always so sure of yourself aren’t you.”
“You have to be confident in this line of work B, you kind of end up dead if you aren’t.”
From out of nowhere a vamp that had been hiding in a tree jumps down onto Buffy and begins to hit the blonde with a barrage of left and right hooks.
As Faith takes aim she is hit from behind, as she falls forward she looses her crossbow.
“Dawn keep out of the way.” She says getting back up and taking out the vamp that hit her from behind without even looking. She runs over to Buffy and rams the stake through the vamps back dusting him instantly.
“Wow, when did you…that was” Dawn came over.
“Had some time to spare.” She smiles.
“Buffy?” Dawn says kneeling beside her sister “Buffy?”
The blonde slayer doesn’t responds she lays silently on the ground in front of them.
“Fuck…D you know how to drive?”
“Kind of, why?”
“We need to get her to a hospital. You can’t carry her so I will need you to drive my car.”
Faith tosses Dawn a set of keys and gently picks up Buffy.
“Hold on B, help is on the way.”
Faith and Dawn are sitting in the ER.
“Any news?” Willow asks sitting beside them.
“Not yet” Dawn gets up and begins pacing “I hate it here.”
“Want me to take you home?” Faith asks.
“Not until I know Buffy is going to be okay.”
“What happened?” Willow asks.
“Three vamps, head one got a bit cocky. Broke Buffy’s arm then knocked her down. Faith shows up and dusts all 3. Buffy gets a little pissed and starts going off her at her and two vamps jump out over head from a tree. Faith kicks some ass without even blinking and Buffy got knocked out I guess” Dawn says in one breath.
“I think I might grab a coffee you guys want?” Faith asks.
They both shake their heads and watch as Faith heads off in search of a java hit.
“Don’t yell at me when you hear what I say but Faith didn’t have anything to do with it did she?”
“No, lucky for her she turned up cause Buffy was completely out of her depth. She totally got caught up in a banter battle with him.”
“You think maybe seeing Faith today had her preoccupied?”
“Of course it did. She is so pissed off and I know why. She is in denial about how she feels for her.”
“What do you mean?”
“I read her diary…When she died I came across them in her room one night when I couldn’t sleep. She is in love with Faith.”
“That was years ago.”
“Nope she mentions her in her last entry. She knew that she would most probably going to die fighting Glory and she said she wished that she had told Faith exactly how she felt. She said that she loved Faith more than Riley and Angel put together. She said she would go to her grave loving her.”
“Dawnie are you sure?”
“Swear on Mom’s grave.”
“I think they are both in a great deal of denial.”
“What Faith feel’s the same way?”
“I stopped by her place earlier. I asked her if she still loved her cause sh-”
“Hang on how did you know she was in love with her?”
“I sort of twigged when she told me things with her and Buffy went downhill after Angel came back from hell.”
“So you think they have it bad for each other and both are too stubborn to admit it?”
“This is Buffy we are talking about. If there was an explanation of Buffy in the dictionary the first word would be stubborn followed closely by pig headed.”
Dawn laughed.
They spent the whole night in the waiting room, Dawn resting on Faith’s lap sleeping that was how Buffy found them.
“Hey B, you are okay” Faith said as she approached them.
“Peachy keen no thanks to you.”
“Excuse me?”
“Those vamps were dust, I didn’t need you coming along fucking things up.”
Dawn sat up hearing her sister’s enraged voice.
“Yeah sure looked like it B. Nice cast.”
“Screw you F.”
“Don’t go there B…I am not undead so you can’t” Faith turns on her heel and walks out of the hospital with the biggest grin on her face. She loved getting the last word in with her and one so nasty made it so much better. The smile soon faded though. Faith was so mad that after sitting up all night to make sure Buffy was okay she still got treated like shit. She knew she had fucked up and she expected to pay for it. Hell she spent three years in jail paying for it and she was not going to let some uptight little pastel priss fuck it up for her.
She didn’t own Sunnydale and she had no say in what Faith could and couldn’t do. If Buffy didn’t like it then it was her problem not Faith’s.
Weeks passed and the slayers steered clear of each other. Willow had continued to get to know Faith a little more and Dawn was hanging out with her as much as possible. Pissing Buffy off even more.
They had learned that Faith was actually a super brain, could match it with Willow even. She had obtained her High School equivalency while in prison and had become a qualified instructor in Tai Chi, Tae Kwon Do and Jujitsu. She was currently in the middle of deciding what to do with a piece of real estate, which was now hers, located in central Sunnydale.
Willow thought maybe teaching self-defence classes would be a good idea.
Faith also wanted to put her skills into practice and was warming to Willow’s idea. She had taken them with her to check out the building.
“I still can’t believe they taught deadly fighting moves to people in prison” Dawn said as they wandered around.
“Beat sitting around in my cell all day feeling sorry for myself.”
“Didn’t you all ready know how to kick ass?”
“Yeah but I can’t really teach a class and say okay punch in the face, kick him in the balls and ram the stake through the heart.”
“I guess not.”
Faith stood in the middle the building “So what do you think? I could make this into a dojo. Use it as my own training place as well. That way I won't have to worry about running into Buffy over at the Magic Box.”
Willow and Dawn looked at each other and rolled their eyes.
“Faith when are you going to admit to your feelings.”
“About this place…I think if we knock this wall out get the floors redone. Put mirrors along that wall and have the side room as we walk in made into an office we will be ready for business. I am gonna call X-Man tonight see if he can come in and do a quote for me. I might even have to go to L.A for a few days to get some equipment. Apart from that I don’t feel too bad about it at all.”
“Buffy not the building.”
“What do you mean Squirt?”
“Oh come on it is obvious that you have a thing for her.”
“I am going to tell you what I told Willow. There was a time when I loved Buffy yeah but things have changed. I have grown up and moved on. I don’t love your sister anymore.”
“Yeah right.”
“Dawn please I have other things I need to worry about. You believe what you want to believe I will get on with the rest of my life.”
Faith walked over to where she wanted to place the office just to check out a few things. Dawn looked at Willow.
“Oh yeah she wants her. Buffy has it just as bad.” She smiles and they both follow the same path as Faith.
They hadn’t seen Buffy standing in the doorway she had come to pick up Dawn. She had heard the whole conversation. Frowning she stayed and thought about Dawn’s comments for a moment about how awful she had been to Faith since she arrived back in Sunnydale a tear slid down her cheek.
“I love Faith.” She said softly.
“So road trip to L.A who is on board?” Faith asked that afternoon in the Magic Box.
“I am” Dawn said excitedly.
“What about Buffy?”
“What about her. I am 16 and I can look after myself.”
Faith looks to Willow for support.
“Don’t look at me, you asked!” She smiled.
“Willow if you came Buffy will let me go for sure.”
“I can’t leave the store Dawn.”
“It is just for the weekend right?” Dawn said.
“It is Red, it will be fun. We can visit Angel and make fun of Wesley.”
“Saturday and Sunday are two of our best days.”
“Will whatever you will lose in revenue I will pay you for it. Come on you guys never go away.”
“It sounds like fun Will, no apparent big bad quiet on the vamp front. You, me and the youngun’s” Xander smiled.
“Am I invited” Buffy came in from the training room.
“What about patrol?” Willow asked.
“No apparent big bad quiet on the vamp front. I could use a little break from Sunnyhell.”
Dawn smiled at Buffy’s use of Faith’s nickname of the town.
“Sure B, the more the merrier. Angel is expecting us tomorrow night.”
“Great. Well Dawnie and I will meet you guys here just after 3?”
“Will?” They all looked at the red head.
“Oh alright…Faith you don’t have to pay me for anything.”
“Alright a Scoobies road trip” Dawn said jumping up and down.
“I hope you realize that this girl will not sleep tonight now Faith.”
“You didn’t have to say yes” Faith said getting up from the table. “You gonna blame me every thing that goes wrong?”
“Faith I didn’t mean it that way.”
“Sure you didn’t. If I am not needed anymore I have business to attend to.” She looked around then left.
“What the fuck was that about?” Buffy asked.
“Can you blame her, you have been a grade A bitch to her since the day she got back. How else do you expect her to react?” Willow said.
“Have I really been that bad.”
“You put Cordelia to shame Buff” Xander said.
“Well that is gonna change. I haven’t been fair to Faith. She has done her time and has more than made up for what she did in the past. None of us are perfect so I shouldn’t judge her like we are.”
“When did you wake up and smell the common sense?” Xander asked.
“I just did okay.”
“Yeah well I think there is one more person who needs to hear that Buffy.”
She nodded and went off to try and catch the younger slayer.
“How did it go?” Willow asked as Buffy got home that evening after patrol.
“It didn’t. I couldn’t find her anywhere. I even went to her cemeteries and the Bronze.”
“You think something is wrong?”
“No idea.”
Dawn bounded down the stairs cordless in hand “Faith is on the phone she wants to know if we are all going with her or are we taking two cars.”
Buffy grabbed the phone “You are okay?”
“Of course I am” Faith answered.
“Thank god.”
“Why what happened?”
“Nothing, I went looking for you after you left and I couldn’t find you.”
“You came looking for me?”
Buffy ran upstairs and shut herself in her room “Yeah I did.”
“Why what did I do?”
“Nothing Faith. What I said about Dawn not sleeping was meant as a joke.”
“Oh…you don’t normally joke with me.”
“I don’t?”
“Nope big fat zero on any type of communication unless it is to have a go at me.”
“You hold your own.”
“Natural reaction with me. Sorry.”
“So am I.”
“No biggie B, I wasn’t expecting open arms from you.”
Buffy was silent.
“So B, we all in my car?”
“Will we fit?”
“In the beamer yeah. It seats 5…just hope you lot don’t mess up the leather.”
“Hang on did you say beamer… as in BMW?”
“Yeah.”
“New?”
“Yep 318i.”
“I thought you said you didn’t want his money.”
“I needed a car and technically I got rid of 40g’s.”
Buffy laughed.
“Okay I gotta bail, I still have to patrol and pack.”
“Alright we will be there just after 3.”
“Xander called earlier and he will be there around half three. I just have to talk Red into closing earlier so we can be on the road by 4.”
“Leave that to me. I can pull out the big best friend moves.”
“Fantastic. Tell Dawn to leave her crappy boy band cd’s at home too. The beamer is programmed to crash at the sound of any little prepubescent boy trying to sing about love.”
“Check no boy band’s. Anything else?”
“You and Red better bring your clubbin’ shoes.”
"Okay got it."
“Later.” The line went dead.
Buffy fell back on her bed with the biggest shit-eating grin the world had ever seen.
The Scoobies plus Faith arrived at the Hyperion a little after 8 that night greeted by a more than eager Fred.
Faith was the first to get the treatment. For a small girl she could sure constrict airways.
“Uh Fred…need air. Not like I am Angel.”
“Oh sorry.” She pulled back smiling "How was the trip? Did you open up the Beamer on the open highway-"
“Chill Fred… I see you haven’t tried my relaxation exercises.”
Fred laughed. Then Faith did the obligatory introductions.
“Where is Broodman?” Faith said looking around the office.
“He and Wes got called out to meet a prospective client, they should be back later.”
“And your honey?”
“Getting dinner.”
“Cool so can we grab any room we want?”
“Second floor has just been cleaned up for you guys. Knock yourselves out…not literally though.”
Faith led them all up and they dispersed into rooms.
Dawn put her stuff down but was in Willow’s room in an instant.
“Did you see them?” She said excitedly.
“I did Dawnie…flirt central. I thought Xander was gonna die from some of the things they were saying.”
“Faith was quiet for the last bit of the trip though.”
“Faith quiet there is a new concept” Willow smiled.
“She and Fred are close as well…didn’t expect that.”
“She told me they talked all the time. Angel told Fred about Faith when they were in Pylea together. When they brought Fred back she wanted to visit Faith. Angel took her and apparently they got along from day one.”
“How do you know all this?”
“We talk.”
“Faith and Willow talking another new concept. When did hell freeze over?”
“Funny Dawnie, real funny.”
“So you wanna check this place out?”
“Lead the way.”
“Faith told me that Angel had a wicked city view from the rooftop. I wanna check it out. It has been years since I have seen the LA skyline.”
Dawn led Willow up and down hallways searching for the stairs. When they eventually made it the sun had set and the twinkling of lights in the distance could be seen.
The two stood watching it silently.
“You know this is really my first time seeing this” Dawn said.
“What do you mean, you said before it had been years.”
“Those weren’t my memories…they were the ones put in by the monks.”
Willow silently cursed herself for not clicking on sooner.
“It is amazing though. Nothing like coming home” Buffy said from behind them.
“What is the plan for tonight?”
“No idea. Xander is down talking with Fred and Faith either wasn’t answering her door or not in her room when I stopped on my way up.”
“Do you think we could swing by the old neighbourhood?” Dawn asked.
“Sure…I called Dad’s office to see if he could slot us in.”
“And?”
“His secretary will get back to us.”
“I bet she will” Dawn said, “I feel like marching into his office and breaking down his door and telling him exactly how it is.”
“I know what you mean” Buffy said.
“Well let’s do it” Faith said joining the threesome on the roof.
“Hey, where were you before?” Buffy asked.
“Shower.”
Buffy noticed her damp hair and the fresh smell coming from her.
“So what are the plans for tonight?” Willow asked.
“Sleep” Faith said.
“Weren’t you the one that told us to bring our dancing shoes.”
“I was but I am kind of wiped after this week. I am gonna hit the sack. B here are my keys if you guys need to go anywhere.”
“Faith are you okay?”
“Five by five…just need sleep.”
She disappeared through the stair access door.
“Okay she has done a complete 180 in the last 2 hours.”
“You noticed that too huh?” Willow said to her best friend.
“Maybe she just needs Faith time.”
“She just had three years of Faith time.”
“Yeah so having to share all that time with people all of a sudden may be a little funny to her right now” Dawn says.
“I guess. I just thought we were really getting somewhere.”
“Buffy you have been semi friends again for like 8 hours. It doesn’t happen over night.”
“But I want it to.” The blonde pouted.
Buffy handed control of the beamer over to Willow for the night. She, Xander and Dawn were going to be touristy and take in the sights of Hollywood. Buffy had made a lame excuse of staying to talk to Angel.
When Angel wasn’t back by 1.30 she headed upstairs determined to talk to Faith.
She gently opened the door noticing that the dark slayer was sitting up looking out her window not sleeping like she had planned.
"You busy?" Buffy said softly.
“Flat out” Faith said listlessly not taking her eyes away from whatever it was she was looking at outside.
Buffy moved in and sat on the bed.
“Everything okay Faith? We seemed to be getting on really well then you kinda do a back flip on us.”
“What do you want from me Buffy?” She stared hard at the blonde girl on her bed.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean do you just want me to forget the last 5 weeks in the space of 6 hours?”
“Again I say what do you mean?”
“When I turned up the last thing I expected was for you to be understanding and accepting of me. I didn’t expect Red, Xander and Dawn to welcome me back with open arms but they did. I also never expected to be ridiculed and put down by you. It just isn’t the Buffy Summers way. To hear you use some of the words you did and have them aimed at me, especially when you thought I wasn’t listening hurt me. Never thought words could hurt me but they did. Then all of a sudden here I am laughing and joking with you like nothing happened. I can’t let myself accept that.”
“Why not Faith?”
“Because I can’t Buffy” Faith got up from her position by the window and moved closer to the bed. “You said some pretty awful things about me when you don’t even know the first thing about me.”
“I know your favourite bands.” She said trying to lighten the mood.
“Don’t Buffy. I am trying to be straight with you here. Yeah I fucked up and yeah I did some awful things nothing I say or do can change it or make up for it. I could explain to you why I did it but I am not ready for that to be thrown in my face. I have apologized and I tried to show you that I had changed and you didn’t want a bar of it. Then all of a sudden you want to be best buds no talking no reasoning just let's forget the last 5 years of bullshit and pain and fucking each other over. Let’s just forget that you never bothered to get to know me that you thought I was some two-bit whore who was never good enough for you or your perfect little suburbia lifestyle. Let’s just forget the whole fucking thing because we don’t actually deal in the world of Buffy fucking Summers.”
Buffy stood up and faced the younger slayer “Yeah I made some mistakes. Big fucking deal we all do we all have. I just want to move on.”
“You are pretty good at that B.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly what I said. You are good at forgetting things and people and just moving on. You have people in your life that would do anything for you. People that put their lives on the line, that go out into battle for you every single day. You have people that no matter how hard they fucking try not to, still love you regardless of the way you treat them.” Faith has tears streaming down her face “I loved you and you couldn’t give me the time of day. I did everything I could to try and get your attention to show you how I felt and each and every time it was thrown back in my face. I can’t do that again B. I just can't. I can’t love you anymore because it is killing me inside and I really don’t think that you are worth dying for.”
Tears fall down both faces now. Buffy is silent trying to process all the information that has just been yelled at her.
“I just can’t” Faith says in a broken voice “It is too hard.”
She heads over to her door and walks out. Leaving Buffy sobbing in the middle of her room. She heads downstairs not noticing Willow who had heard the whole exchange on her way back to her room for the night. She just keeps going out the front door of the Hyperion and into the darkened street. Not having any idea of where she was going just knowing the further away she was from Buffy right now the better she would be.
“Any news?” Angel said walking out of his office.
“Nope. Her cell is sitting by her bed and Willow had the car.”
“Did she have any money on her?”
“No idea” Buffy says quietly “Another thing I can add to the list of things I don’t know about her.”
“Buffy why won’t you tell me what happened?”
“I did. We had a fight and she left.”
“What did you say to her?”
“Nothing, she said it all to me. Me not saying anything was probably the problem.”
“I can’t find her on cryptic Buffy.”
“Yeah well what she said to me isn’t going to help find her.”
“It might help if I know what state of mind she is in.”
“Who is in?” Faith waltzed into the Hyperion.
“You as a matter of fact” Angel said.
“I am five by five soul boy.”
“Yeah well according to Buffy and Willow you were anything but that this morning.”
“What can I say things change…they seem to change around here within a matter of hours don’t they B?”
“Faith” Buffy says hoping she wasn’t going to let it all out in the open in front of Angel.
“What B?”
“Can’t you and I talk about this alone?”
“I said everything I had to say earlier.”
“Oh well that is fair isn’t it. You get to have the big heart and soul talk but you won't let me respond?”
“Like I said B. I can’t do it. Not anymore.”
“You are such a fucking hypocrite Faith. You said I didn’t give you a chance now here you are doing exactly the same thing to me.”
“How does it feel B?” She has this evil look on her face “How does it feel? Does it feel like someone has a knife in your gut twisting it till all the life and love you feel just drips out of them. Tell me B how does it feel to have someone not pander to your every need?”
“Why are you doing this? Why are you being like this?”
“Because I have had enough Buffy. I’m so fucking sick and tired of being made to feel worthless. I’m so fucking tired of having to make up for mistakes that I have made up for over and over.”
“So you think paying us off will help?”
“It was never about the money B.”
“Oh really I think I remember you saying something about I know it won't make up for anything but I hope it helps.”
“I did that for Dawn. I grew up with no money and no future. Dawn has a chance at one and the thought of her not getting that chance is unbearable. I feel bad because I wanted to make things right with Joyce and I didn’t get the chance to do it to her face so I thought maybe I could do it this way.”
“Well aren’t you a fucking knight in shining amour.”
“You don’t want the money B, don’t use it. I don’t care either way. Just don’t lay your petty ass mother fucking guilt trips on me anymore. I am done with it. I have done everything I possibly can.” She heads upstairs.
“Not everything” Buffy says quietly.
“Things are back to normal I see” Xander says noticing the iciness between Buffy and Faith.
“We are choosing to ignore them” Willow said whispering.
“They want to act like 15 year olds then we are going to let them” Dawn said.
“I can hear you” Buffy said from the passenger seat.
Xander cleared his throat “So Faith where are we off to tonight?”
“A club.”
“Hello underage here” Dawn said raising her hand.
“It is like the Bronze all age entry.”
“Oh cool.”
Faith kept driving on in silence. Buffy leaned over to turn on the radio and Faith swatted her hand away.
“My car don’t mess with the radio.”
“Whatever” Buffy turns and faces the three in the back “I was thinking tomorrow we could head to Santa Monica Pier. Gorge ourselves on Hot Dogs and Fairy Floss.”
“Sounds like a plan Buff. As long as you eat the fairy floss after going on the Ferris wheel I don’t want to see another bright pink Technicolor yawn. One was enough for this life time.”
“I did that once and only because I had three of them.”
“Not the point of the story.” He said smiling at her.
“We are here” Faith said parking the car.
All 5 got out and Faith locked up.
“Are you sure you want to leave your car here, isn’t exactly the best part of town” Buffy said.
“I will just buy another if anything happens.”
“Way to not spend the evil money” Buffy said under her breath as they followed Faith to the door. She paid the cover and they all filed in.
Music was pumping and strobe light flashed on and off. Faith grabbed Dawn’s hand and dragged her to the dance floor immediately. The others found a seat.
“Wow Faith wasn’t wrong when she said this was like the Bronze” Xander said looking around.
“Drinks?” Willow asked.
“Beer” Buffy and Xander said at the same time and Willow headed up to the bar.
“So Buff tell me what happened with you and Faith?”
“She vented and I have to accept it.”
“What?”
“Faith said she couldn’t just go on like nothing had happened, that she needed to deal with her emotions.”
“And you don’t want that?”
“I don’t know, when I think back to what happened with us it still hurts.”
“And it doesn’t for her?”
“Obviously it still does. I just don’t know how to take her aside and say you want to deal with it let’s deal Faith, I tried and she was like old Faith walls are up and nothing can bring them down.”
“Maybe the trust needs to grow again. Maybe you can’t be everything you want to be right away.”
“I want her so bad I hurt Xander.”
“Talk to her then.”
“Hello I have already told you I tried.”
“Oh so she is only worth one go. Buffy if you love her then don’t give up on her. Look what happened last time.”
“That is unfair.”
“To who Buffy? I have been in love and it was amazing and wonderful. I stuffed it up and if I can stop you from making that mistake then I will.”
“You always come through in the clinches don’t you?”
“Hey it is what I do best.”
Buffy gets up from their table and winds her way through the crowd trying to find Faith.
Middle of the dance floor. Buffy smiles ‘Where else would she be’ she says to herself.
Dawn looks exhausted already but keeps up with Faith anyway. Buffy saunters over to her and puts an arm firmly around her waist to stop her from moving anywhere.
“We need to talk and I will not let you walk away from me this time” Buffy whispers into Faith’s ear.
Faith is trying to keep from falling over. Buffy is pressed up against her and her breath is hot on her neck.
Faith keeps moving to the music ignoring the blonde girl.
“Is this how you want it Faith? I can’t be mad at you, I’m not mad at you. I just want to talk about what you said to me this morning.”
“I have nothing to say about that B…sorry.” She smirks at her.
Buffy scowls at her and grabs her wrist then drags Faith away from the dance floor. She slams her against the wall. Pinning both wrists by her side.
“Don’t fuck with me Faith, so not in the mood. You laid some heavy shit on me and didn’t give me a chance to even talk to you. That is not fair.”
“Since when have things ever been fair with us B?”
“Never, that is why I am trying now. I don’t want to make the same mistakes I made years ago.”
“Don’t think you have a choice in the matter.” She struggled against me.
“Oh yes I do. You told me all that stuff for a reason Faith and you are about to make the same mistake I did. Are you prepared to live with that?”
Her eyes narrowed and she stopped struggling “Talk.”
“If I let go you won’t run?”
She shakes her head.
Buffy gently let her go but puts a hand on her hip.
“I made mistakes, I am willing to admit that I didn’t try hard enough with you. No matter what I was going through I should have tried harder.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Fear. Plain and simple I was scared.”
“Of what?”
“Becoming you, being you, being with you, falling in love with you.”
“You love Angel.”
“Loved, when you came it was amazing. I knew that we had something that was when I got scared. He came back and it seemed so much easier to run to him.”
“You chose him over me do you know how that feels?”
“Actually yeah I do. Remember your little visit after your coma?”
Faith looked down at the ground. Buffy placed her hand under her chin and lifted it so they were looking at each other.
“What you did doesn’t matter to me anymore. You went to Angel for help, I wanted so badly to be the one there for you but you went to Angel, not me.”
“I went to kill him and broke down. He was just there it wasn’t by choice.”
“Still, seeing you with him hurt me more than I ever wanted to admit to anyone.”
“We fucked up pretty badly didn’t we B?”
“Yeah we did but I figure we have the rest of our lives to make it up to each other.”
Faith didn’t answer that one. She was still wary and jumping into bed with Buffy wasn’t an option just yet.
“Faith I am sorry for what I did. I regret it every day. If I had my time over I would like to think I wouldn’t be as cowardly, that I would have the guts to have grabbed you that first night I met you and tell you exactly how fucking insane you drove me. How much I wanted to kiss those pouty lips of yours, or how after every patrol I used to go home and get myself off. Calling your name when I came.”
“B when did you get all Sapphic on me?”
“The moment you walked into my life.” She smiled.
“Things aren’t going to be easy B. I have issues and I want us to get to know each other first. The way it should have been all those years ago.”
“I can do that Faith. I want you in my life I want you for the rest of my life. I will take you any way I can.”
“I bet you would you dirty bitch.” She smiled.
“Against this wall right now?” Buffy smiled playfully at the darker slayer and slid her hand up the brunette’s top.
Faith moved “I am all for the witty banter but not that B. Not yet.”
“Okay I understand” Buffy said taking a step back.
“One day at a time B. Friends?” She said extending her hand.
“Friends” Buffy said shaking it.
...continued in Just Friends...