Play it Again...Again
by Slayer Tash
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I don't own them, which sucks cause if I did lookout
Eliza!
Notes: It is me attempting to do Buffy again from Season 3 onwards.
So this is just Buffy thinking back from the time Faith arrived until now
leading up to something…what that something is I am unsure of right
now. I just get flashes every now and then about this story. They
are together, I will attempt to try and keep the story path the same
with the big bads and character introductions. I think I will keep
Tara and Anya around cause I like them. Dawn will be there too and
the relationship with her and Buffy will be better too. I won't use
the Go Ask Malice back story for Faith either. It is told from
Buffy's point of view.
Feedback: Feedback is always welcome.
Do you ever get to a point in your life and wonder just how the hell did I end up here?
I don't mean it in a bad way. I am lucky to be where I am right now and I know it. Sadly there was a point in my life where I didn't know it. My head was so far up my own ass.
I had a chip on my shoulder cause of destiny, my calling. I am a slayer, and at that time the only girl in the world who had the ability to stop all the evil in the world. It was a burden and didn't I let everyone know it.
It changed though and I thank god every day that it did, cause if it didn't I know I would not be here that is for sure.
Here right now is our living room in our Manhattan apartment. When I say ours I mean mine and Faith's. Even after 8 years being together I still get excited at `ours' I guess it is why we are still an us.
Yeah, yeah I also get excited at the `us' part as well.
She is in Peru at the moment dealing with a Succubus demon issue. She is still an active slayer and I think she will always be that way. Even if she has to patrol on a Zimmer frame! Don't laugh, she has already drawn up designs on said Zimmer frame.
Me…well I retired. I kind of had no choice in the matter. Faith and Giles ganged up on me after a particularly rough battle 2 years ago where I broke pretty much every bone in my body and tried to beat Faith's coma record.
So when did this change of heart happen? I couldn't tell you the date but I do remember the day the change began.
I sit on the couch at The Bronze. My arms across my chest as I listen to the new `Slayer' tell some ditty about wrassling an alligator nude. I want to be indifferent towards her. I still don't know her deal but something about her just doesn't let me be that way and that is pissing me off.
I know she is full of false bravado telling us these tall tales because when I manage to catch her eye I see something else. I can see fear. I can even feel it coming off her in waves. This girl is lost and she needs someone to find her.
"Buffy…Buffy…earth to Buffy" I am shaken from thoughts by Willow.
"Huh?" I say trying to focus on her but I can feel Faith's eyes on me, it is totally throwing me off.
"We are going to head home, it's late and we have English first up. Big test."
"Right" I say managing to stand up with some type of aplomb "Uh Faith will you be going to Sunnydale High?"
She snort laughs "I don't think so B. Not the school type."
"Okay, well I might do a quick sweep on the way home."
"I'll join" Faith says.
As I say good bye to my friends a little thrill runs through me at the thought of patrolling with someone else. Sure the scoobies were fun and Angel was…dull as a door knob compared to Faith.
Finally I had someone who understood this burden of slaying.
The friendship with Faith developed really quickly. We fought this big daddy vamp called Kakistos that had followed her all the way from Boston and Mom put her foot down and had Faith move in with us.
"There is no way a slayer is living in those kinds of conditions. Where does she even get the money Buffy?"
I just shrug and watch Faith from my spot in the kitchen. She is putting the chicken away like it is about to go out of style, she eats like that each time she is here. Faith eating is such an erotic experience. You can't help but wonder if she puts that kind of gusto in to everything she eats. I mean does, she has this energy you know?
"Buffy do you know much about her?"
"16, came from Boston. As far as I know she lived with her watcher until that vampire killed her. I think he tortured her as well. She doesn't talk about her family at all. I have asked and she just freezes up."
"Well we have plenty of time to find out." She says and heads back into the dining room with a glass of milk for Faith.
Yeah milk, who would think a naked alligator wrestler would drink milk! Well I did because of course I knew more about Faith than what I told my mother but I didn't think my new friend would appreciate me sharing what I do know.
Every night was like a sleep over. Mom would go to bed and Faith would sneak in to my room and we would talk for hours.
I was right about the false bravado but it didn't bother me because I got to see the real Faith. I was falling for her hard and fast.
Of course something had to come along and ruin it. Faith and I kiss, have our first date and then the next night on patrol who do I run into, Angel. He was a rabid, cranky and naked Angel.
I am stuck on the spot just watching him kneeling there growling at me.
"B, what is it?" Comes from the thick bush behind me.
"Uh nothing, just a stray dog I think. It ran off before I got a good look."
"Stay there I am coming to you."
"NO!" I yell. "It headed towards the centre of town so I think I will track it in case it is a werewolf you should finish off patrol."
"That makes no sense B." She appears to my left.
I spin and face her "Why not?"
"Centre of town is behind me, if the dog or wolf or whatever it was ran that way I would have seen it." She comes up to me.
"Oh."
She puts a hand on my lower back and I hear Angel growl. She looks just as he pounces on her and knocks her to the ground "What the fuck!"
She kicks him off her and he flies backwards. She picks herself up.
"That ain't no dog B."
He comes at her again. I get between them "Angel No."
He stops and bares his teeth.
"Angel?" She breathes "Angel? The ex honey you sent back to hell."
"Yeah."
"And you...you…lied."
I face her "It was a shock Faith, I wasn't expecting to see my ex carrying on like a rabid dog!"
She puts her hands up "Whatever I am out of here."
"Faith wait!" I call out to her quickly retreating back "Jesus Faith come back, I can't just leave him here."
No answer.
So what do I do? I take him to the mansion and chain him up then I go home and convince Faith not to tell anyone that he is back until I figure out why.
For the first night since she moved in she spent the whole night in her own room. I missed her so much.
When I came downstairs the next morning Faith was in the kitchen staring at the coffee pot.
"Don't you know a watched pot never boils" I say.
She doesn't acknowledge me.
"I guess in this case it doesn't need to boil. Don't you know a watched coffee pot never percolates?" I smile big.
That's it Buffy soften her with humour.
It doesn't work. Although I do get a reaction, she raises her eyebrow at me and rolls her eyes. Can I class that as progress? I walk up to her and block her in between me and the counter behind her.
"I totally understand why you are angry with me. I am angry at me too. I don't want to lie to you and I am sorry that I did but seeing him it was a shock. I killed him, I had said goodbye. I had moved on with my life so seeing him it did throw me a little…a lot and I again tell you I am sorry that I lied."
"What if I didn't see him B? What if I stayed put would you have told me?"
"Yes."
She scoffs at my answer.
"Look I know I can be a brat and I know I have my head shoved up my ass half the time but when it comes to you Faith it is different. I can't keep things from you and I don't want to keep things from you. Ever since you came to town I have felt different."
"I don't know if I can lie to Giles and the others."
"You won't have to, they won't ask about him so you won't need to hide him."
"That isn't what I mean Buffy and you know it."
I rest my forehead on her shoulder "I know, I know. Just how do I tell Giles that the guy that murdered his girlfriend is back? Can you imagine the look on Will and Xander's face when I tell them the vampire that…I could have stopped it Faith" I look at her "I could have put a stake through his heart 10 times over but I didn't cause when I looked at him I still saw the man I loved. People died because I was selfish. People I cared about were hurt because I was selfish" I make her look at me "So please tell me, how do I walk in and say he is back?"
"I don't know B." She kisses the tip of my nose softly.
I put my right arm around her and rest it on her lower back "I missed you so much last night."
"I don't know what you are doing to me Buffy. It took all I had not to just give up and come in." She has this look in her eyes, I know what she is thinking.
"I am not in love with him anymore" I say running my left hand over her cheek.
"I get there is history B. We are new and if you wanted to…if you have to be with him…I know I can't compete with him."
"You've got it all wrong Faith, he can't compete with you."
Cue romantic music as she leans down and we kiss. Soft, slow and passionate.
How could she ever think I would want to go back to him after a kiss like this?
"Faith if you could kiss yourself you would see why he can't compete with you."
"Mad skills B, you have no idea." She grins before capturing my lips in another heated kiss.
So here I was in the library, facing Giles. Faith was sitting at the table looking particularly interested in the ancient text Giles had been thumbing through when we arrived.
"Go ahead Buffy" Giles said a soft smile on his lips.
Man it was hot in here "Do you have the air con on, it is really warm in here" I said tugging at the neck of my sweater.
"It is like 40 degrees outside B" Faith says. I shoot her a look and she puts her hands up "I might go see if the Scoobs have arrived yet." She gets up from her chair.
She can't go, if she goes I chicken out "No!" I say to her.
"No? Out of the two of us here who is the boss of me?" Pissed off face. Not good.
"I don't mean it like that, I just need to have you here. If you go I could chicken out."
"This isn't my deal B. It isn't up to me to tell him. You can't put that on me."
"I know but it is hard Faith."
"Just say it B. It's like pulling off a band aid, dragging it out won't make it any less painful."
Who would have thought Faith would have been the smart one out of the two of us!
"FaithandIwerepatrollinglastnightlookingforourbeastythingandIcameacros sAngelinthebushbehindShadyPines" I breathe in deep "Itookhimtothemansionandchainedhimupcausehewaskindofrabidandsnarl ingandIdon'tthinkheknewitwasmeorifheknowswhereheisandIamreallyreallyrea llysorryGiles."
He takes his glasses off and pinches the bridge of his nose.
"IamsorryGilesIdidn'twanttotellyoubutitwaspointedoutIshouldn'tkeepthisfr omyoubutIrememberwhathedidandthatIcouldhavestoppeditbutIdidn'tandIthoug htyouwouldbeupsetwithmeagainandFaithandIaredating."
"B you were good!" She says.
"Sorry!"
Giles turns his back from me and walks in to his office, closing the door behind him.
"I think that went well."
I raise my eyebrows at her.
"Maybe not?" She queries.
"No maybe not" I say softly.
The doors to the library open and in waltz Willow, Xander and Oz.
"Well if it isn't my two favourite slayers" Xander says plopping himself down across from Faith.
Oz acknowledges us with a nod.
"Hey Buff" Willow says walking up to me.
I smile weakly at her.
"What's wrong?" She says placing her hand on my right arm.
I can feel the tears well up in my eyes.
"Oh no! It was Oz wasn't it, the mauled people it was Oz."
"It's not Oz, it's Angel" I say.
I hear Xander ask Faith if I had bumped my head during patrol, and I hear her confirm that I didn't and that indeed Angel was back.
The next few minutes are all a blur to me. I have my best friends freaking out and Oz totally relieved that he hasn't killed anyone in his wolf form. I also have a watcher that won't talk to me.
I didn't know what to do but for some reason running away from the library and the school seemed like a perfectly logical thing to do.
If anyone tells you at any point in your life that telling the truth is a good thing do me a favour and ignore them. They are lying! Giles if it is possible is even more British than before I told him. I am surprised he hasn't put a hole in his glasses lens from the amount of time he spends cleaning them. Willow and Xander seem okay but I know they want to ask me questions. So far they haven't, I hope it stays that way because I don't have any answers right now.
Faith asked Giles to keep her and I a secret for the time being. She says it is just until this Angel mess is sorted out. I think her keeping us a secret is more to do with Willow than anything. Will is a little jealous of how close Faith and I have become. I am sure if she knew how close she would blow a gasket.
Mom was not pleased at all. Mother's never forget. Especially when it comes to crazy exes who try to kill their daughters. She was watching my every move. This made it extremely hard for Faith and I to try and do anything. Call me selfish but not having Faith smooches would have had to have been the worst part of this whole Angel saga.
So truth it seems is over rated.
Two weeks have passed since his return and he seemed back to normal. There was no more naked and no more rabid. He was walking around clothed, speaking and of course brooding. I tried to stop by after school most days and I made Faith come with me because he was now starting to make eyes at me. I only wanted Faith making those kinds of eyes at me. Plus it gave us alone time. We would walk up to the mansion hand in hand me babbling about my day and her I think listening. She never came in though. She stayed outside chain smoking.
Today was no different, I leave her on the front step puffing away and I head inside. I know Faith wasn't too pleased with my visits here. We had several fights about the visits. I guess she felt that I was hanging on to something or that the more time I spend with him I would rekindle old feelings. The only thing I felt when I went there was guilt and not because I sent him to hell, guilt because I felt like I was betraying Giles, Mom, Willow, Xander, Miss Calendar and Faith.
"Buffy?" He says pulling me out of my day dream.
"Hey" I say moving away from the curtains and further into the room.
"How are you?" He moves closer to me.
"Fine" I side step him and head over to the fireplace "I uh… I don't think I will be coming by for a while Angel."
"Why?" Puppy dog eyes.
Okay just like a band aid "Iamseeingsomeoneandshedoesn'tlikethatIstillcomepastandseeyouitisca usingfightsandIhatefightingwithher."
"She? Her?"
"Faith, I told you about her."
"Is it…serious?"
"It is still new."
"Well then why does she have a say in where you go."
"She is my girlfriend Angel and I would very much like to keep it that was despite the newness of it all."
"Right."
"Look I don't want to hurt your feelings but Faith and I we have something."
"Slaying abilities."
"A future."
He looks hurt by this and it isn't about to get any better.
"She makes me feel alive Angel. Since she has been here I have changed and I know I am better for it. I understand my calling more. I don't care that I have only known her a month and that we have only been dating a fortnight because I feel like I have known Faith my whole life. I feel like Faith is the part of me that had been missing. It just all makes sense with her."
"You should go." He says.
"Take care" I say as I turn and walk out.
I am turning 18 tomorrow. I am so excited. Mom said I can have a party and invite whoever I want and the day after that she has a buying trip for the gallery that will have her away for 4 whole days. Faith and I will have the house to ourselves so we can do what we want as loud as we want. It's not like we don't do what we want now it is just we have to keep it down so Mom won't get suspicious.
"Why are you awake, it's still early?" Faith says from her place on the bed next to me.
"Couldn't sleep" I say running my hand over the hand she has on my stomach.
"I obviously failed at tiring you out." She says kissing my shoulder.
"No you didn't, just thinking about tomorrow."
"Ah the big 18."
"Yeah, am I supposed to feel some type of responsibility?"
"More than you have now?"
I turn and face her "The turning 18 responsibility is totally different to the slayer responsibility."
"How so?" She raises that eyebrow.
"Well for one I will no longer be a minor, what we did last night will be illegal."
She smiles.
"Faith sweetie that isn't a good thing."
"Says who B?"
"Says the law."
"B you are doing nothing to discourage me." She moves down under the covers.
I feel my legs get pushed open and the gentle weight of my girlfriend lying between them. She starts by placing soft kisses on my stomach.
"Was that illegal?" She asks.
"Not one little bit, keep going."
And she does lower and lower leaving soft, wet kisses on my skin. I feel her breath on my pussy and I breathe in. I pull the doona up over my head so I can not only feel but see. I hiss out as she slides her tongue over my clit.
I open my legs wider.
"Thanks baby." She says into my pussy.
"Oh shit Faith totally illegal" I say as her tongue enters me. Her eyes dart up and meet mine, my hips thrust up to meet her mouth. I slide my hand into her hair and grip on so tight, making sure she doesn't move from where she is.
And she doesn't she has been there for what feels like 1000 exquisite hours and I was right about the way she eats. She puts everything she has into it. I never thought a tongue would completely fill me but it does. Maybe it isn't the tongue maybe it is her.
I am so close now and she knows, she uses her thumb to caress my clit.
"Oh Faith, yes Faith" I moan out.
I arch up into her and pull the doona down so I can breathe.
"Faith, Faith, Faith, Faith, Faith, Faith, Faith oh yeeeeeeeesssssssss Faith oh fuck Faith, fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck."
I put a pillow over my face as the orgasm hits me. I moan in pure pleasure as she works every last little bit of orgasm I have in me.
Note: Ready? Okay...now I am not going to very often do scenes word for word in my little rewrite cause the whole part of doing it my way means that a lot of things would be different between our two slayers but this scene that I do use is classic. One of my favourite all time Buffy scenes. I won't say what it is, just read it. And it isn't all word for word either just the best bits! This part ended up longer than expected but the words were flowing and I took some of the advice from Faith on this and trusted what came out. I am quite proud of this chapter if I must say so!
Turning 18 sucked!
I was drained of my powers so the council could test me and so Faith wouldn't interfere or come to my rescue Giles sent her out of town on some bogus mission. She was not happy to say the least. You would have thought they did it to her rather than me with how angry she got and she gave them a warning if they tried to do it to her in a year and half's time. Makes me glad she loves me because I don't think I ever want to be on the wrong side of her.
They fired Giles because in the end he told me about the test. As much as I appreciate the heads up from him I kinda wish he told me before he injected me and let my Mother get taken hostage by a crazy vampire.
I didn't have time to be angry at Giles because as usual Sunnydale kept the demons coming at us.
In the words of my beloved Faith we fought the wicked rowdy Sisterhood of Jhe and also had to stop some idiots from opening the hell mouth again I swear if I got a dollar for each time some big bad wanted to open it I could retire tomorrow.
Currently I am on my way to talk to Giles about last night's patrol. We fought these fancy looking vampires in leather vests and swords and I just know it is something that will make his day. Even though I wanted to be angry at him for the test I also felt bad that he lost his job because of me.
"Hey Giles" I call as I walk in.
"Buffy, Hello."
Some smug looking twerp comes up to me "Hello."
I give him the once over then turn to Giles "New Watcher?"
"New Watcher." He says.
He comes even closer and extends his hand "Wesley Wyndham-Pryce."
I stare him down and take a step back.
"It's very nice to meet you."
I go over to Giles watching this guy the whole time "Is he evil?"
"Evil?" Wesley inquires.
"The last one was evil."
He goes off on a little monologue about Gwendolyn Post and how he is glad I am on the ball. Apparently a good slayer is a cautious slayer.
"Is he evil?" I ask Giles again. Oooh this is fun.
"Not in the strictest sense" Giles grins.
Wesley wanders over to pick up a diary of some sort and asks me to explain last night's patrol.
"Vampires" I say.
"Yes."
"Killed `em."
"Anything else you can tell me."
Do I seriously have to talk to this guy? I look at Giles…Damn he encourages me to.
"One of them had swords, I don't think he was with the other two."
"Swords?" He begins looking through a book "Swords…One long, one short?"
"Mmmm both pointy" I look at Giles "With like jewels and stuff."
He now babbles on about them being called The Eliminati or some stuff like that, I wonder where Faith is. She was still asleep when I left this morning. I suppose that is the benefit of being a genius who completed high school when she was 14.
Giles is threatened "You seem to know a lot about them." He says to Wesley.
"I didn't get this job because of my looks."
"I really, really believe that" I grin.
Yeah this is a lot of fun…until he gives me orders to retrieve an amulet.
"I will?"
"Are you not used to being given orders?" He asks.
"Whenever Giles sends me on a mission he says `please' and afterwards I get a cookie."
Giles tries not to laugh.
There she is, she saunters into the library like she has all the time in the world.
Wesley sees her "Ah this is perhaps Faith."
She stops walking and looks him up and down "New watcher?"
"New Watcher" Giles and I confirm.
She scoffs "Screw that!" She turns and walks out.
I look at Giles "Now why didn't I just say that?"
"Buffy, would you."
Not like I need an excuse to go after my girlfriend.
"Fine I will go and see if I can get her back" I get up off the table and look at Wesley "Don't say anything terribly interesting while I am gone."
I rush out and catch up with her in the quad.
"Hey Faith, wait up."
She stops walking and I reach her.
"Look I know this new guy is a dick…I don't have anything to follow that he is pretty much a dick."
She takes my hands and laces her fingers between them "Are you really gonna take orders from him?"
"We kinda have to, it's our job."
"No it's not! We can do whatever we want. Chosen Two B. Don't let him take the fun out of it."
"Oh that would be terrible, taking the fun out of slaying, stabbing, beheading."
"Don't play like you don't like it" she cuts me off.
"I don't!" I shrug my shoulders.
"You liar, you get juiced every time you stake one of those fuckers."
She does have a point, I smile at her.
"Cant fool me, I know first hand just how juiced you do get."
"Yeah but you are way off base with the I enjoy it part."
"Again with the lies! I know that if you don't get a good staking in you are itching for a fight."
I pull her against me and our arms wrap around each other "You going to come back in?"
"What would I need to come back in for Miss Summers?"
"Well I only have PE first up, I could always ditch it and we could fool around."
"You get this dressed up when PE is your first class?"
"Not all of us can roll out of bed looking as ravishing as you my sweet."
"It's a curse B, what can I say." She smiles at me.
"Don't say anything just kiss me."
And she does. I don't care that I am in the quad of my school with hundreds of students, cause kisses like this are totally worth the cat calls and wolf whistles we are getting.
"Fucking Dykes" I hear.
She pulls away "What did you say?"
Some stupid jock footballer is sneering at her "I said Fucking dykes."
"Jealous cause a limp dick like you can't get a girl as hot as mine?" She says stalking over to him.
"Faith don't" I say.
"I didn't know kicking you out of my bed would turn you gay." He said to her.
All his friends are laughing.
"It didn't, it was the fact you were so bad. You ruined sex with men for the rest of my life."
"Maybe it was cause I was so good you won't ever be able to get it that good with another guy ever again so why even bother. You just find some little whore to fuck."
And he is airborne, she punched him so hard it sent him flying straight into the fountain 15 metres behind him.
I fold my arms across my chest. I am not in any way impressed with this display.
She looks at me "What! He started it."
"Really mature Faith" I shake my head at her and begin to head back inside just as the bell for first period rings.
"Buffy!" She calls.
I turn and see security heading for her "You better get out of here before there is more trouble" I point to security.
She sees them and takes off.
And I thought dating a 243 year old vampire had its down sides.
I didn't see her again until later that night. I was angry at her but all I could think about all day was whether she had actually slept with that jock who she decked or whether it was just mouthing off on both their parts.
I couldn't talk to Willow or Xander because they still didn't know about Faith and it isn't exactly a problem I could go to Giles about.
"What are you doing hiding?" She says as I step put of the tomb she had found me in.
"I was looking for the amulet when 6 bad guys show up."
"Why didn't you fight?"
"6 against one. Are you sure are a genius?"
We leave the crypt and see them jump down a sewer a few metres away. She runs after them.
"Faith what are you doing?"
"It's now 6 against 2. Much better odds."
"It is still 3 vamps to 1 slayer!"
"Look my job is to kill vamps and stop whatever hell them and their demon folk friend try to start ritual wise. If I don't get that amulet something funky is gonna happen and when it does I would at least like to know I did all I could to stop it."
"Faith!"
"Going in B, and if you don't follow I might die."
She jumps in.
"Damn it!" She really does piss me off.
I too jump down the hole.
I jump into the fray and begin fighting, I see Faith has her hands full with two of them. I notice one standing back watching so I know he has what we want. I go straight for him.
Long story short we get what we came looking for after I almost drown. Yeah 3 on 1 much easier.
If I wasn't already pissed off enough already with her she just has to be a smart ass.
"Piece of cake B. You could have waited upstairs for me." She grins.
"Thin ice Faith, Thin fucking ice. I just want to get this amulet to Giles and wash my hair about 15 million times."
"You juiced? How about a little somethin' somethin'?" She wiggles her eyebrows.
"Sure if it involves you fucking yourself" I say before I head off out of this rabbit hole.
"Why ya got your panties in a bunch B?" She follows me out.
"Are you kidding me?"
She has this totally dumb look on her face and it is taking all my strength not to slap it off.
"Your display at my school this morning. What the hell! And then jumping in to the hornet's nest with no plan, no regard to our safety. It is totally selfish Faith, totally and utterly selfish."
"You finished Little Miss High and Mighty?" She folds her arms across her chest.
"Not by a long shot. When we patrol we need to be in synch, we need to understand each other. If we don't and we slip up one of us or both of us could die. It is not all rainbows and sunshine Faith. If we don't do our job properly then it isn't just us that could die, it could be all of Sunnydale, all of California, the USA or the world."
"Hey newsflash, I didn't die. You didn't die. Our job is done, we have the amulet and once again because of us the whole world is sleeping soundly right now…well not in Australia cause it is day time but there could be people sleeping…do ya see where I am going Twinkie?" She smirks.
"What you have been doing the job for 5 minutes and you know how it works?"
"I am still here aren't I from doing it my way."
"For how much longer though? You came all the way over from Boston because your way didn't work back there."
Yep I went there, I really went there. I watch her face fall and her walls go up.
"Whatever B, I did fine on my own before I came here. I can do fine on my own again." She begins to leave.
"So because things get a little out of hand you are going to take off?"
"Things didn't get out of hand Buffy. You made a mountain out of a fucking ant hill. I just don't get it. I don't get you. We have this gift, these wicked cool abilities and you act like you were struck down with a flesh eating disease. I fight cocky cause I can't afford to fight any other way. I go in with an `oh well I think I may win if I give it my best darn shot' attitude and I will more than likely die but I don't I got skills, I know I got skills and I use them. I know my power, I understand my power, I trust my power and cause I do I am still here. So yeah I may not have been doing my job as long as you but I sure as hell know what it's about more than you do."
I don't say anything. I just stand there and look self righteous.
"And at your school this morning I was defending my girl, our honour. Maybe you should try it some fucking time."
"You didn't have to say anything, you could have kept kissing me."
"Why cause it was probably our last?"
"No! That jock got what he wanted, he got a reaction. He got to look like a fucking hero in front of all of his friends."
"Til I knocked him into next week."
"You aren't meant to be proud of that Faith. You are way stronger than him. He could have been seriously hurt."
"Hey B, remember what I said earlier about trying to defend your girl. Now might be a good time to try that."
"I can't defend that Faith! You gonna punch everyone that has something to say about our relationship?"
"He called you a whore."
"I'm not though. So just because one idiot doesn't like me he has to be beaten up? If you go around hitting people at school that don't like me then it is just gonna be me Willow and Xander there."
"I'm not used to this."
"What?"
"This" she signals between me and her. "Relationships."
"I'm not an expert either but using super powers to put a fool in his place is not a good thing to do."
"Why don't you just say that though? Why did you have to ignore me and huff and puff like the big bad wolf all afternoon. Isn't it easier to talk about things rather than assume that I am a mind reader?"
"Of course it would have been easier but I do assume you are a mind reader it is the girlfriend's right to do so."
"So because I am also a girlfriend do I get assuming privileges?"
"No, I called them first."
"Fine, I call I am right about slaying."
"You can't call that!"
"Yeah I can. You didn't establish calling rules. You can just pick and choose what you call and not tell me so here I am telling you that I call this."
"It's an opinion though."
"The better opinion and that is why you are fighting it. Get over yourself Buffy cause as soon as you do you will find this whole slaying thing will come a little easier to you. I know you didn't choose it but you can choose what to do with it. The more you fight something you can't change the more you lose. Bit by bit you disappear and all that is left is a shell."
I walk up to her "Okay."
"I will try B. I will try and stop and think before I do but please promise me that you will try and understand me. Trust me a little. There was a reason we were chosen."
I put my arms around her and hold her. I rest my head in the crook of her neck as she holds me. I know she is smart but you don't learn this from a book, just what has she been through?
I have always wanted to learn more about Faith. Before our fight she made off the cuff remarks about her family life but when I pressed for more she always managed to distract me. Either with kissing, sex or if we were on patrol she always `heard' something.
I wasn't letting anything distract me this time. When we got home two nights ago I tried to ask more questions and she did try to distract me. Told me I was missing out on the best part of fighting, the making up. Of course I gave in and she was right make up sex was the best part of fighting but as I lay beside her afterwards I felt so pissed at myself but when Faith has her fingers inside you and her mouth sucking your neck see how resilient you are!
People think that because I am blonde, I am stupid. I can be, sometimes I don't even see what is right in front of me but nothing could cloud what I saw in Faith's eyes when I asked. Pain, fear, sadness and loss.
We fought again during the day. I asked and again she closed up. Decided we would patrol instead. Bad idea cause we almost killed a guy. He came out of nowhere. We were in this alley fighting off a bunch of vamps and the next thing I know I throw him off me and Faith has him up against a dumpster warning him about sneaking up on people that have weapons in their hands.
"Hey wait. I know you" I said to him.
"I – I am Allan, Al-Allan Finch. Deputy Mayor." He said straightening up his tie and catching his breath.
"Right and what is the Deputy Mayor doing in a dark, dank alley downtown almost getting killed?" Faith said.
"I was looking for you two."
"Really, why?" I say.
He pulls a file out from under his coat "The Mayor isn't what he seems."
"Are you kidding! He is a hoot" Faith said.
I look at her eyebrows raised.
"What? He has a column in The Sunnydale Times. It is freaking hilarious. Dude is a real germ freak."
"He really is" Allan said nodding in agreement with Faith.
"Uh huh so what is with the file?"
"Just read it and if anyone asks this never happened."
"Okay."
He walks off.
I wait a few minutes then punch Faith on the arm.
"Ouch! What the fuck B?"
"What the fuck? What the fuck? Your stupid gung ho slaying style almost killed him."
"Déjà vu…this is Déjà vu…"
"What?"
"Didn't we have this fight already? Like this would be the 3rd or 4th time I am sure."
"Yeah we did and you promised that you would stop and think."
"We were fighting vamps and he grabbed your shoulder from behind and you threw him into a dumpster towards me, I thought he was a vamp what the hell else was I supposed to do?"
"Not jump into the fray all willy nilly."
"Jump in to the fray? What fucking fray? We were fighting these vamps Buffy and you were the one that threw him towards me. I thought it was to stake him."
"So it is my fault?"
"Is what your fault? I have no fucking idea why were fighting about this. He snuck up on us during a battle. What the hell did he think was gonna happen?"
"Not that I am sure!"
"Well I didn't go WWF on his ass B so stop pointing the finger at me. Neither of us is to blame! He wasn't staked and it seems we have some info we need to look at."
"Is it always that easy for you Faith?"
She sighs.
"Seriously! It just seems like it is all so easy for you."
"Nothing happened. I am really trying to get on board with this shit Buffy but you are doing my head in with the constant what if deals you keep coming up with. It was a spilt second thing and we stopped in time. Apart from a bruised ass the dude is fine. Why can't you ever just accept anything for what it is?"
"It is scary Faith. This is all new to me. I have never had to contend with another way of slaying or anyone calling me on things."
"I am not one of the Scoobs that you boss around B. And I am not going to keep going over the same shit with you. You know my deal when it comes to slaying. You don't want to do this joint patrol thing then that is fine, it doesn't bother me."
"I like doing the joint patrol thing."
"Fine, but we need to set ground rules cause if I am tryin' to do things a little more your way then you need to start doin' some of the things my way."
"Alright."
"Okay first off you have to have sex with me every night after patrols." She pulls me against her "Secondly You have to have sex with me every night after patrols."
"I didn't know I was dating a comedian."
"You have no idea B."
"You are right I don't and every time I ask you distract me."
"You don't exactly ask easy questions B. You wanna know all the gory details right away. You don't start off small." She steps away from me.
"Faith we have been dating each other for 4 months! I know the small."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I know that your middle name is Mary and I know I am not allowed to release that detail to anyone."
She smiles softly.
"I know that despite what you tell Xander Scooby Doo is your favourite cartoon not X-Men. I know that X-Men isn't even in your top 5 of cartoons. It is Scooby Doo, The Simpsons, Astroboy, G – Force and that stupid little Sponge Guy."
"SpongeBob…he is kinda new but totally wicked!"
"I also know that you drink milk faster than cows can produce it and that you can hold 11 and a half Oreo's in your mouth at any one time. You have 2 Mariah Carey cd's that you hide behind all your other cd's in case people find them. I know your shoe size, your pant size, your bra size, your panty size. I know that you get so pissed off with your hair when it won't curl the right way. I know that you are so possessive of the covers at night. I know that you are always thinking in that head of yours. I know that you write in a diary that you don't think I know about and No I haven't read it. I respect your privacy. I know that even though you have this tough persona you are a big sweetheart. You cried during Titanic. Three times! You held my mothers hand when she cried as well. Let's not mention what happens every time we walk past the pet store and you see the puppies and the kittens through the window. You are the smartest person I know, you out smart Willow by thousands and yet you can't see that I want to know you Faith. The real you, bad bits, good bits, blah bits, all the bits."
"Why?"
"Cause it's you! No matter what has happened it has help shape you. The woman I love."
Her eyes almost pop out of her head "You love me?"
"Yep."
"Wow. The only person that ever said she loved me was my Grandma."
I walk up to her "Well get used to hearing it cause I plan on saying it a lot."
"I love you too Buffy."
"I know that too" I smile.
"Can we head home now?"
"We can."
We head off out of the alley hand in hand.
"Oh I also know that when you come you let out this tiny little squeak."
"Okay, Okay I get the picture."
So we talked. I think it was the first night that we came home from patrol since we started being intimate that we talked and did nothing but talk.
I am kinda glad though because at about 4am Mom came in to the room to see if we were okay because she heard voices.
I thought we were only talking softly, what the hell does she hear when we have sex? As much as we try to muffle them I am sure at times we can be louder than our soft whispers. Then again when we do have sex we tend to be in my room all the way down the hall from my mother. We were in Faith's bed this time around. Not that we didn't have sex in there at all. It just tended to be when Mom wasn't home. Not that we are horn dogs either. Oh man I am just going to start again.
Faith and I talked. Really talked. It wasn't all up to her to share and care I did some sharing of my own. It was mainly about Faith though.
Faith didn't always have a great child hood. Her father passed away just before her fifth birthday and after that her Mom became an alcoholic. She basically skipped town with Faith after the funeral but then proceeded to practically ignore her for the next 5 years. When she wasn't being ignored she was being verbally abused. Her paternal Grandmother (or as Faith likes to call her Gram) was given custody of Faith when her mother was arrested for Manslaughter after hitting a guy while drunk driving. She says she was about 10 when all this happened and she also said her mother didn't even think when her Gram asked for sole custody, she gladly signed away all her parental rights. Her Mom is still in jail serving time. They don't speak to each other.
She didn't seem sad at this and when I asked why, she told me that it was when her life changed for the better. She and her Gram became best friends. Had a great childhood from that day onwards. Bloomed academically, was encouraged to be whatever she wanted. She also said her Dad's family are filthy rich and she has a multi million dollar trust fund that she gets when she turns 18.
She showed me a photo of them. It was taken just before she came to Sunnydale. She said that her Gram knows all about her calling and feels really awful because after her watcher died she took off and has only started speaking to her again in like the last week or so. When I asked why she said that her watcher was the daughter of one of her Gram's close friends and was scared that they would blame her for the death.
It was really strange to see her this vulnerable. She breezed through the story about her Mom but when it came to her Gram she had tears in her eyes the whole time. She said that while Kakistos scared her the thought of Gram being disappointed in her scared her more. So she made her way to Sunnydale. Her watcher really had spoken about me and while she didn't have a plan she thought being around another slayer she would be safe.
I told her that she was always safe with me.
My forehead was flicked.
"Hey, where are you?" Xander says.
I rub my forehead "Uh 5th period chem?"
"Duh, you totally spaced on us. Willow was telling us about a gig the Dingoes have tonight at The Bronze and why don't we leave the file Deputy Mayor Finch gave us in the capable hands of the brits and have a little fun."
"Oh, right. I am in. Have you asked Faith?"
Willow rolls her eyes at me "Do I have to? I know your Mom is on a Yay Faith drive but we aren't."
"Speak for yourself Willow, I adore Faith" Xander says.
"So do I" I smile.
Willow frowns "Well why don't you two start a club." She turns back to her desk.
Xander just shrugs his shoulders at me.
School finishes and we all head to the library. I walk in the double doors and see Faith sitting at the table flicking through some rather large books.
"Hey" I say.
She looks up "Hey" I get a soft smile. I hear Willow scoff behind me.
"What's up Boston?" Xander says going over and sitting next to her.
"Nothin, Princess Anne found out the Mayor is trying to start some Ascension bullshit so guess who got the fact finding job?"
"I am gonna guess you." He grins at her.
"Yep, I've been reading for nearly two hours and nothing and I am about to going fucking crazy in here."
"Why don't you just go then" Willow says quite snippily.
"Well Ascension doesn't sound good Red so I figure I will try and find something out and make sure we aren't in any immediate danger."
"Aren't you a hero." She says under her breath. My slayer hearing picks it up so I know Faith's does.
I watch Faith, she tries not to look hurt but again her eyes give her away. She just looks back down at the book.
"So Faith you up for a little under aging tonight at The Bronze? Dingoes are playing."
"Maybe, I want to see if I can find anything first."
I go and stand behind her "Well I will try and help, if you keep this up I will look like the laziest slayer ever, what book have you got?"
"Demon Codex. Thought it might be a good place to start. Anytime someone wants to be a demon in this town they seem to be starting something so none of G-Man's ritual books said anything about the Ascension so I thought maybe the codex will say what kind of demon would start one."
"Any luck?" I say absent mindedly playing with the curls in her hair.
"No, a big fat zero." She says leaning back into me. She looks up at me, god she is even gorgeous upside down.
"Well take a break and come out with us tonight" I lean down and give her a few soft kisses. Her hand snakes its way into my hair. I am about to deepen it when I hear Xander squeak.
I pull back and we look at him.
"Are you okay white bread?" Faith asks.
"Uh sure, just when did...the...uh…you kissed!"
Whoops! Guess we kinda forgot where we were.
"Oh, uh. B?" She says standing up beside me.
"Faith and I are Faith and I. We are an us, a couple" I take her hand and our fingers lace together. She gives my hand a gentle squeeze.
"What?" Willow shouts and stands up.
"Will, we are dating. Have been for a few months."
"Dating…a girl…and you didn't tell me! I am your best friend Buffy."
"I didn't know how Will, you aren't exactly her biggest fan."
"That is so not the point Buffy and you know it!"
"It is the point Willow. I am sorry I didn't tell you but I honestly didn't know how because of your feelings towards her."
"So you decide to exchange saliva in front of me as a way of informing me?"
"No! I just forgot where I was, that you guys didn't know. I haven't seen her all day and I wanted a kiss. I didn't think about it at all. I just kissed my girlfriend."
"I for one am glad about that."
"Xander!" She scolds him and runs out.
"What I am!" He looks smug.
I look at him shaking my head "I have to go after her. I will deal with you later."
Now he looks scared.
I look at Faith "I'll see you at home?"
She nods "I'm sorry."
"Not your fault baby."
"Still I feel kinda responsible."
"Your lips should, I just couldn't resist them" I lean in and we kiss again briefly and I head off in search of my best friend.
I look everywhere. Even places I know she wouldn't go but I knew she wouldn't go to where I could find her. I spent all afternoon and early evening looking for her all over town and had no luck. I walk in the front door to my house and slam the door.
"Buffy honey is that you?' Mom calls from the kitchen.
"Yeah" I throw my keys on to the entry table and take my jacket off and hanging it up.
"Could you come in here please?"
I make my way to the kitchen. I see Faith sitting there head down.
"Everything okay?" I say sliding on to the stool next to Faith.
"Yes. I do need to talk to the both of you though."
Uh fucking oh.
"About?"
"Willow came to see me this afternoon."
She what! No fucking way.
"Yes." Is all I say.
"I think you know what she told me."
"Yes, and?"
"Well I am a little upset at you young lady."
"Why? We've done nothing wrong Mom."
"I know Sweetie. I am just upset that you felt you couldn't come to me about this. Faith please don't look so scared."
I reach over and take her hand in mine, our fingers entwine once again.
"Buffy, I know you must think I am oblivious but Faith has been living here for a few months now and I see more than you think I do."
"Ew!" I keep my eyes down.
"Not like that! I just see how you are with each other. And not that I allowed myself to admit it at the time but I heard things too."
"EW!" I close my eyes.
I feel Faith rub her thumb over mine.
"I am not going to pretend that I am okay with my teenage daughter being sexually active especially under my roof but I know there isn't much I can do to change the situation but I don't want you two to think that just because I know and I accept this that you can do what you want whenever you want and as loud as you want."
"EW, EW, EW, EW!" I cover my ears.
Mom pulls them down "Buffy, you want me to treat you like an adult about this then please act like one."
I can't look at her, I just can't but I nod my head.
"I want what is best for you Buffy, you too Faith. I don't want this to get in the way of school. I know slaying takes up a lot of your time but school is important too and I won't let you waste this chance you have Buffy."
"I'm not wasting anything Mom! I am not some antsy little boy who can't keep it in his pants. I love Faith and we are more than that. She has helped me so much with my school work these last few moths. Ask any of my teachers my grades have improved."
"I will believe me, I just want you to understand that you can't take advantage of me just because you are under the same roof."
"We won't Mrs. S. I promise."
"Good, now I have book club in half an hour so I am going to freshen up and get changed. I won't be home until around 11."
"We have to patrol and we told Oz we would drop by and support the Dingoes at The Bronze tonight for a bit. What time do you want us home?" Faith asks. What a suck up!
"I want you and Buffy to help with the grocery shopping in the morning and I want to get in before the normal Saturday morning crowds so don't be home too late." She comes over and kisses both of us on top of the head.
"We won't" Faith say to her retreating form.
I hear her footsteps go up the stairs and her bedroom door close. I face Faith.
"You are such a suck up!" I say.
"Hey!"
"What time do you want us home" I mimic her facing the island again.
"What else was I supposed to do? Say thanks Joyce and take you hard and fast against this island?"
"No" I rub my temples.
She rubs my back and kisses my shoulder.
"Willow is in so much trouble. I spent hours looking for her and she was at the gallery dobbing on us?"
"Actually she was here. I got home and she and Joyce were in the living room chatting it up."
"Well no matter where she did it she is dead" I look at Faith.
"How about I take you out for dinner before we patrol?"
"I'm not really in the mood. I want to find Willow as soon as possible" I get up from the stool.
"No you don't." She says and pulls me between her legs.
"Faith my Mom is upstairs."
"Put a lid on it horn dog, you need to calm down before you do anything. I get you being mad at Red. I am right there with you but you gotta cool your jets babe. She'll get that talkin' to but you don't want to say or do something you may regret later."
I sigh, totally defeated. I rest my head on her shoulder.
"Dinner?" she asks rubbing my back.
"No, I just…I don't know."
"We can stay like this for as long as you want."
"Thank you."
We walk into the Bronze after patrol. The DJ is still playing so we either missed Oz or they haven't started yet. I see him with Xander and Willow at a table. Faith must have spotted them too cause she takes my hand leads me over to the table.
She says hello to everyone. I say hello to Xander.
He is all smiles at the arrival of us. Oz just nods his head in recognition and Willow is splitting her glare between Faith and I.
"Yo Dog Boy I gather Red filled you in on the sitch?" Faith says.
He again nods "Congrats."
"Thanks." She says then faces me "You want a drink?"
"Diet Coke please."
"Be right back." She gives me a quick peck on the lips and head off to the bar.
I sit on a stool next to Xander. He and Oz are talking about Spiderman and whether the web only comes out of his hands.
"Where else would it come out of?" I ask.
Oz has this wry look on his face and Xander has gone white.
I get it "Oh my god that is gross."
"Faith would have appreciated it."
"Still gross."
"I better go set up" Oz says.
"I'll come with you" Willow says and follows him back stage.
"So you and Faith huh?" Xander says.
"Me and Faith" I say.
"Have you talked to Willow?"
"No, I haven't really had the chance since she told my mother about us."
"She told your Mom!"
"Yep. I spent hours looking for her all over town. I get home and Mom has Faith and I sit down for a little chat. Tells me Willow popped by and told her."
"And how did Joyce take it?"
"She is totally cool with it."
"Just so you know, I am too."
"Yeah and keep it to yourself just how okay you are with it."
He smiles creepily.
"And don't think of it in your head while sitting there talking to me." He stops smiling, busted!
"Are you going to talk to Willow?"
"She ain't allowed to until she calms down a little." Faith comes back with our drinks "Right now Buffy is still quite pissed off with our resident Wicca."
"As long as I don't get caught in the middle I don't care."
I pick up my drink and sip it. Faith and Xander talk Spiderman til the Dingoes come on. I get dragged to the dance floor and some how I don't think Oz is the only one putting on a show tonight.
Faith and I are out and damn she is proud!
So Willow decides to open a portal with an ex vengeance demon. That was fun, no seriously it was…NOT! I got to see what Willow would be like if she were to be turned and it kind of made me forget that I was mad at her. At first we all thought she had been turned and I hated that feeling. I thought I had lost my best friend before we got to make it right. Turns out Vamp Willow came from the alternate world that Cordelia had wished for a while back after she and Xander broke up. She somehow turned up here from that spell Will did aforementioned demon. All is good now but I still have disturbing images of our Willow in a very dominatrix leather suit and Vamp Willow offering her services to Faith and I in a not so subtle way. I still shiver at the thought of her.
"Thinking of uber Willow?" Comes from beside me.
"Yeah…my skin is crawling. She only touched me, she licked your face!"
"Nothin' a little Palmolive soap and a nice hot shower didn't fix."
"I know it was a couple of weeks ago but it still gives me the wiggins and then Willow being held hostage by the Mayor. It makes me realise that my friends put their lives on the line every day for me and for what?"
"To save the world babe. I don't know much about friends but I know Red and X-Man and they get it. They are here for the greater good and you know that you need them. Not just for the world save-age."
I turn onto my side and face her "You know that applies to you too right?"
"Goes without saying." She smiles at me.
"You think Bill and Ben will get anything out of those pages Willow found in the books?"
"Considering Allan marked them for her I am sure they are the ones we need."
"I don't even want to think about what the Mayor will do to him if he finds out how he has been helping us."
"Considering that vamp of the Mayors we dusted is dust. He kinda needs Allan and from what I am learning about Allan he is pretty smart. He is shit scared of the Mayor for sure but he knows what he is doing."
I turn back and face the TV. I lean back into Faith and she puts her arm around my waist.
"Just stop thinking for one night." She kisses my temple "Giles and Wes are on the case."
"Is that supposed to be comforting somehow? They fight worse than my Mom and Dad did before they got divorced."
She laughs softly "I am gonna hafta pull out the big guns aren't I?"
"I wouldn't call them big Faith…a decent handful and a half for sure but not big."
"Oh see if you get any now minx!" She starts tickling me.
"Faith no! No, no, no, no, no, no!"
This doesn't help at all, it just spurs her on and I am squealing loudly and hardly able to breathe.
"GIRLS!" I hear my Mom's voice.
Uh oh.
Faith immediately stops and sits up "Yes Mrs. Summers."
"I know that part of your slayer constitution doesn't involve much sleep but I do have to work to keep providing for your other constitution eating…food so I would appreciate it if you let me get some sleep before I have to be at work tomorrow."
"Sorry Mrs. Summers."
"Yeah sorry Mom."
She heads back upstairs "I am so glad I caught them fully clothed this time." She whispers but my hearing picks up on.
Faith looks at me "When did she catch us naked?"
I shrug my shoulders "Never want to know!"
I open my eyes. My head feels achy.
"Hey" I hear Faith say softly.
I blink a few times trying to focus my eyes.
I see her softly smiling at me.
"Hi" I say.
"How do you feel?"
"Achy head."
"Not surprised."
"I don't hear anymore thoughts." We had been patrolling a few nights earlier and I had managed to get infected with an aspect of an empath demon. I had been hearing thoughts for a couple of days. It started off slowly but increased to a point where it was just one big ball of noise in my head that I couldn't shut off.
"Good." She kisses my forehead "Good."
I snuggle into her "Thank you."
"For what?" Another kiss on my forehead.
"For saving me before I went crazy."
"Wasn't me, was Angel." She sorta stiffens in the hug.
"Oh."
"I wasn't leaving you for any money in the world. When I heard the cure I wanted to but you wouldn't let me. Kinda had a death grip on me so we had to call in Dead Boy." She relaxes again.
"Where is everyone?"
"Downstairs."
"I might just stay here for a bit. Too tired."
"No rush B."
Resting was good, hearing people's thoughts take a lot out of you. When I first woke up I didn't really remember much of what I had heard over the time I had the aspect but as I slowly started to feel better dribs and drabs came back to me.
The most disturbing part was remembering what my Mother had thought. My Mom and Giles. Giles and my Mom. Sex. On the hood of a police car. Twice.
I made the mistake of telling Faith and she was all with the giving Giles a high five. A gesture he and my mother weren't too impressed with.
Xander, Willow and I had found it a little amusing, okay a lot amusing and proceeded to make fun of him. I made him walk into a tree! Not before stopping Jonathon a geek from school kill himself. Although blonde Buffy thought he was going to kill all the students. I heard in my head someone say they were gonna kill all the students, long story short I passed out, I got cured, The Scooby's found a letter and I thought it was Jonathon. Turns out it was the lunch lady.
We totally kicked her ass!
I am getting the feeling that Faith is rubbing off on me more ways than one if ya know what I mean. See!
So up until now you would have thought that it was a pretty eventful year. Here is just a quick list of what I can remember:
1. Ran off to LA after having to send my undead boyfriend to
hell to save the world.
2. Came back to Sunnydale after I realised I couldn't run away
from all the bad things in my life. No matter where I was trouble
found me.
3. Was almost sent to an all girl's school before Snyder was
made to take me back.
4. Met a new slayer called Faith who was and still is a handful.
5. Undead boyfriend came back from hell.
6. Fell in love with Faith and in turn I became gay.
7. Had to tell the undead boyfriend about Faith. Wasn't that a
fun day.
8. Had a crazy watcher try and kill us.
9. Had best friends held captive by a crazy vampire Spike.
10. Undead boyfriend went crazy with visions of the first evil
and tried to incinerate himself. I had to stop that. Didn't Faith
love that! Spent our first Xmas with my ex.
11. Almost got burnt at the stake by my own mother.
12. Was stripped of my power and had yet another crazy vampire on
the loose. He tried to kill my mother.
13. Was outed to my mother by my best friend because she chucked
the shits with me not telling her about Faith and I.
14. Met the evil vampire twin of my best friend.
15. Found out the big evil was the nutty but adorable town Mayor.
16. Was threatened several times by the town mayor that he would
relish in killing Faith and I.
17. Was able to hear people's thoughts and the more I heard less
I could function. Was saved by my ex much to Faith's chagrin.
18. Aced my SAT's and was accepted to a few prestigious colleges
but decided to stay in Sunnydale.
19. My ex tells me he is leaving town once the battle with the
Mayor is done. Somehow I feel betrayed by him and end up crying in
Willow's lap.
20. Had to save the prom from hell hounds but it was totally worth
it cause I got a shiny prize and I got to dance with my cutie
patootie Faith.
So far I think that is about the it. The sitch with the Mayor is still on going. Allan has helped us as much as he can without the Mayor getting too suspicious. We are still waiting to find out when the whole thing is going down. I didn't put Wes on the list as he totally isn't list worthy. If I forgot anything I am sure I can be forgiven because come on how much more can I take in the space of like 8 months! Even a super powered girl like me?
I guess not nearly enough because while reading the morning paper the front page catches my eye.
Yes I read the paper.
Okay well not so much reading as leaning over Faith trying to distract her so I can get some smooches before school, getting pushed away and having to see what is more important than smooches from her hot girlfriend.
Seems a Professor has been murdered for no apparent reason. Faith seems to think the Mayor did it as the Professor could have known something about the Ascension or how to stop one. We take what we think to Giles and lo and behold the Mayor himself pays us a visit and Faith and I get threatened again. This time Faith isn't so gracious. She grabs the fencing sword Giles and Wes had been using earlier on and stabs him in the chest with it. Of course he being impervious to harm it does nothing apart from him telling Faith she needed more manners.
Giles wants us to go through the Professor's apartment and see what we can find. I am okay with that but before we do, we go to our place and I send Mom out of town. I do not want her anywhere near this son of a bitch.
And now we are going through the apartment.
I see blood pooled on the floor and paperwork we may need lying in it. I am not touching that!
"Baby I love that you are smart and all that but next time you see something in the paper that catches your eye. Ignore it" I say to Faith.
She comes over to me and sees the paper in the pool of blood "Hey we don't get to go out much these days and what says I love you more than a little Nancy Drewin' in some dead guys apartment."
"Oh be still my beating heart" I pull her against me "Just remember I like chocolate not blood."
"Ahh sarcasm, the language of every healthy relationship." She grins.
We kiss a few times and my hands slide to her well toned ass. She pulls back and looks at me and raises an eyebrow.
"What?" I ask.
"The blood is wigging you out but you can still kiss me and fondle my ass?"
"Have you seen your ass?"
"I do see your point." She grins and we kiss again.
I am about to slide my tongue into her mouth when a loud bang breaks us apart.
Angel is standing in the doorway. "I tripped." He says by way of explanation.
"Stealthy" Faith says and heads off looking for more clues.
"I checked in with Giles, he thought you may need back up."
"In case the mayor has this place wired?"
"I don't know Buffy, I just go where I am pointed."
"So who is pointing to LA?"
"We broke up, you moved on. What am I meant to do? Stay here like some love sick puppy and watch you have the live that I want to give you."
"You can't give me that life Angel."
"I know, it is why I am going."
I pick up the blood soaked paper and a few other things I found lying around and put them in a box that was sitting on the Professor's desk.
"What did you find?"
"Some excavation reports of an old lava bed. Seems the Professor studied volcanoes."
"Does it connect him to the Mayor?" Faith walks in.
"I understand the commas. Maybe you or Giles can make sense out of it."
"Maybe."
I head for the door.
"Here let me help you" Angel says taking the box from me.
We all leave. I can tell Faith is getting really, really pissed off.
"Angel, I think we have it from here" I say reaching for the box.
He pulls it out of my reach.
"Let me walk you there."
"We don't need an escort, we are big girls, and we have super powers. Stop crowding me."
"Crowding you? I didn't think I was."
"No of course you don't! You tell me you are going then you keep showing up, lurking in the shadows watching my every move, our every move. Then you disappear again like you weren't even there."
"So are you mad because I have been around or because I haven't been around?"
"Duh, Yes!" Man is he stupid.
"Which?" He asks.
"What?"
"I don't get you." He says.
"No you don't, not anymore."
"Are you making this harder to make it easier on yourself?"
"Stop with the brain teasers! Can't this be over with, done?"
"It isn't that simple. The Mayor…"
"I know world in peril and for some reason we have to work together. Office romances never work."
"I'll get out of your face." He drops the box at my feet and Faith picks it up.
Faith oh shit. Faith was with me, she saw all that. Heard all that.
"I should get this back to the library." She has tears in her eyes.
As I am about to say something I hear a whooshing sound and see an arrow piece Angel just above his heart and him fall to the ground.
As much as she doesn't want to Faith helps me get Angel and the box back to the library.
Giles helps me get Angel in to a chair.
I grasp the arrow "Okay on the count of three."
Angel nods.
"One" I yank out the arrow.
"I knew you were gonna do that."
Giles inspects the wound "Doesn't seem to be too much blood loss."
"I heal fast."
"Good thing whoever it was has sucky aim."
Wesley and Faith are discussing what was in the box Giles and I bandage up Angel.
He gets up and stumbles again.
"You are such a klutz today."
"Damn." He says falling to the ground.
Faith comes over and sniffs the tip of the arrow "It's poison."
"We need to get him back to his place before dawn. Call the others get them on this right away" Giles says to Faith and I.
"B you go with Giles, I'll call Red and Xander."
"Are you sure? I can send Wes with Giles."
"He will need someone strong in case anything happens plus Wes can help me more with the poisons and this information we got earlier."
Ouch! I guess I do kind of deserve it though.
"I uh, don't you…"
"Go B, Giles is right he needs to be out of harms way before the sun comes up. You got like 20 minutes to get him across town in that rust bucket of Giles'."
"I don't wanna leave you here to do it all by yourself."
"Lifetime of practise B, you gotta go."
She turns her back on me.
"Buffy come on" Giles says softly.
I help him with Angel and we get him back to the mansion in time. I have to put him to bed while Giles gets a cold compress and water. I stay with him until Wes comes bearing bad news. The council won't help us. Wesley won't help either. He tried to tell me that the Mayor is trying to distract us from the Ascension and I tell him I don't care. That I can't let Angel die. He is on our side and we need him. He wouldn't listen so I quit. Told him he wasn't part of my new plan.
I tell Giles I am going to check on the others and to call me if there is any change.
I find them all in the science lab at school.
"Any change?" Willow asks as I walk in.
"Nope he is still poisoned and I quit the council."
"What?" Says Faith.
"They wouldn't help cure Angel, so I quit."
"Well to be fair to Wes, it aint really the council's job to save vampires B. They employ us to get rid of them."
"Angel is different."
"Right well the poison wasn't that hard to find" Willow says "Roughly translated it means killer of the dead. It's used on vampires."
"Is there a cure?"
"There aren't a lot of instances of it being cured."
"But there are some?"
"One or two but the accounts are pretty vague."
"Hang on I think I found something" Oz says.
"Yeah."
"I'm not sure."
"Be sure."
He reads for a bit "Okay, Killer of the Dead. That's our boy, and here is the vampire that walked away from it."
"The cure?" Willow asks.
"Damn." He curses.
"Nothing?"
"No it is here."
Willow goes over and reads over his shoulder "Oh No."
"What?" I say.
"Come on guys the suspense is killing Angel."
I hear Faith chuckle at Xander's comment.
"The only way to cure him is to drain the blood of a slayer."
The room is quiet.
"Good" I say.
"Good? Something we miss Buff?" Xander asks.
"Angel needs to drain a slayer."
"You better not be saying what I think you are saying B. He drains you, you are dead!"
"He doesn't need to drain me. He can partly drain two."
"Are you fucking serious?" She says to me.
"Deadly."
"No way. I am not giving a Vampire open slather to kill me."
"He won't. He can drink from me then he can drink from you. We will be fine."
"You really think that we will be fine? What if he gets carried away Buffy. He hasn't drunk from a human in a long time."
"He won't get carried away."
"I am not going to be stupid enough to find out."
"Fine, I will go by myself. I can't let him die."
I run out of the library and all the way to the mansion. I send Giles back to the library tell him he is needed there for something. If I tell him what I am going to do there is no way he will let me do it.
Angel also puts up a struggle until I punch him a few times. I close my eyes as he sinks his teeth into my neck. The last thing I see is Faith.
I open my eyes after a strange dream with Faith. She was talking about Little Miss Muffet and counting down from 7-3-0. She was bleeding from her neck for a split second and then told me to use his human weakness then she kissed me and told me I had to wake up.
I sat up slowly and saw my clothes on the chair next to my bed. I put them on and head out of the room. I see Giles, Willow and Xander waiting for me.
"Where's Faith?" I ask.
"Uh, Angel fed from her too, she isn't awake yet."
"What?"
"After you left, she went after you. I saw her on my way out and she told me what you were going to do. When we got there he was drinking from you. More than what he needed as he was cured. She had to fight him to get him off you. While I tended to you I didn't notice that he had grabbed her and was feeding from her as well. By the time I got him off her she too was passed out."
"Where is she?"
"Room next to yours."
I ran back down the hall. I rushed in to see her sitting in the bed looking confused.
"Are you okay?"
"What do you care?"
"Hey! Of course I care" I go up to the bed.
"That son of a bitch wouldn't let you go."
"I'm sorry."
"So am I."
"You don't have to be sorry."
"Angel isn't the only one leaving after the Ascension. Provided we survive I am going to go back to Boston."
"Faith, NO!"
"Look it has been fun and all but the last 24 hours has opened my eyes. I talked to Gram while you were swooning over Angel and I am heading home."
"You can't go. I love you."
"You love Angel, now would you mind leaving so I can get dressed."
"Faith, you can't go and I don't love Angel. I love you, I love you!"
"Yeah well I don't love you."
"You don't mean that" I cry.
"I do now get the fuck out of my room." She snaps at me.
Disclaimer: They are all Joss Whedons but Grams, Jeffrey and Esme are all mine, mine, mine!
After we left the hospital Angel came by to check on us and I went off at him. I know what I did was my choice and I was okay with that but I was so angry that he hurt Faith and I was not okay with that. I told him to go right away that I didn't want or need him for this battle. So he left. Faith had seen the exchange and told me that if it was for her benefit it was a waste of time. She was going and nothing anyone said or did would change her mind. I planned on trying any way.
It was a hell of a battle. We got the whole graduating class in on the act. They had weapons hidden under their gowns and we had the whole battle planned out from beginning to end. He turned into a giant snake. Ew, I hate serpent demons. I used his wife and Allan against him. Dream Faith was right, he followed me straight into the library where we blew the mother fucker to pieces.
So we won. Yippee right? Wrong. Faith was true to her word she left. I think the high school was still on fire as she took off from the airport. I was standing there looking at the fire when Giles came up to me to see if I was okay and I told him I wanted to see Faith but he told me she had gone. She had organised the second wave of freshmen and juniors to fight and left just before we blew good old Dick up.
He drove me home and I just collapsed in the door way. When Mom came home the next day that is where she found me.
She couldn't make any sense out of me but all she had to do was walk in to Faith's room to see.
That is where I am now. I am lying on her bed curled up around her pillows. I'm not crying anymore, I ran out of tears hours ago.
"Buffy, sweetie, Do you want some lunch?" Mom comes in and sits on the bed.
"No thank you."
"You need to eat. You haven't left this room in 3 days."
I don't answer I just lay there breathing in what is left of her scent.
"Willow is here to fill in your class schedules for first semester of college."
"I'm not going, tell her she can go home."
"Buffy."
My tear stocks are replenished "Please Mom just leave me alone" I say and let the heart wrenching sobs out.
"I'll make you a sandwich and leave it by the door okay sweetie."
I hear her leave the room.
I have been replaying scenes in my head of things I could have done differently with Faith and it all comes back to one moment. The fight with Angel outside Professor Wirth's apartment. Stupid Buffy, stupid, stupid, stupid. I play it in my head over and over and each time I think maybe if I did this or what if I said this but like Faith said what if's do nothing. Doesn't change a fucking thing. As much as this sucks at least I know now just how much I love her, how much I need her then I remember she won't talk to me. Won't answer my calls. If I could sit up long enough I would write her an email but I don't know if she has an address. I could rely on old fashioned mail but again no address. So here I am stuck in my sadness feeling so fucking stupid because I did it to myself.
I can feel myself being shaken but I push the hand away. Dream land is being kind to me. I am in Faith's arms and we are happy and we are us again.
"Buffy you have to wake up."
"Willow leave me alone."
"Sorry Buff, no can do. You have done enough self pitying for the rest of time you need to get up and start well showering for one thing. You are still in the clothes we fought the mayor in and you are really starting to get ripe."
"No."
"Okay you leave me no choice but to resolve face you."
"My eyes are closed!"
"Don't mock the resolve face missy. I am doing the face and telling you that you need to get up. That you need to get up and start acting like a human being again."
"I don't feel like a human being."
"Explains the smell."
"Shut up Xander!" I say.
"Xander wait down stairs, please." She asks him.
"Fine don't blame me though if she chokes you to death and I am not here to save you."
I hear retreating footsteps.
"Buffy Anne Summers you need to get over yourself. What you did to Faith was inexcusable. She opened up to you and trusted you and you threw it all back in her face."
I sit up "I know! I don't need to relive it again Will. It is all I see."
"Don't interrupt! Look I know I wasn't a fan of hers to start off with, til most recently actually but someone who made my best friend that happy deserved a little more from me. We hung out a bit and she is an amazing girl Buffy and you need to get her back."
"She won't talk to me."
"Well she is talking to me. So get up, have a shower because I know they won't let you fly smelling like that. Get changed and pack a bag. You are going to Boston to get her back."
"What?"
"I was there for the whole Angel thing that was nothing compared to this. Mainly because Faith didn't try to kill us all but honestly Buffy you are meant to be with her forever so you are going to Boston and you are going to bring her back here where she belongs."
"Will I don't know if I can."
"I know you can Buffy. She won't be welcoming at first but she loves you and she will listen to you…eventually."
"Gee thanks for the encouragement."
"You want me to blow wind up your skirt? It's gonna be hard and you are gonna have to fight for her. No matter what you need to show her that you are willing to do absolutely anything to get her back."
"Do you know where she is?"
"You think I am sending you on a wild goose chase? Of course I know where she is. Don't worry about a thing. When you get to the airport you will have someone there to meet you. They will take you to Faith's. The rest is up to you."
"Who is going to meet me?"
"I've done my bit. Told you what you need to know. The rest is up to you."
"Will."
"I know you are scared but you know you need to do this. You need to make it right."
"Okay, okay…when do I leave?"
"You have about an hour before we have to have you on your way to the airport."
"Okay. So who is meeting me at the airport?"
"Go shower. Your Mom has your ticket and she knows what to do. Now you just have to do what you have to do."
"Thanks Willow."
"Hey it is what best friends are for."
I move to hug her and she steps back.
"Maybe if I am still here after you shower, Okay?" She smiles at me I nod and get my ass in to gear.
So hear I am in Boston, well the airport part of it anyway. I have people milling around me some seem to know where they are going so they go. There are others around me in the midst of reunions, tears, laughter, squeals of joy. Me I am trying to figure out where to go. Is the person waiting for me here or at baggage claim?
"Buffy?" I hear in a soft Irish accent.
I turn and see an older woman coming towards me. She is plump and jolly looking. Like Mrs. Claus but stylish.
"Are you Buffy?" She asks me.
"Yes, I am. Hi" I extend my hand.
"Oh my Granddaughter sure picks em pretty." She smiles at me and pulls me into a hug.
"Mrs. LeHane?" I hug back.
"Yes dear please just call me Grams." She pulls back and looks me up and down hugs me again then looks at me again. "Now when Faith told me you were gorgeous I thought she was just skitin' but I see now she was tellin' the truth."
I feel my blush rise.
"No need to be bashful dear"
"How is she?"
"You did a number on her let me tell ya kiddo. She has hardly left the house since she got back. She has moped, she has cried, she has yelled, she has gotten wasted. She is a piss ass mess."
"I – I – I really am so-sorry" I can feel tears again.
"Don't be sayin' sorry to me Buffy, save it for Faith. You are gonna need all the sorry's you got and then some."
"I know. I am prepared to do anything to get her back."
"Good to hear."
We head off to baggage claim to get my bag and then we head off to I guess her car. We step outside and a nicely dressed man comes up to me.
"Hello Ms. Summers. I am Jeffrey and I will be driving you and Mrs. LeHane today. May I take your bag?"
"Uh yes, thank you."
He takes it from me and puts in the boot of this huge grey SUV that is waiting by the kerb.
He opens the door and I let Grams get in, then I follow. I have a feeling the ride is going to be unpleasant but it isn't. The whole time she chats away. She asks about how I met Faith and hoped that when she killed that bastard vamp Kakistos she didn't spare him any mercy. Her words not mine.
I am fascinated by this woman. She talks just like Faith only with an accent, has the same eyes as hers and I just know she has the same wicked sense of humour.
"You know my Faith has grown up so much since I saw her last. She is a really beautiful young woman now. Well I am sure she would be if she didn't have bloodshot eyes from the drinking and the dark grey circles under them from lack of sleep."
Oh yeah just like Faith. She calls it hows she sees it. Plus I did kinda break her granddaughter's heart.
I reach in to my purse and pull out a small photo album.
"I have some photos if you would like to see them" I offer her the book.
"Aye, I would like to see them." She takes the book out of my hand and opens it up.
The first photo is of Faith and I at the beach. She is giving me a piggy back. She has on these ridiculous over sized sunglasses, like when I say over sized I mean like twice the size of her head.
"Oh this is before we began dating. It was a couple of days after we fought Kakistos and she said she had never been to the west coast before so we took her to the beach. It was a great day."
She flicked through it. Most of them were of Faith and I but there were a few of her with my Mom and a couple with Xander and Willow. There was this group one of us from the prom that had Giles, Willow, Oz, Xander and Anya in it with us.
"Oh my, you are all a pretty bunch." She says.
I point everyone out to her.
"You aren't looking at the camera." She says to me.
"No, the whole night I couldn't tear my eyes away from Faith. She was so amazing that night. We had a huge battle looming, we didn't know when it was or if we would even survive and to top it off some bitter high school student unleashed hell hounds on the prom. It was the one thing we all had before we had to fight this Ascension and she made sure it was perfect for all of us, not just me. I think I fell in love with her about a billion times over that night. She always, always surprised me. Was always there for me. And I blew it during a stupid fight with my ex. I had everything I wanted in Faith and I lost it in 30 seconds."
"Here." She handed me a handkerchief.
"Thanks" I wiped my eyes.
"Almost home." She says and points out the window.
"Holy Shit" I said as we went down the driveway.
This wasn't a house, it was like a…a…a, you could fit Angel's mansion into 20 times over and still have room for a couple of versions of my house.
The lawns were just like you see in the movies, all perfectly mowed and the greenest green you can imagine. It had the cobblestone driveway that made that awesome sound when you drove over it. There was no ostentatious fountain in the centre of the driveway like all these kinds of houses seem to have but there was an 8 door garage that we parked in front of.
"Faith grew up here?"
"Aye she did. She was born here actually. Of course she doesn't remember much about that. She spent her first year here before my son and that whore of a wife of his moved right in to Boston to be closer to work. She came back to me when she was almost 10."
Jeffrey came and opened the door and we got out.
"I will take care of your bag Ms. Summers."
"Thanks and call me Buffy."
"Will do Buffy." He smiles at me.
Grams lead me inside. The place is amazing. Very what I would imagine Buckingham to be like in some places and very modern in some other places.
"I don't like all the hoity toity bullshit. Some of these things have been in the family for generations. I prefer the newer stuff so I put mainly all the stuffy shite together in the main drawing room and the rest of the house is fairly normal so people actually know human beings live here."
"It is beautiful."
"I wanted to get rid of all that crap in there." She signals to the drawing room "but her Grandfather would have me guts for garters. He'd come back from the dead just to tell me off. He was a traditionalist."
"Is it just you?"
"No, Jeffery has lived here ever since he started working for us 27 years ago. Our maid Esme also lives here has done so for 40 years. She is like that furniture in there only she swears like a sailor once you get a couple of nips of gin into her. Great gal. More like a friend than a maid." She smiles at me "A few of my grandsons, Faith's cousins are here from time to time. They like to impress the women with the impressive acreage we have here."
"Is Faith here?"
"She didn't want her old room so I set her up out in the pool house. She has her own entrance and exit there."
"Would you mind if I went to see if she was there?"
"Not at all. She's stubborn so if I don't see ya again it was very lovely to meet ya." She says with a small chuckle.
"Thank you."
She pulls me into a hug. I hold onto her for all I am worth.
"Be patient Blondie." She says and releases me.
I take a few deep breaths and head off to my impending doom..
Note: Now I have to confess that part of this was stolen from a Zach Braff movie I saw recently. No dialogue or anything like that just an idea that I thought was incredibly romantic and stupid and funny. It is just the premise of what Buffy is doing that I borrowed. The words, the feeling, Raoul, the Horse and the pig are all me!
So here I am. I am standing at the door to the pool house. The blinds are all drawn on the French Doors. I am kinda glad about that because it means she can't see me.
I knock on the door and take a few steps back. I wait a good 30 seconds before she opens the door. She has the sheet wrapped around her and her hair is a mess and her eyes are half closed.
I don't know what to say.
"Get fucked." She slams the door.
Okay well I guess she does.
I knock again "Faith please, let me in."
"No."
"We need to talk."
"We don't need to do sweet fuck all, we broke up."
"No we didn't you just told me you were leaving and didn't give me a choice in the matter."
"I know you are blonde B but come on. When someone leaves town that is a big hint that things are over between you."
"Why won't you listen to me?"
"I heard everything you had to say loud and clear a week ago."
"I was angry at him, not you. I didn't mean what I said about office romances and I am sorry that I asked you to let him drain you."
"It's not even about that Buffy."
"Faith please open the door and let me in so we can talk."
"Just go, stop wasting my time."
"I am not going anywhere until you talk to me."
She doesn't answer.
I move and sit on the door step. I refuse to cry, if I do it will just add fuel to the fire. She will think that I am trying to guilt her in to talking to me and I don't want to create more hurdles that I will have jump when she eventually, hopefully decides to talk to me.
Okay I really didn't think about this too well, if I did I would have brought a pillow and some water. My ass is numb and my throat is dry and I am entering my 7th hour of waiting for her to talk to me. I have sat in every position possible, rested against the door and the wall, laid down at times as well. She would peek out every now and then. She was playing some kind of video game at the moment I could hear the squeal of tyres and gun shots and her occasionally swearing at the TV or the controls.
The one thing I am scared of is that she will go out and then come back in the early hours of the morning with some skank or even some jock and they would fuck each other stupid. If that happens then I know there is nothing I can do. I will head back to Sunnydale with my tail between my legs.
Books! I could have brought a book with me to read. Actually a blanket also would have been a good idea because I am freezing. It is supposed to be summer…what the hell!
I am not going to budge though, I will prove my point, we will talk, we will make up and we will go back to Sunnydale together. I don't care if I lose all my fingers and toes to hypothermia. I am getting my girl back.
Okay 4 pep talks and another 5 hours later I am starting to lose faith. Pardon the pun but I am. It is almost 3am and nothing. She hasn't bothered to look out to see I am still here since about 11pm. I am holding on to the fact that she hasn't left. Unless there is a back door then I really am an idiot.
Next thing I know it is morning and there is I think a Spanish man looking at me.
It startles me and I scream a little and jump back.
"Sorry, sorry." He waves his hands at me.
"It's okay, sorry I screamed."
"You wait for Miss Faith?"
"Yes, I am waiting for her."
"I have a key I let you in?"
"No, I will wait here for her." Not taking the easy way out either.
"It okay I can open." He unlocks the door and goes in "See I open, you come in."
"No, I have to wait here."
"Raoul, what the fuck are you doing?" I hear her say her voice all scratchy and loud.
"There is lady out here, she say she wait for you. I think you out so I open door to let her in but she won't come in. Then you yell at me…I confused."
She is in the doorway in a flash. She has my pink satin boxers and a white wife beater on "You got him to open the door?"
"No, I told him not to. I told him I was waiting for you and I will wait for you here."
"Can I go Miss Faith?"
"Yeah Raoul you can go."
"I very sorry." He says to her as he walks out.
"Don't worry about it." She shuts the door.
Raoul looks at me and looks at the door, he looks at me again then knocks on the door "Miss Faith?"
I hear footsteps and the door opens again "Yes Raoul?"
"Do you not see lady here waiting for you?" He gestures towards me. She sticks her head out and looks around.
"Don't see a thing Raoul." She closes the door again.
Poor Raoul. He doesn't know what to do. He is again looking between me and the door.
"She is mad at me" I say.
"Oh, who you?"
I stand up and extend my hand "Sorry, I am Buffy."
"Huh?"
"Buffy."
"Oh, si, si Buffy." He shakes my hand "Why Miss Faith mad at you?"
"I said some stupid things, asked her to do quite a stupid thing. I almost got her killed."
"No wonder she pissed off. Miss Faith doesn't like being killed."
I smile "No she doesn't. Look I am sorry she yelled at you because of me."
"It okay, every body yell at Raoul." He starts to walk off "I see you later Miss Buffy."
"You will Raoul."
I don't think I want to sit down again. My feet must have been asleep when I stood up because I currently have pins and needles in them and I am not moving for any money in the world. It fucking hurts moving your limbs when they have pins and needles.
I hear the door open to my right. I am hoping she is letting me in. Nope she is locking up. She has on workout clothes, which is a relief. Her hair is pulled back and I can see that gorgeous neck of hers…I also see Angel's mark.
I reach out and touch it.
"I am sorry, I am so sorry he hurt you. That I let him hurt you."
She looks at me with such sad eyes "Not as sorry as I am that I let you hurt me."
I pull my hand back.
"Just go Buffy."
"I am not giving up. I am not leaving here without you."
"I have no problem in kicking your ass. I will beat you up."
"Do it, do it Faith. It can't be any worse than the way I am beating myself up already."
"Don't even try that self pity bullshit on me."
"It isn't self pity, it's the truth."
"Would you please just go? If my Grams sees you here she is going to kick my ass."
"She picked me up from the airport Faith."
Uh oh sorry Grams now she is pissed at you too.
"Unfuckenbelieveable, unfuckenbelieveable." She storms off.
I think I have just reached the 24 hour mark of my quest to get back Faith. It may be longer, who knows I can barely read the time on my watch. I haven't had anything to eat or drink since the plane so I could be a little delirious at this point in time. I will have to ask that green horse that just went by with the purple pig if they know the time.
"Miss Buffy" I was shaken.
"Hey Raooooooul" I smile.
"Miss Buffy, Miss Esme told me to bring you this." He is holding a tray in front of him.
"What is it?"
"Bottle of water and sandwich. Miss Esme makes great PB & J."
"Thanks Raoul. Have you seen Faith?"
"Yes she go out with Mr. Thomas."
"Who is Mr. Thomas?"
"He is her Uncle, he comes by every day to see how she is."
I open the bottle of water and drink the whole thing all at once.
"I think she is going to stay with him for a few days. She had a bag with her when she go."
"Okay, thanks Raoul. Thank Esme for me."
"You not going to go?"
"No. I told her I would wait for her here and wait I will."
"You are crazy Miss Buffy."
"I know Raoul, I know."
He walks off shaking his head.
I munch on the sandwich that is still on the tray, it is good PB & J.
Okay just how long do you have to sit at someone's door to certify you as crazy? So far it has been nearly 48 hours. Raoul brought me dinner last night, my breakfast and lunch today and if my calculations are correct he should be by with dinner in 20 minutes.
Grams came out after that delicious PB & J yesterday and gave me a pillow and a blanket. I am too scared to use them though. I don't want them to think I am weak. Sure I ate the food but I want to make a point I don't want to die.
Then again maybe I do, I can't think of anything worse than leaving here without Faith. Going back to Sunnydale a loser. I am sure she and Mr. Thomas are sitting inside laughing heartily about the stupid blonde sitting outside.
Great, just great. It's raining, not nice little droplets, and a nice soft start to the rain. No it is pouring, absofreakenlutely pouring.
I get that I am being punished, hell I am prepared to do some of the punishing myself but this, this is just totally and utterly taking the piss. I think I will cry now though. At least they will think it is rain if someone catches me.
I look over at the house. I can see lights on in there and a shadow by one of the curtains. It's Faith, I know it. I feel it. I will her to come out and put me out of my misery. "Just talk to me Faith please just fucking talk to me" I say to the shadow.
The shadow stays there not moving not doing anything. The curtain gets pulled back, the shadow is a lamp. Good one Buffy, way to go on that whole slayer connection thing. Grams is there watching me, I watch her call someone over.
What am I some kind of fucking sideshow attraction now?
There is a man standing there beside her, he has the tiniest of grins on his face. I am so glad that I can be a source of entertainment for them all. I move so I am facing the pool house. I already wanted to cry without them watching me.
I am so beyond soaked right now that I don't even care that the last 3 inches of me that were dry from resting my back against the wall are now just as soaked as the rest of me is.
I am not going to give up, I am not going to give up, I am not going to give up, I am not going to give up, I am not going to give up, I am not going to give up.
Note: This one is kinda short and maybe sweet. I couldnt go to bed and leave it where I left it.
Okay now Faith and the whole fucking LeHane family are taking it way too far. Raoul has just brought me breakfast. I threw it back at him and told him to get fucked. I didn't do it to his face of course. I waited until he was gone. It wasn't his fault, I wasn't mad at him. It had rained all night and while I could have gotten up and left at any time I didn't. They didn't offer me dinner, they didn't offer me shelter and I am pretty sure that if I turned around I would have seen Grams and all her neighbours standing in the window mocking me, making fun of me, laughing at me, making up silly little jokes about just how blonde I am. And last night I didn't care because I was proving a point.
Now I am beyond tired, I am beyond sore, and I am beyond crazy. I am fucking beyond trying to prove a fucking point. Any second now I am going to get up and walk out of this place. I don't care that my bags are inside, I don't care that all my money is in there too along with my return ticket. I just want to walk out of this place and into oncoming traffic. It isn't even about losing Faith anymore. It is about losing my dignity and my pride both of which I was more than willing to give up to prove to Faith that I love her. All that has happened here is that she proved she didn't love me.
I figure I deserved her leaving me, and I deserved the cold shoulder. Reverse the roles yeah I would have been pissed too but I don't think I would have been able to watch Faith sit there in the cold, watch her sit in the rain, I would never allow my family to make a spectacle of her either.
I slowly stand up, I haven't moved in over 12 hours so I am a little stiff and a little unsteady. I rest my hands against the wall in front of me and wait until I compose myself. I take a few deep breaths.
"Okay Buffy, you made a fool of yourself. You entertained the family but she doesn't love you, probably never did." I feel the tears again "Damn it."
"You didn't hafta break the fucken china B."
I turn and see Faith kneeling picking up bits of broken china and scattered bits of toast and fruit.
"Well be sure to apologise to Grams for me. Won't be able to do it myself, I am heading off."
"Finally given up huh?"
"Yeah, I get it now. I said one stupid thing that I didn't even mean. I asked you to let a vampire bite you. Hell I even abandoned our first Christmas together to save him. It wasn't because I loved him more than you, I wasn't still hung up on him. I just couldn't give up on him, for some reason I always have to be the one that saves every one. Then he almost killed you and I saw that he wasn't worth it. Sometimes it takes something that drastic to make you realise what you have. I am not proud that it took something like that to make me realise just how much I did love you. All I have are apologies to give you for what I did, how I treated you. I sat here for nearly 3 days straight to try and show you and even that wasn't enough. All it showed me was that you really don't love me. That I wasted a lot of people's time."
She doesn't say anything.
"I didn't want to give up, I didn't want to be the one that caved in. I thought that if I did it meant I didn't love you and that you would think I didn't love you. Sitting here in the cold, the heat, the rain I realised it wasn't giving up. It was just facing facts. Yeah I screwed up, yeah I did the wrong things, I took my time in waking up to myself but I did everything I could to make it up to you. Facts are you don't want to be with me, you don't want me to make anything up to you. Facts are you want me to go and just leave you alone. So I will. Tail between my legs off I go back to Sunnydale. No more apologies, no more speeches."
I head towards her. I have to if I want to leave.
I calmly walk past her and make my way towards the front of the house. I just want to collapse in a heap and cry but I can't. I won't do it here where they may see me, where they may hear me. My legs are still a little shaky and my stomach is rumbling and my throat is screaming for some water but I keep my eyes focused ahead of me. I make it to the front of the house, then I make it to the end of the driveway, I walk out the gates and head off down the street. I am in the middle of fucking nowhere but I refuse to let my eyes move. I am not going to look back, I am not going to look back.
"Buffy…Buffy…BUFFY."
I stop walking. I can see I haven't made it that far from Casa De LeHane I may have walked out the front gate but the width of the property must be going on for days. Well 100's of metres anyway. I know it was Faith calling me but I am not going to look back. This feels like such a daytime soap already and I refuse to do the look back thing. Resolve face.
I start to walk again.
"Buffy please, stop."
"I'm not looking back" I say softly.
"Just wait." She is standing in front of me.
"For how long, 2 minutes, 20 minutes, a couple of days?"
"Hey I didn't ask you to sit out there."
I don't say anything…I think I finally talked myself out.
"Where are you going?"
Again I don't say anything. I do raise my eyebrows though.
"Right Sunnydale…you said that before."
"That all can I get going now?"
"How will you get there?"
"I'll call Mom when I get in to town. She will know what to do."
"Where is all your stuff?"
"Jeffrey took it from me when I arrived."
"Come back to the house, we can get your stuff and I will take you to the airport."
"No thanks, I'd rather walk in to town and call my mother reverse charges."
"Don't make this hard."
"I'm sorry which part of this is supposed to be easy?"
"I don't want you to go."
"Sorry Faith but I had my fill of sitting outside in the elements. I know I am an idiot I don't need to keep proving it."
"You don't have to sit outside, when I came out I was actually on my way to see you. To talk to you."
"I don't want to talk anymore I ju-"
"Oh so you get to say it all then just fuck off. It doesn't work like that Buffy."
"If you let me finish, I was going to say I just want to listen to what you have to say."
"You could have given me a chance back there!"
"I did dumb ass, you just stood there."
She doesn't say anything we just stand there on the side of the road looking at each other.
She moves towards me and takes my hand.
"Just follow me."
And I do.
...continued in part 11...