Play it Again...Again
by Slayer Tash
Rating: NC-17
Notes: Short and Sweet I know but I had this idea and I wanted to get it out. I promise it will be the last of the Kelly Clarkson for now....
"This has to be the most amazing experience I have ever had" I say nuzzling Faith's neck.
"I did good then?" She asks running her hands up and down my back.
"You did better than good, this was…exciting, phenomenal, extraordinary, spectacular, brilliant, marvellous, incredible…highly impressive to say the least."
"I did good" She smiles at me.
"You can't fool me, she even had you singing along. I don't know who belted out the chorus to Behind These Hazel Eyes louder you or her."
"I gotta say Clarkson surprised me. I got us tickets so I could get in to your pants."
"Well it is gonna work" I give her a quick kiss then turn so my back is to her. The crowd is kind of thinning out but there are a few people hanging around trying to get stuff from the stage crew from stage.
"Hang here for just a sec okay?" She says to me then runs over to the stage.
She is gonna try and get me something…Do I really want a used water bottle?
Hang on she is talking to 2 of the security guys. They do this little handshake thing and chat. She points over to me then continues talking to them for a few seconds.
"B!" She calls me over to her.
I walk over to her.
"This is Bear and G-Mac I know them from the old days in Boston. They are gonna take us back stage."
"Uh they are? For what?"
"To meet Kelly you dope."
"What?"
"I have had to listen to this album for a fucken year, you withhold if I don't let you play it, we are gonna meet the only girl that gets between us."
I am going to meet Kelly Clarkson…oh my god. OH MY GOD!
Just be cool, just be cool. I AM GOING TO MEET KELLY CLARKSON!
"Oh okay, sure no problems."
She jumps the barricade then helps me over she introduces me properly to Bear and G-Mac and we make our way back stage.
I am so ready to jump out of my skin as we start walking down the hall and I see band members kinda just standing and talking in the hallway.
"Just hang here for a sec" Bear says before going in to a room with G- Mac.
I turn to talk to Faith but she is standing talking to the bass player and drummer.
Kelly Clarkson is on the other side of that door, Kelly Clarkson is on the other side of that door.
The door opens and Kelly's best friend Ashley who I totally recognise from the Breakaway film clip walks out "Hey" she smiles at me.
"Hey."
She heads of down the hall. I watch her head past Faith and the band. Faith sees me and tells me to turn around, which I do.
OH MY GOD! Bear is there with Kelly.
"Hey you must be Buffy" Kelly says walking up to me and giving me a hug.
"Uh yeah Hi" I hug back.
She is tiny, like put her in your pocket and carry her around with you tiny.
"I'm Kelly" she says.
"Yeah I know" Oh what a stupid thing to say.
"Bear tells me you are a friend of his" She says ignoring my stupidity.
"Well kinda by association. My girlfriend Faith knows him, she is the one that got me tickets to tonight. I mean I was uh kind of sick when the tour went on sale and it was sold out and I was upset that I couldn't come see you but she got the tickets and I already said that I am so sorry."
"He told me you were sick" She runs her hand up and down my arm "I hope you are feeling better."
"I am getting there. I think I will be able to survive on the adrenalin from tonight for the rest of my life."
"You had fun?"
"I did, you are amazing. Just so…wow, like totally blew me away wow."
"I am glad you had fun tonight. I have to do a few official things for the record company and my fan club in the green room so do you and Faith wanna join us and we can talk more if you like when I am done."
If I like…oh let me think about that "YES!" I say a little too eagerly. I am such a tool!
She laughs "Okay well lets go" She links her arm with mine and we make our way back down the hall way to where we have to go.
I think I am going to pass out.
"Well look at this, if it isn't the close and personal friend of Kelly Clarkson Miss Buffy Summers" Ralph says as I walk in to the academy.
"Hey Ralph."
"How was Atlantic City?"
"Fantastic. We had a great weekend. No patrol for Faith, no therapy for me. The only fight I had to stop was Faith punching Kelly when she put her hand on my arm while we talking about Friends."
"Oooh do tell" He says.
I go over and lean on the counter "Well she knew two of Kelly's security guys and they got us back stage. I met Kelly and we had a quick chat but she said for us to stick around while she did her official stuff then we would talk more. So we stuck around and Faith and two of the band members decided they were going to gamble at the casino we were both staying at. So we all decide to go and there was a club in the casino that had a private game of poker going. Faith and the two dudes decide to play and Kelly, her friend Ashley and her brother get a table by the game to just talk, hang out, whatever. So of course the longer the night goes on the more whiskey Faith has and the more the rest of us talk. Kelly mentions she has a tour bus that she travels on between cities and it is rare for her to actually stay in the hotels they book for her. I ask her what she does instead and she talks about the DVD's she watches…we get on this huge discussion about Friends and try to out quote each other. We were having a great time and I don't know why Faith chose this moment to blow her stack because it wasn't the first time during the night Kelly touched me. I mean she gave me a piggyback to the table because my leg was aching and Faith thought it was hilarious. I think mainly because Kelly misjudged how much room she had to actually get me up the stairs and hit my head on something that was part of the ceiling."
"So did she hit Kelly?"
"No. She did give her a little scare though."
"God could you imagine if she did hit her. She would have to sing Behind These Black Eyes instead."
"Yeah that would have been a fun law suit."
"So tell me about the almost fight."
"I thought she was still playing, I had no idea she had come over to our table. I said something about Chandler and Kelly was in agreement and put her hand on my arm and then Faith pipes up and tells her to keep her hands to herself. Kelly apologises and takes her hand off my arm and Faith just keeps going. How dare you touch my girl…you fucken stars think that you can have whatever you want regardless of who it belongs to."
"Oh she didn't."
"She did. Kelly tries to explain that we were just talking and that Faith has nothing to worry about because she isn't gay."
"That isn't the end of the story though is it?"
"Nope. She then thinks Kelly has something against gay people, asks her if she thinks she is better than us because she is straight. At this point in time I am totally dying of embarrassment. I intervene and tell Faith that nothing was going on and that we were having a friendly conversation. She tells me to stop defending her and tried to push me out of the way to get to Kelly but she kind of stops."
"Security?"
"No she passed out. It was the funniest thing I think I have ever seen. She was all pro active going to kick someone's ass then she is out like a light in the booth we were sitting in."
He laughs.
"She was so apologetic the next morning. She actually caught up with Kelly before they headed off and apologised."
"Did she apologise to you?"
"Yeah but I thanked her for the best night I have had in a very long time."
"What was Kelly like?"
"In concert, perfect. In real life, really cool. I thought I would be really nervous and I was for like 30 seconds but she put me totally at ease. Very easy to talk to that is for sure, really unaffected by all the fame that goes on around her as well."
"You going to catch up again anytime soon?"
"I don't know. We told her about the academy but left out the demon part and she said next time she is in New York she may drop in to have a look."
"I hope she does."
"I doubt it, while she apologised to her I think Faith has scared her off for sure!"
"So superstar dreams and long weekends aside how are you doing?"
"Really well. The last 3 months have been heaven. I am at full strength and have been for a while now so I am loving that, I still get little aches and pains every now and then but apart from that I am of the good."
"Does Giles know you are at full strength?"
"Yep."
"And he hasn't tried talking you in to coming back here?"
"He has."
"In a non slaying way?"
"Yeah. Especially with you guys taking new girls in for the new school year. Thinks they may learn something from me."
"He is right you know."
"What How to fall from a great height and survive 101?"
"No" He smiles "Although it would be a handy skill to learn."
"I am sure it would be. Is Faith in her office?"
"Actually no, she has been out with Willow all morning."
"Doing?"
"No idea. It's nothing official for here as far as I know. The girls are on holidays and orientation for the new girls doesn't start until the end of August."
"Huh, I guess that is what you get for trying surprise someone."
"She said they would be gone all day. I don't expect her back either."
"Hmmm I wonder what she is doing?"
"I think she is helping Willow with something."
"Why do you say that?"
"Well Willow was the excited one, it just seemed like Faith was going along for the ride you know."
"Oh okay, well I might just head home then."
"Have you spoken to Dawn lately?"
I shake my head, maybe that is what I will do. No time like the present.
I called Dawn to see whether she would be interested in catching up and got a very enthusiastic response.
I invited her to our place, I am hoping Faith will come home while she is here then we can all talk and hopefully get things sorted out. I tried calling her to let her know that Dawn and I were catching up but it just told me that she was out of the area which is strange because normally I would get her voicemail.
I change my outfit at least 4 times. I would have gone for 5 but the buzzer for downstairs went.
"Hey Manny" I say in to the intercom.
"Dawn is here."
"Send her up" I say then go and unlock the door.
I go in to the kitchen and get the treats I brought for afternoon tea and put them on the dining room table.
I head back to the kitchen and she walks in.
I stop and look at her. We haven't seen each other in over 9 months, she has changed so much. She is very much a young woman.
Her hair is a deep chocolate brown colour and is very long, nearly halfway down her back.
"Your hair!" We both say at the same time.
I had gone short again with different shades of blonde through it ranging from very light to very dark.
I go up to her and we hug.
"I have missed you so much" She says.
"I have missed you too" I pull back and look at her "You have grown up so much."
"I kinda had to."
I push some of her hair back off her face.
"You look a lot better than when I last saw you" She says.
"I am sure I do, I always have bad bed hair."
She smiles.
"Can I get you a drink?"
"Got anything cold?"
"Pepsi, Diet Pepsi Max, water and milk."
"The diet one sounds good."
"Okay, take a seat in the dining room and I will bring the drinks out" I go in to the kitchen and grab two bottles and two glasses and take them back.
So I am going to cut a long story short. Dawn stands by her 'wanting her own life' reasoning but is sorry she lied. She says she knows Faith probably won't ever forgive her or believe her and will always regret not coming to us because of that. She and Trent are living together and she says they are very happy. She is doing really well at school and even though she doesn't have to decide for a while is looking in to what fields she would like to go in to.
She heads home early evening and Faith still isn't home. I call hers and Willow's cells but they both just say they are unavailable. I call the academy and get their answering machine so as a last resort I call Kennedy and get her voicemail after about an hour of ringing. I just leave her a quick message asking if she knows where they are and when they will be home and to let me know when she does.
I can hear a phone ringing…I sit up and look around. I am in the living room of our apartment and it is our house phone. I get up and stumble in to the kitchen and pick up that extension.
"Hello."
"Hey, did I wake you?"
"Faith! Oh my god where are you?"
"Relax, Red and I went to Connecticut on a recon mission and by the time we finished realised it was too late to head back so we have just checked in to a hotel for the night."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"We didn't think we would be gone this long. It was a simple find and destroy that turned in to a find then chase it halfway across the state destroy it, piss off its cousin then get ourselves chased back across the other half of the state before we get enough back up to destroy it."
"Why couldn't I leave a message? It just kept telling me you were out of range."
"Dunno B…wasn't exactly able to answer any calls anyway."
"So where in CT are you?"
"Hartford. Red wanted to stop in Andover but I said screw it I want a nice hotel room with a decent shower."
"Okay so you will be home in the morning?"
"We should be. We are hoping that everything we did today doesn't piss off more demons."
She was being strange "So where are you really?" I ask.
"Hartford Marriot."
"So if I was to call them and ask to be put through to your room I would get through?"
"Of course you would. I am in room 226 and Red is in room 229 across the hall from me…what is with the 3rd degree?"
Oh yeah something is up "No reason, look I am really tired so I am going to say good night and head off to bed."
"No! You tell me what is up with you and the questions!"
Nice move Lehane change it up so the focus is on me "There is nothing up with me, I just said I am tired and you know how I get when I am tired."
"Yeah sorry B. We should be home by late morning so I will see you then."
"Okay night."
"Night, I love you."
I hang up on her…she just fibbed to me she isn't getting an I love you until I know what the hell is going on.
I call information and get connected to the hotel Faith said she was at and ask for room 229.
"Hello" A sleepy Willow says.
"Wake up call" I say in an Indian accent.
"I didn't order a wake up call."
"Yes room 239 2.30am wake up call."
"This is room 229."
"Oh I am very, very sorry" I say then hang up.
Shit…so she wasn't lying about the hotel…but I know she is up to something and I will find out what it is.
I am again woken by a phone ringing. I pick up the cordless that is on my bedside table.
"Hello."
"Buffy, oh thank god" It was Giles.
"Giles, what's wrong?"
"I sent Faith and Willow on a recon mission yesterday and I allowed them to use one of the private jets to get back to New York quicker and their car was hijacked on the way to the airport. I can't get hold of Kennedy and I fear that none of the girls we have are anywhere near ready to face this thing…I hate to ask but if I send a car for you would you mind heading to Hartford to help them out?"
"Uh hang on Giles I am still half asleep, can you repeat that please?"
"Faith and Willow…I was letting them use one of our jets to get home quicker and on the way to the airport the car was hijacked. Faith and Willow are missing and I fear it has something to do with the mission I sent them on. The Galvrin Demons don't like to be messed with and it seems that in-"
"Faith is missing?" I say, still sceptical.
"Yes. I would call on Kennedy but she isn't answering her phone. You are the most experienced slayer I have."
"I am retired!"
"It is your partner and best friend that are in trouble Buffy. I wouldn't call if I didn't need your help" He scolds me.
"Right okay, so what do you want me to do?" I don't think Giles would be part of Faith's little game.
"Andrew will be picking you up in 10 minutes and you will be on a plane within 30 minutes. I will meet you at the airfield in Hartford and we will go from there."
"If Faith is hurt in anyway I am going to kick your ass Giles."
"Yes, I know."
I hang up from him and throw some clothes on and am standing on the sidewalk when Andrew arrives.
The drive is silent, so I know that something is wrong for sure. Normally Andrew is chattier than Cathy, the guy could talk underwater with a mouthful of marbles plus his knuckles have created a new shade of white he is gripping the wheel that tight.
We are in the air within minutes of arriving at the airfield and we should be in Hartford within the hour.
We are 45 minutes in to the flight when the pilot interrupts the silence.
"I am sorry to tell you this but there is very bad weather preventing us from landing in Hartford so we are going to fly to the next available landing space and then you will be transported by vehicle."
I sigh.
"Do you think that maybe the demons are messing with the elements in an effort to prevent us from swooping in and saving the day?" Andrew asks.
"Maybe. Do you know much about the demons?"
"Yes. The Galvrin are very territorial and very violent. While they do like to create a community type of environment they will take everything in its path to create it….human, animal and other demons."
"Great. I spoke to Faith last night and she said she took care of it but in the process pissed off their cousins. Another type of demon or like a sister community?"
"Sister community is the safe bet. They are very protective of their kind and with them killing other types of demons I doubt another breed is going to be very upset at them getting slaughtered."
"Do we have any idea on how big this community is?"
"Well not really. We thought it was the one little clan in country Connecticut."
"Did they go in to this knowing everything?"
"We always make sure that any slayer that goes in to the field is fully prepared, you should know that Buffy."
"I do but Giles rushed me on to this plane before I knew the full story."
"What did you need to know other than Faith was in trouble?"
"Can I let you in on a little secret?" I tell him.
"Always."
"I thought Faith was up to something."
"What would she be up to?"
"No idea. She was a bit distant last night on the phone."
"She will kill me for telling you this but she was hurt, popped her shoulder."
"I would have understood that."
"You would have told her she probably jumped in to the fray with no regard for her safety."
"That is so not the point Andrew and you know it."
"It is totally the point Buffy."
I sigh and look out the window. Why did Andrew have to be my replacement for the day to day running of the academy? He was so frustrating and always had to be right.
Thankfully we were only up in the air for another 10 minutes and in a giant black SUV like you see in the movies. Giles was at the wheel.
"I hope the change in plans hasn't set us back any" He greets us.
"Why hello Giles, how are you?" I say.
"Sorry Buffy but I am sure Andrew let you know we are dealing with some pretty ruthless demons here. A moment wasted can be the difference in life or death."
"Well why are we still sitting here then? Drive" I tell him.
"Right, yes" He starts up the car and we are on our way.
I look out the window, I have never ever been to Hartford before but I am pretty sure it is not near the ocean.
"How far from Hartford are we?" I ask Giles.
"Not that far."
"Connecticut River!" Andrew says rather loudly.
"Yeah, when was the last time you saw waves breaking in a River?" I pointed.
Giles turns down a dirt track to where are large white tent is set up.
"What the hell is going on?" I ask.
"Well we had to set up a search headquarters somewhere."
"Cut the bullshit Giles."
"Buffy I do not have time for stupid games. I have my best slayer and one of the world's most powerful witches missing and we are doing what we can to try and get them back. We have had to go a little off course to take these demons by surprise."
"I thought it was because of bad weather."
He pulls up at the tent "Now if you want to help then you will shut up and go through that door and get some weapons and hopefully a location."
"You are just going to sit here?"
"It is much quicker this way. Why wait for three people to get out of the car, lock it up then head in, we all load up, then head back to-"
"Okay Andrew I get the point" I take off my seat belt and get out of the car. I shut the door and go through the entrance to the tent. I see Dawn, Willow and Anya waiting for me in powder blue gowns.
Willow comes up to me "You made it!"
"Yeah and look at you not missing at all."
"We are very, very sorry for lying to you" She says in a cheesy Indian accent.
"What is going on?"
Dawn takes my hand and leads me to this beautiful, elegant wedding dress.
"Oh my" I breathe in.
I am about to get married!
Notes: Lyrics belong to Ben Folds not me. I tried to stay away from mushy but it was a wedding and there had to be some.
So I here I am ready to walk down the aisle. I am waiting patiently for Giles to finish walking Faith down the aisle and then he is going to walk me. They held me back until they started the walk so I didn't see her before my walk down the aisle.
I found out we are actually at Martha's Vineyard. Gay marriage is legal in Massachusetts and Faith and Willow had been here since yesterday getting everything ready.
Willow had some how magically rerouted the phone when I called the hotel so she got the call.
"Are you okay?" Dawn asks me.
"I am blown away. I should be pissed off because I wanted to organise my wedding but everything so far has been perfect."
"Well nobody knows you better than her."
"I knew she was up to something."
"This kind of something?"
"No, I thought that she got me a puppy…I wanted a puppy."
"No puppy."
"Did she register?"
"And get you what, you have everything!"
"I don't have a puppy" I pout.
Giles walks in "Are we ready?"
"Yes" I go up to him and link my arm with his "And walk fast, I wanna see Faith as soon as possible."
Dawn, Willow and Anya all head off down the aisle and we follow. My eyes meet Faith's instantly and everything else just melts away. She looks…there are no words for how she looks. Her hair is curled into ringlets and she has a wreath on top of her head made up of these white daisies. She has a huge grin plastered on her face. I finally come face to face with her. She takes my hands in hers after I give Willow my bouquet.
"Hey" I breathe.
"Hi."
I lean in and we kiss briefly.
"Surprised?" She asks.
"Very, I thought I was getting a puppy."
"Sorry no puppy."
"This is so much better."
"Well I am not that much different to a puppy. I need constant attention, I will make a mess no matter where I go, I love it when you rub my belly."
"Need to go outside for toilet breaks?" I interrupt with a smile.
"And you know what they say a puppy is forever not just for Christmas… same deal here missy."
I hear Giles clear his throat "Uh excuse me girls."
I look at him "I haven't seen her in two days!"
"Tent full of people, here for a purpose."
"Right, okay."
We go and face the minister.
"Buffy, Faith" He smiles at us.
It was her minister from when she was little. Father O'Reilly. I recognise him from her stories. I mean the description I got was that he was a bald happy little Irishman and that is what I see now.
"Okay now I will keep it as short as possible because it seems our two lovely brides need to catch up plus I hear it is an open bar."
There was laughing from our guests.
He begins the ceremony but I for the life of me can not hear a word he is saying. I am lost in Faith's eyes…I hope someone is videotaping this.
I hear him say the word vows…oh shit! Vows…I am so going to mess this up!
Oh Faith is going first, thank god. I can just steal off her!
"B" She says kinda shakily "Buffy I love you and some days I can not believe that you are in my life. I am so glad you are though because I could not imagine having a world where you are not in it. My world is not complete unless I have you. You are always on my mind and always in my heart" She stops and tries to blink back tears but they fall anyway.
I smile and gently wipe them from her cheeks.
"Thanks Smooch."
"What I am here for."
"I promise you that I am always going to be there for you, that I am always going to be this close to you, that I am always going to be in love with you and I am going to spend every day of our forever keeping those promises."
"Buffy" Father O'Reilly says.
"Faith I know that I am the luckiest person alive because I have you. Your beautiful face is the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see before I go to sleep and I…I" My voice breaks "I want that, I want you for the rest of my life. I know that without you it isn't even any kind of life anyway."
She gently brushes the tears from my cheeks.
"You make me so happy and my promise to you is that I will spend every minute of every hour making you just as happy as you have made me. I love you Faith, I love you so much and I can not wait to start our life together."
"The rings" Father O'Reilly says.
Xander steps forward and hands Faith a ring. Faith shakily takes it then takes my hand.
"Buffy, please take this ring as a symbol of my love. It will always be true, it will always be strong, it will always be whole" She slides the ring on my finger.
Xander then hands me my ring.
I was given instructions to repeat what Faith says at the exchange of the rings so I slide her ring on "Faith, please take this ring as a symbol of my love. It will always be true, it will always be strong and it will always be whole."
"With the exchange of vows and exchange of rings these two have pledged their love and commitment to each other. So by the power invested in me by the lord and the state of Massachusetts I now pronounce you wife….and uh well wife."
I smile at Faith.
"You may kiss your bride."
Yay!
We press ourselves against each other and kiss slowly. My right hand slides up in to her curls as her tongue slides my mouth open for a deeper and more passionate kiss. Totally inappropriate for a normal wedding but in perfect keeping for a hot chicks with super powers wedding.
We have just walked to the centre of the dance floor for our bridal waltz. I am amazed at everything Faith has done for us today. My dress was perfect, the bridesmaid's dresses were perfect, her dress was perfect and now I am just hoping that the song is perfect. She refused to let me know what she had chosen. We don't have anything cheesy like our own song that was playing when we first made love or that was playing in the background on one of our dates. Faith isn't exactly the type to listen to a song and say 'Hey this reminds me of you' unless it is something nasty and dirty and said as a joke. So I am really, really nervous.
"Don't be nervous" She says as I hear a piano begin playing.
It was 'The Luckiest' by Ben Folds. We both love this song
"I don't get many things right the first time, in fact I am told that
a lot.
Now I know all the wrong turns and stumbles and falls brought me
here.
And where was I before the day that I first saw your lovely face.
Now I see it every day"
She began singing along softly "And I know that I am, I am, I am The Luckiest."
I rest my head on her shoulder as the song continues.
"What if I'd been born 50 years before you in a house on the street where you live? Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike. Would I know…And in a white sea of eyes I see one pair that I recognize. And I know that I am, I am, I am The Luckiest. I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you"
I move and rest my forehead on hers and we sing to each other.
"Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties and one day passed away in his sleep. And his wife she stayed for a couple of days and passed away. I'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong. That I know that I am, I am, I am the luckiest."
The song slowly ended.
"Sorry I know it wasn't a Kelly Clarkson song" She says.
"It was perfect Faith. This whole day has been perfect. Thank you so much for this."
"You are welcome."
I give her a nice soft kiss.
"You aren't mad?" She asks.
"About what?"
"Not getting to organise any of your wedding."
"Not one little bit" I give her another kiss "I don't think I would have been able to come close to this. I would have over thought everything and ended up so stressed out that you probably would have had to do it anyway."
She laughs softly.
"I am a little sad though."
"Why?"
"You always do these special things for me. The last thing I did for you alienated you from your family and made you go AWOL for a few weeks."
"You did that for me Buffy. I may have gone AWOL but I would rather know about them than not know at all. They fucked with my life, you gave me it back."
"I did?"
"We are here today because of it. Who knows what kind of world we would be living in if we had stayed there?"
"Here is good?"
"Here is perfect and look if you really, really feel the need to organise something then you can plan our honeymoon."
"You haven't planned that?"
"Nope. Thought a couple of days here on the Vineyard would be cool… then I got here and thought there are nicer beaches in the world for us to screw on."
We laugh at her joke.
I feel a tap on my shoulder and see Xander "May I cut in?" He asks me.
"No" I tighten my grip on Faith.
"Just one dance?"
"Xand give us a few more laps then I am all yours" She says.
"Okay but please hurry cause Anya has two left feet and they both keep ending up on mine."
I don't like being wrong, which is strange when you consider how many times over the years I have actually been wrong but this time I don't mind being wrong at all. I didn't think marriage would suit us but it totally does.
The last 6 months since our wedding have been amazing. It is like it was in the beginning of our relationship. Needing to be close, needing to be touching, needing to be kissing, needing to be making love just needing her all the time.
We spent 10 glorious days in the Maldives. Our bungalow came with a private beach and we indulged in some not so private consummation of our marriage. It was a good thing it was private because I am sure if we had neighbours they would have thought we were trying to kill each other nightly with the noises that came from our room, the beach and even the water.
When we got back to New York I was kinda of sad. She went back to work and with the new girls arriving and the new school year starting she was very busy.
Of course this didn't deter me from the needing of her. I became very good at sneaking in to her office. I would help her with schedules and class plans and anything else that came across her desk… funny thing is it was mainly us that came across her desk.
Today I was at home, Giles was in town so no on, under, against or near the desk fun for at least a couple of days. Sure he had his own office when he was in town but after he walked in on us last night we decided that we would cool it while he was here.
I didn't like it one little bit, I was antsy, I was distracted and I was craving her. Surely a little visit wouldn't hurt. I call her direct number but Ralph answers.
"Hey Ralph" I say.
"Hey Buffy, how are you?"
"Really good, say is Faith about?"
"She is in a meeting with Willow, Xander and Giles. He said they weren't to be disturbed."
"Oh okay" Wow how depressed do I sound!
"Aw that is so cute" He says.
"What is?"
"You sound so upset that you can't speak to her."
"I don't mean to sound schmaltzy but I miss her."
"You don't sound schmaltzy at all."
"Yeah I do but thanks for saying that I don't. Can you just let her know I called?"
"I sure can…oh I have a question for you before you go."
"Yeah?"
"What are you doing now? You have been at full strength for a while and the accident was over a year ago now. When do we see the original slayers back out in the battlefield?"
"I'm not sure."
"Do you miss the fighting?"
"No. The accident has made me…gun shy so to speak."
"You are going to let one little thing like that deter you. You came back from dying twice and you have come back from the brink of death more times than I can count on my fingers and toes and that doesn't include the times before we met."
"Things are different now Ralph. When I was the only one, when Faith and I were the only ones we didn't have a choice. Now here we are in a new world where we can have whatever we want. I bitched and moaned for years that I want a normal fray adjacent life so I think I wanna try that."
"And you are okay with that?"
"Yes I am" I say starting to get indignant.
"So you would give all the fighting and world saving up to be a house wife?"
I know I got bored with it back in Sunnydale but it is different now. I have a future that spans beyond maybe 5 years. I have a wife, a wife that I want to come home to, a wife that I want to come home to me as well. I want to be a Mom, have our babies.
"Uh Buffy you still there?" Comes through the phone waking me from the mini daydream.
"Oh yeah sorry…I am happy to give all that up Ralph. When it was just Faith and I it was a little different. Any day could have been our last day, some days in my case that was true. Now though, there is a world full of girls ready and willing to take up the fight and I am very happy for them to do so."
"I don't think you will ever convince Faith to give it up."
"I know" I smile "And I would never ask that of her. It has always been different for us. I did it because I had to she does it because she wants to."
"So does that mean you wanna hang up the slaying shoes for baby booties?"
I think this is a conversation for Faith and I "I don't know Ralph. Can you just get Faith to call when she can?" I ask again hoping he will forget the subject at hand.
"Sure thing but just because you are retired doesn't mean we don't want to see you here. You don't have to sneak in to her office."
"Okay well maybe once Giles goes I will pop in for a proper visit."
"Not gonna come in while he is here?"
"No, if I hear his come out of retirement speech one more time I think I will come out of retirement just to kill him and anyone else that dares asks me something similar."
"Right okay so I will get Faith to call you as soon as she is out."
"Thanks Ralph. Take Care" I say then hang up.
I know that last part was unnecessary but I am retired and a little bored and fucking with him was just way too easy!
When Faith gets home that night she is tired and cranky. She goes straight to the kitchen and gets a beer then flops on to the couch. I go and sit at the other end. She puts her feet in my lap and I figure if I am going to ask her what I am going to ask her then timing is essential.
I start by giving her a light foot massage.
"Jesus B, that feels fucken' amazing."
"Long day?"
"I love Giles but mainly when he isn't here in New York."
I smile "Doing your head in?"
"Yep. We run that place perfectly fucken fine without him and then he comes in with his 'Dear Gods' and tongue cluckin' I wanna clock him in the fucken head."
"What is the problem this time?"
"He thinks curfew is too late during the week and that we are too liberal with allowing the girls to choose their curriculum's and have weekends to themselves. He thinks we need to give them a firm but helpful hand. He says our hands are basically waving them down the toilet."
"What did you say to that?"
"I showed him last years test scores. Our girls kicked every other academies ass and we had 4 girls in the top 5% of the country and another 7 in the top 10%."
"What did he do?"
"Watched my ass as it walked out of his office."
"He better not have watched it. Taking you on about over the academy will be the last of his worries. He won't ever have to clean his glasses again after I pop his fucking eyes out of his head."
"Chill B. It was just a saying. I don't think he really watched my ass. I was tryin' to convey that I walked off after putting him in his place."
"Oh okay" I move to her other foot and begin massaging it.
"I can not wait til he goes. I know he has to check up on us to make sure we are doing right and can manage I just don't know why he feels the need to treat us all like 5 year olds while he is here."
"He has always been like that."
"I am tired of him askin' me to put pressure on you to come back to active slaying."
"Yeah I told Ralph that the next person to ask me that would see me come out of retirement to kill them for asking."
She chuckles softly.
"I know what would make him stop asking" I say deciding to take the plunge.
"What?"
"That spell Willow suggested if we wanted to…you know."
She pulls her feet off my lap and sits up "Which spell? She has suggested a lot of spells. Teleportation…do you mean teleportation?"
She know what spell I mean and she is freaking out.
"Uh yeah. That's the one. I could just teleport to somewhere else so he can't ask."
"Right" She puts her feet back in my lap "I thought you meant that other spell, to get one of us pregnant. Aint no way in hell we are ready for that."
We aren't? I was kinda looking forward to having a little bump to call our own.
"Yeah, no way in hell are we ready. Don't know where you got that crazy idea from that I was going to suggest we have a baby" I say and smile big. I pat her feet "You must be starving, let me get dinner ready for you" I get up off the couch.
"Thanks B you are the best wife ever."
I give her my bestest Buffy smile and head in to the kitchen to microwave her dinner.
What did you think I was going to cook? Apart from that dinner I did for her way back in Boston my crappy record in the kitchen continues. I spot the bag from my shopping earlier in the day. I open it up and look at the ingredients I need for the spell in order for her to be able to get me pregnant. I could always use them on myself anyway and say it was an accident that just leaving them sitting in the bag can cause pregnancy.
I sigh and shove the bag to the back of a cupboard then turn to the fridge and pull out lasagne and garlic bread from the freezer.
No baby for Buffy so what was Buffy going to do?
Why am I referring to myself in the 3rd person?
Who knows but I am not giving up on the baby idea. Not by a long shot.
I was going to be subtle in my approach about becoming pregnant. Like take her for a walk through the park where I knew all the Mommy Meetings were held and coo over the babies or take her shopping and just happen to pass a few baby stores on the way but she would see through it and get mad with me for playing games rather than being honest.
I could prepare a romantic dinner and butter her up but again she will see it as me trying to play games so I guess my only other alternative is to just come out with it. Tell her straight out that I am ready and that I think we are ready to be parents.
Seems simple but as I look at her scrunched up face as Giles prattles on about improvements needed in attitude from all the staff I know that putting it off yet again is going to happen.
I had come past to see her and Ralph told me to go in which I had started to do. I stopped when I saw Giles giving her a lecture. I was starting to get really pissed off with him.
"Oh right this coming from the man that lied to his slayer, drained her of her power and left her to fend a crazy vampire as part of her test" I walk in to the office.
Faith looks up and Giles spins around.
"Are you really going to stand there and lecture her when you have no idea yourself on what works? I don't believe you Giles. You get a little power and you are no better than Quentin who had barbaric rules and principles."
"Excuse me Buffy I do believe this is a conversation between Faith and I."
"Well Excuse me Giles but I feel the need to interject. You have been here for 3 days and each night she has come home close to tears. She has hardly slept. She has reviewed procedures and classes and notes on the girls endlessly because she thinks you are going to take this academy away from her. These girls are excelling here. Have you even bothered to read any of their files?"
"Of course I have Buffy."
I close the office door behind me "Good so then you know all about Tess?"
"She is one of your best slayers."
"True but she also came to as a scared shitless addict. She completely broke down in front of us. Begged us for help."
"Right and you feel giving a former addict free reign of a weekend is a good thing."
"She worked hard Giles. She went through detox, she attended rehab as an outpatient so she could attend classes. She reported to us weekly and she was open and honest with us through the whole process. We built a relationship with her just like we do with every girl that passes through this door. They aren't a number to us. We were treated that way and there is no way in hell we would ever do that to these girls."
He folds his arms across his chest.
"Not impressed…how about I pull out random files and have Faith tell you exactly what is going on with that girl. Where she came from, what she did before she came here and what she plans to do now they are here. Think you would be able to say the same of the staff at your other academies?"
"I get the point Buffy."
"No I don't think you do Giles. Your head is shoved so far up your ass right now you don't even know what way is forward. I know I may not work here anymore and have no right to comment on how you run things but I do have a right when to comes to the way you treat my wife."
"She needs to learn that gi-"
"Shut up! Just shut the fuck up" Faith says standing up "I have stood by the last few days and let you pass judgement and make comments because you are Giles. You took me in, you helped me and you guided me, you became like a father to me. I let you say what you said because I respected you and I would have thought the work that had been done here would at least mean I had gained your respect in return. I am proud of the work I have done here, I am proud of every single girl we have here and I am proud of our staff and I will not let you walk in here with your archaic theories and tongue clucking and disapproving glances and whatever other condescending thing you can come up with. What you are doing is damaging the work we have done here. Willow had 3 girls come to her in tears last night because you ripped them to shreds after watching a Tai Chi session. Tai Chi are you fucking kidding me? That is what you are going to yell at my girls for…even if it was something serious we wouldn't scald them like they are a 3 year old. We understand that no matter how much you prepare them something can go wrong out there and when it does we don't tell them off. We can't prepare them for everything that is going to happen it isn't humanly possible. So we just tell them we trust them, we trust their abilities as slayers and as human beings. We don't let anyone out there that isn't ready. If you actually sat down and talked to teachers, read files or even talked to the girls you would see that but you don't want to, you just come in here being miserable and completely closed off from everything we have tried to show you."
"What makes you think that you have the right to talk to me like that?"
"The fact that I know what I am talking about. I am a slayer, I came from the old system. It was full of lies and deceit. I was treated like a number and I was treated like I was disposable. It didn't matter if the slayer died because another was called. The slayer was never seen as a person. You just shoved these powers in a totally innocent person and expected them to fall in line and just understand that they now had to do what some pompous fool in England said to do. That isn't right. I may run this place but I don't have a right to take anything away from these girls. They didn't choose this destiny it chose them and I am gonna do everything I can to help them, you should try it sometime."
I am so proud of my baby!
He goes to say something.
"No…no talking. If you want to stay here that is fine but until you are willing to just look at how we do things you and I have nothing else to say to each other."
I open the door and Giles walks out. I close it behind him and face Faith who has just flopped in to her chair.
"I can't feel my legs!" She says "Jesus Christ. He is going to fire me."
"No he isn't" I go over to her desk and sit across from her.
"He is! He won't let me get away with that."
"If there is no Faith there is no New York academy. As British as he is he knows that. He just hates that he wasn't doing this before you were and now he is throwing a hissy fit."
She sighs and looks at me "When did I become an adult?"
"November 27th 2004" I say with a smile.
"I see you are still to reach this goal" She smiles back at me.
"Faith I did come here for a reason."
"Well the desk is free" She wiggles her eyebrows.
"Maybe later."
She sits up knowing I am serious.
"The other night when I mentioned the spell. Wasn't teleportation I was talking about."
"Buffy I-"
"Please just let me say what I have to say then the floor is all yours."
She nods.
"Thank you. That day I had been talking to Ralph as you know. He was all with the what are you going to do now. That question has been going through my head for a while now. I have been at full strength for a while and I know that people want me to use that but I don't. Don't get me wrong I love doing the patrols with you when we go out and I always want to be able to do that with you. I just think that this part of my life is meant to be different. I feel like I want to be a Mom, a Mom to our baby. This isn't a spur of the moment decision, Buffy got clucky while at the park one day and saw a lady with a pram. It has been there in the back of my mind since the end of Sunnydale. When we knew we had a future that was longer than a month or a year. I know you freaked out when I mentioned it the other day but I want to assure you that I have thought this through, that I believe we are ready for this."
Her mouth is opening and closing and her eyes are as wide as saucers.
I breathe in deeply because I know her answer. She is not ready, she isn't even close to thinking about being ready.
I sit watching her act like a goldfish for a couple of minutes before I get fed up.
"Okay I get it Faith you aren't ready. I know you are busy so I will just see you at home for dinner" I get up from the chair "Oh Dawn and Trent are joining us so please don't be late."
She lets out a squeak of some kind.
I look at her in hope of an answer but her head is buried in her hands.
I quietly leave the office and the building.
I don't feel like going home and I can't do my normal walk through the park because there are going to be ladies with prams all over the place. Great here come the tears.
Dawn and I are in the kitchen cleaning up while Faith and Trent play some stupid video game in the living room.
"So you going to tell me what the tension is about?" Dawn asks.
"Tension?"
"Please! The last few dinners you two have forgotten we were here and almost gone at it on the dinner table tonight you couldn't even look at each other."
"I told her today that I want to have a baby."
"OH MY GOD!" She squeals.
"Shhhh" I say and look over in the direction of the living room.
"OH MY GOD!" She whispers.
"Not oh my god. She doesn't want one."
"What? Like ever?"
"I don't know. All I know is now it makes her freak out."
"Maybe she is scared."
"I know she is scared but I know she would be the most awesome Mom. I could never be a parent without her."
"Have you talked about it?"
"Not properly. She just freaks out."
"Aren't you scared?"
"I am now. Before when I first thought of us having a baby I didn't feel scared at all. I never honestly thought she would freak out the way she is. Back in Sunnydale we talked about having a house in the suburbs…3 kids, 2 girls and boy…and we would be the perfect Moms. We even had these little scenarios. We would give the kids names. Spencer one of the names for our little boy won best and fairest for his soccer team. Or there was the time Ella and Faith got stuck up in the tree house because Ella and Sophie our eldest girl had a fight over who got to dress Faith up for their tea party so Sophie left in a stink and took the ladder with her. That was what got me through the days when I thought we would never make it out of Sunnydale alive… To see the look on Faith's face when she holds our baby for the first time. I desperately want that" I blink back tears.
Dawn rubs my back "I am sure you will get to have that."
"No I won't. You didn't see her face today Dawnie. You would have thought I told her that I shot a puppy for fun."
"Maybe you should get a puppy first."
"I am beyond that Dawn. I want a baby, I want her baby."
"Look just talk to her. Don't just lay it on the line and I say I want this and I want it now. Find out the reason she is so scared."
"I will, I just feel really disheartened at her reaction."
"She has had Giles there this week. Do you think she can comprehend anything other than to quote you 'fire bad, tree pretty'?"
It makes sense. Laying it on her after that fight with Giles was pretty unfair.
I go to say so but Trent walks in "Faith kicked my ass so I owe her a beer" He opens the fridge and pulls two out.
"And you figure you will pay that bet with our beer?" I ask him.
"Oh not in that way. I kick her ass she does the beer run to the fridge, I kick her ass and I do the beer run to the fridge."
Dawn reaches inside the fridge and hands him a few more "That will save you a few trips."
"I resent the implication" He says to her.
"Trent sweetie we all know she is going to kick your ass, even you know it."
His shoulders lump in defeat "I do but it would still be nice to think my fiancé has some kind of belief in me."
"Be kind, rewind…Fiancé?" I say.
"We were going to tell you and Faith tonight but with the funky tension we decided to leave it but as always Trent has great timing… and a big mouth."
"Oh my god that is great news" I pull Dawn in to a hug.
"Yo where is the beer?" Faith walks in to the kitchen "I am dying of thirst, kicking your ass has really taken it out of me."
"I uh…shared our news with Buffy."
"Oh the engagement" She says taking a beer from him.
"You knew?" Dawn and I both say.
"Who do you think took him ring shopping?" She opens her beer and sculls half the bottle.
"Oh right."
"Look I didn't tell you because it wasn't my news to tell" Faith says by way of explanation to me.
"Of course" I give her a small smile "So can I see this ring?" I ask Dawn.
She reaches in to her pocket and takes it out "If I wore it you would have seen it and like I said with the weirdness that was going on here…I put it in my pocket."
"So are there any diamonds left in the world or were they all joined to make this ring."
It was huge like give Dawn arm cramps from wearing it huge.
"I didn't just go to Faith for ring advice, I had one in mind. I had to do the right thing and ask permission."
Well she is my sister, wouldn't that mean he should have come to me.
"I couldn't go to her Dad and traditionally you ask the father for permission and lets be honest Faith is the butch one of the two of you. So I went to her."
There you go Trent logic. Can't get upset at that but of course I am.
"It's beautiful Trent you did a good job."
"My mother is going crazy organising an Engagement party for us. You should get your invites next week."
Oh look at that more information about my sister's life that I find out last…His Mom knew she was engaged before I did…all I can think right now is 'fire bad, tree pretty'.
"The kitchen is clean and I think I need to patrol so if you will excuse me" I walk over to the door and grab my jacket. I turn back to the kitchen "Thanks for coming over for dinner, it was great to see you. Dawnie I will call you next week for lunch okay?"
I leave the apartment with tears falling down my face.
How did my life go from perfect to in tatters around my feet in just a matter of days?
Who am I kidding with this patrol bullshit?
I left everything at home. Stakes, knives, my cell phone and of course my sanity. I know I was acting like a spoilt kid leaving like that but I was upset and the best way I know how to deal with that is to just walk away.
I make my way to the academy. I know Willow is on tonight so some best friend time is a much better idea than patrolling with no weapons.
After my accident Xander and Willow moved to New York with respective partners in tow. Anya wasn't very happy at first but when she was offered a job at the academy as our resident demonologist for an obscene amount of money she fell in love with New York instantly. Xander was still working for Angel, also for an obscene amount of money. While Angel only ran the LA branch of Wolfram and Hart he wanted to keep an eye on their other branches and that was what Xander was doing in New York. Willow of course was head of magic with us and taught classes on basic magic to all the girls. Just protection spells and the like nothing over the top. It was all approved by Giles and the coven. Kennedy being one of the original potentials became head of combat. She pushes the girls to the extreme at times but it makes them better and smarter fighters. I was really glad to have the core Scooby gang back together.
I buzz the bell at the after hours door.
"Buffy, hey" I hear Willow say as the door unlocks.
I open it and go in. Willow meets me in the foyer. I just go up to her and put my arms around her and cry.
After I calm down she makes us a green tea each and we go and sit in one of the chill out rooms. Kennedy is with her tonight so she told us to go and take a few minutes to talk. I think we will need more than a few.
She knows I told Faith I want a baby already and I just filled her in on Dawn's news.
"So that is a lot of news in one day" She says.
"Yeah" I hold my cup in both hands "I am happy for Dawnie…not so happy that dog bum face found out before me."
Oh yeah if you think we had issues with Faith's family, well Dawn's in-laws are just as bad. Not so much with the evil, more with the snootiness. The elitist of the elite according to Mr. and Mrs. Dog Bum Face.
"So you are still at odds with Mrs. Jensen?"
Mrs. Jensen is her real name "Well I guess so. Faith and I invited the Jensen's around about a month ago and they never replied to our invitation."
"Maybe they didn't get it."
"Dawn invited her personally and then gave her our numbers to rsvp."
We silently sit and sip our tea.
"I know I am being childish about the whole thing. I am sitting there telling Faith I think we are ready for a baby and then suddenly things don't go my way and I storm out…I laid that news on her smack bang after a fight with Giles. It was stupid and selfish."
"I wouldn't say that, sure your timing sucked but wanting a baby. That is kinda the opposite of selfish."
"Telling Faith I want one and not kinda letting her have a say is selfish."
"You aren't saying I am having a baby so get used to it. You just told her that you were ready for a baby."
"Yeah I know but I am ready now, I want one now…I planned on talking her in to it. I shouldn't have to talk her in to it, it should be something we both want."
"That's true. Giles will be gone tomorrow afternoon, let her decompress and then approach the subject of becoming pregnant."
"I think I might just leave it for now. If I keep it up she is going to get pissed off."
"Why don't you just explain it to her how you explained it to me or how you explained it to Dawn."
"I had my say, told her how I feel. I told her that once I had my say she could have hers…so it is kinda her turn to talk when we talk about it again."
"And if she says no?"
"Well I will have to accept it. Like I said we both have to want it and as much as I want to have her baby if she isn't ready then I will wait."
"Do you think she is scared?"
"I have no doubt that she is. Neither of us have had a great track record with family. I have divorce, she has evil…plus she looks after the constant stream of girls here."
"Yeah some of these girls would be enough to put you off ever having kids."
"I would have thought that when it came to us having kids that there wouldn't be any hesitation. I was telling Dawn about how we used to talk about having kids all the time back in Sunnydale. She was so excited at the thought of being a Mom."
"A lot has happened since then though."
"Yeah…" I let my thought trail off.
"What?"
"Nothing."
There was a soft knock on the door.
"It's open Sweetie" Willow says. She told Kennedy if she needed us for something to knock.
The door opens and Faith sticks her head in "Hey Red."
"Hi Faith" She says getting up.
"Do you mind if I talk to Buffy?"
"Not at all" Willow comes over to me and we hug.
"Thanks Will."
"Anytime. Call me tomorrow."
"I will."
She leaves gently closing the door, Faith sits in the beanbag across from me.
"Sorry I took off like that."
"I get you being upset. To know that Sissy found out before you did would have been a kick in the nuts."
Yeah…that is bum face's first name Sissy…and no it isn't short for anything.
"It was."
"And the other stuff."
"Yeah, I was a shithead to lay that on you after what happened with Giles."
"I will be honest…I had a feeling the baby talk would come up."
I sip my tea.
"The other night, I knew you didn't mean teleportation. I saw the look in your eyes."
I keep sipping.
"You aren't saying much."
"I kinda did all my talking. I figure I should just shut up and let you have your say."
"I want your input."
"In to what?"
"My thoughts."
"Baby so far you haven't really shared any that require me to answer."
"I want us to take that step, I really do."
"Mmmm."
"I am just so fucking scared! These aren't our stupid ramblings from Sunnydale. The kid would be real not some figment of our imagination."
"You thought our ramblings were stupid?"
"No" She sighs "I loved the scenarios I really did but I knew that the time I would have to deal with that would be way off in to the future."
I finish off the last of my tea.
"I don't want to fuck Taylor, Sophie, Madison, Spencer, Ella, Harry or any of the other kids we had in mind up."
"What makes you think you will screw them up?"
"Have you met my family?"
"Yeah I have but I know you and I know you are nothing like those people. You are who you are despite them."
She sighs again.
"Just say it Faith...let it out."
"I want it all with you, I want a baby so much with you but I just can't get past the being totally shit scared."
"I get why you are scared baby and you need to know that you are nothing like your family and when I say family I mean grandparents and uncles. I think you are just like your Dad. How you have explained him to me, the twinkle you get in your eyes when you share your memories of him…I know our kids are going to talk about you that way…that they are going to love you so much…I am not even going to get a look in."
"You aren't scared about having a baby with me?"
"Not at all. You are what makes me sure that I can do this."
"I am?"
"Yep. I know that no matter what happens in this crazy world we are in there isn't a thing I can't handle because I have you. I get my strength from you."
She is quiet, no sighs. I look at her, she has tears in her eyes.
"Don't cry, if you cry I will cry."
"Sorry bub…I just…what you said…so sweet."
"Look I don't want to force you in to this, I just want you to know that I love you and I want to have our baby and if that means in 9 months time or in a few years time I don't care as long as it is yours."
"Who else's would it be?"
"Well I saw Matthew Broderick down near Times Square last week, we could ask him."
"Ew! Have you seen the kid he had with Sarah Jessica Parker?"
"Faith!"
"What? Not all kids are good looking and with a horse for a mother what chance did that kid have anyway?"
I laugh softly.
"You wanna go home, talk there?"
"Yes please."
Faith is between my legs and I am looking down at my glowing belly. It is becoming increasingly hard to keep my eyes open because of the immense pleasure I am in.
"Holy Moly" I groan.
I hear her chuckle.
"What?" I breathe.
"Holy Moly?"
"I am not going to swear while we are conceiving our baby!"
She circles her hips the strap on hitting my g spot.
"Oh crap" I say.
"Yeah good luck with that" She smiles.
"Faith!"
"Yeah?" She speeds up her hips.
I arch my back up in to her "Yes baby."
"Yes?"
"Yes…need to come" I grip her ass.
She was using her left arm to hold herself up and her right hand was running over the under side of my left thigh. She now is holding herself up on both arms.
"Faith…Faith…Faith."
She starts to circle her hips again.
"Oh wow, yes, yes, yes Faith, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yeeeeeeeesssssssss" I slide my hands in to her hair.
"Coooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng" She groans.
"Uh, uh, uh, uh" I pull on her hair as I come.
"Fuck baby, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuuuuuuuuuck" She falls against me.
I release the grip on her hair and just kinda flop on the bed…I was already lying down but I was so relaxed after coming that I felt like I was melting in to the mattress.
I place my right hand on her lower back and gently caress it. We lay for a few minutes just composing ourselves.
She slowly pushes herself up and looks at me. I raise my head and give her a soft kiss.
"The glowing has stopped…you think that means we did it?"
I look down "I don't know."
"Should we ask Red?"
"Not right now" I say running my hand over her cheek.
"How do you feel?" She asks.
"Satisfied" I smile.
We kiss again, I open my mouth and she slides her tongue against mine. I can hear a familiar tune start up…it is the ring tone on her cell for the academy.
She pulls back from the kiss "Shit!"
She withdraws from me and I moan at the friction. She grabs her phone from the bedside table.
"Yeah…yeah…who is on duty tonight?...why didn't you call him then?...fine give me half an hour and I will be in…if you do get hold of Andrew you tell him I am going to kick his fucking ass" She hangs up the phone.
I sit up "What's wrong?"
"Ken's patrol group haven't reported back."
I look over at the clock it is nearly 3am "Unusual."
"Yeah Andrew is AWOL as well."
"So we go in" I get up and head for our ensuite.
"You don't have to come."
"Yeah I do, Willow is going to be there and she is gonna need me if something has happened."
"Nothing has happened, I have a feeling they may have hit a bar after patrol. Willow and Ken had a huge fight this afternoon."
"Well why are they calling you in?"
"I am next on the list if Andrew doesn't respond."
"Great…perfect."
We shower, dress then head to the Academy the earlier events of the night pushed aside.
If Kennedy has ruined my baby conceiving night for a bender then Willow and Faith are the least of her worries.
I am at Willow's I brought her home from the academy.
When we got to the academy she was in tears, said that she and Kennedy had another huge fight. Kennedy ended up pushing Willow over and storming out.
After she had stormed out the girls she patrolled with and Andrew went looking for her. Faith had a fair idea where Kennedy was and called Andrew and the girls in and went out looking for her. She didn't want the girls wandering the city looking for a wasted slayer.
"How long have you two been fighting?" I ask her.
"I think it would be easier to count the time we haven't been fighting."
"Rough patch?"
"Yeah, I guess you could call it that."
"Is this…has she hurt you before?"
"Look this is not an excuse but we both push and shove each other. Don't think she hits me or hurts me in any way. Our fights have gotten physical before but it has never been more than a shove out of the way."
"Okay."
"You believe me?"
"I have seen you shoot lightning bolts from your hands, I am pretty sure that Kennedy would face a punishment much worse than that if she were to hit you but you know I had to ask."
"Yeah I do. I think it is really over for us this time."
"Really?"
"It has to be, we can't keep up this cycle. We both try and break it but we always end up here. Yelling and screaming at each other that it is over. She goes and gets wasted and I vow to be strong when she gets home but it never happens. We are starting to hate each other…I don't want us to hate each other."
"Do you two even attempt to talk?"
"Yeah, how else do you think we end up screaming at each other…It starts of with softly spoken words and in the space of two minutes it is out of control with us just spewing venomous and hateful words at each other."
"What are you fighting about?"
"Commitment mainly."
"You want it and she doesn't?"
"Kinda the other way around…with you and Faith…the wedding and now the…baby. She is thinking we start to think about it as well."
"You don't want to?"
She shakes her head "I love Ken, I really do but I just can't be what she wants me to be. I don't see myself that way with her."
"Have you ever seen yourself that way?"
"Tara" She says softly blinking back tears.
"You are still holding on to her?"
"I guess I am. I don't mean to, I want to be that way with Kennedy. I want to love her the way she loves me but I just can't let myself do it."
I had no idea she still held on to the loss of Tara so much.
"I know I did the whole turning in to Warren and that was just from kissing her what happens when I give her my whole heart?"
"You might just get lucky Will."
She looks at me "Would Tara understand?"
"Of course she would."
"She hasn't even been gone 5 years."
"Time doesn't matter Willow, we all have to learn to let go at some point. Do you really want to end up with Kennedy hating you or you hating her?"
"No."
"Do you think Tara would want you to not be happy?"
"Of course not."
"You can't keep blaming yourself for her death Will. People come and go from your life for different reasons and I truly believe that Tara was sent to you for a purpose and while you guys loved each other so much she wasn't meant to be on this earth forever. She wasn't your forever."
"You make it sound so simple…harsh but simple."
"I think we are beyond the point of sugar coating things. Kennedy is brash and loud and obnoxious and spoilt but she loves you. She loves you more than Andrew loves hot pockets and Giles loves tweed."
She laughs.
"I am your best friend Will and it is my job to make sure you have what is best for you even if it means giving out the tough love. Ken is the one for you and I know you feel that, you just have to trust that feeling."
"The last time I trusted that feeling…she was ripped away from me. Even the time before that with Oz."
"You talk about breaking the cycle, here is the chance to do it once and for all. You may have lost Oz and Tara but you still have Kennedy."
"Do I? I think she meant it this time."
"If you are open and honest with her. Tell her what you told me then I think you two have a fantastic chance."
"You think she is going to take the news that I am still hanging on to my ex 4 and half years on well?"
"I don't think you are hanging on to Tara. You are scared to allow yourself to love her fully because when you have loved people fully they have left you. You are scared that if you two love each other like that then something is going to happen to her. She will get hurt because of you. You think you are protecting her from pain."
"Instead I am just causing it."
"Well yeah."
"Ouch! Again with the brutally honest."
"I don't want you to lose her Will. As much as I loved Tara I think Kennedy is the best thing to come in to your life…she needs to know that…she needs to be treated like that."
"You think if I open up then I will be able to see my life with her."
"I think when you open up you can see whatever you want."
"Seems pretty easy and when you think of the things we have seen."
"True" I rest my head on her shoulder.
"Sleepy now" She says softly.
"Uh huh" I say through a yawn.
I can feel myself being lifted.
"Willow" I mumble opening my eyes.
"It's me Smooch" Faith whispers.
"Hey" I smile at her.
"Hey."
"When did you get here?"
"About half an hour ago. I've talked to Red and now I am taking you home."
"Did you find Kennedy?"
"Yeah, she was wasted. She is at the academy sleeping it off."
"I want to be mad at her for interrupting baby making night but after talking to Willow I totally understand Ken taking off."
"Doesn't mean she can go off half cocked and get trashed. She and Willow are both in a lot of trouble. They fought in front of the girls and what Kennedy did got them involved in an unsafe search of the city."
"Did you talk to her at all?"
"Yeah."
"And?"
"Not my problem. It is hers and Red's."
"Just like that?"
"It has to be just like that B. I get that Red is your best friend but I work with them both and I can't get involved personally."
"Are you serious? Will isn't just my friend she is yours as well!" I manoeuvre myself out of her arms.
"I know B but I can't get involved. I have the academy to think about and they do as well. We are all setting examples and if I can't be firm with staff no matter who they are what hope do I have with 29 hormonal teenagers?"
She has a point.
"You can get involved as much as you want but baby I have to remain impartial. I went after Kennedy for one reason."
"Are you saying you aren't worried about her at all?"
"No of course not. I may be taking a stance but I still want to make sure she is okay…I am giving her leave. I think she needs it. I think Willow needs it too."
"You are giving Willow leave?"
"No, I mean in the sense of time apart. The break will be a good thing for both of them."
"You are involved!" I say pointing at her.
"How?" She frowns, feigning ignorance.
"Sending Kennedy away! You know that in sending her away Willow is going to realise what she had. She will come back and they will make up and be happier than two pigs in mud."
"I don't know that at all" She keeps pretending.
"Oh you do so" I say smiling and pulling her against me "You know it."
"What ever Buffy…can we please go home I haven't slept in over 24 hours" She turns and heads for the door.
"Sure but admit it you know" I hook my right index finger in the back right pocket of her jeans.
"I have no idea what you are talking about" She takes a swipe at my hand.
"Yeah right Lehane…don't pee on my leg and try and tell me it is raining."
"You really are disgusting at times you know that right Summers."
"Uh uh, I am a Lehane now, comes with the territory."
She opens the front door shaking her head.
I can't look at it…I just can't bring myself to look at it. Honestly I don't need to look at it. The aching breasts and lack of monthly visitor is already confirmation enough but for some reason I can't look at the stick I peed on only 4 minutes ago.
"You look" I say shoving the stick towards Faith with my eyes closed.
"What makes you think I can look?" She exclaims.
"One of us has to!"
"Why me?"
"I can't open my eyes."
"Neither can I!"
"Well what do we do?"
"Call Dawn?" She suggests.
"She has classes all day."
"Are your eyes still closed?" She asks.
"Yeah" If anyone was to walk in right now they would see two twits with their eyes closed. One holding a purple stick out to the other… possibly in the wrong direction.
"Should we just look? I mean my period is over 3 weeks late…my tits ache like a bitch I think I am pregnant."
"On the count of three we open our eyes and we look."
"Okay."
"1,2,3" I open my eyes and blink a few times.
We look at the pink cross sitting in the middle of the circle I peed in. I am pregnant…I am pregnant!
"Pink means yes right?" She asks.
"It does."
"Are you sure?" She looks at me with eyes wide as saucers.
"I read the box about 11 times. We are pregnant."
"Should we do another test, it could be wrong you know. We need to be sure."
"What you want me to pee on it til I see a blue cross instead?" She is freaking out again.
"No, I just think that we shouldn't rely on one test."
"I got two just to be sure…I will pee again" I chuck the first test in the bin and grab the second kit from the cabinet "You can wait outside."
"I was in here for the first one."
"Yeah well I think waiting outside is better, you won't be as freaked out when we see a pink cross again."
"B I just want to be sure…we would hate to get excited for no reason."
"I think the only way you would get excited would be if we got a negative test."
"That is not true!" She says her tone bordering on shrieking.
Classic Faith tone when she is lying.
"I am going to the doctor anyway to be sure."
"And you go to see her and she tells us we are pregnant…how do we explain it?"
"Just like we discussed. Donor sperm" I put the test back in the cabinet and leave the bathroom. I walk in to the kitchen and pick up the cordless and call the doctor's to make an appointment.
Lucky me she had a cancellation at 4 so I can go in then.
"Sooooo" Faith says walking in to the kitchen.
"4pm, she had a cancellation."
"I have class."
"You don't have to be there."
"Shouldn't I be there?"
"It is up to you Faith. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."
"I can't just bail on the class. I told Ken I would take it for her… she had…I just said I would take it for her."
"I would hate for you to let Kennedy down."
"Don't be like that B. She has only been back a few weeks and she is doing a few things she needs to get shit back on track."
"Oh so finding out if your wife is pregnant isn't as important as Kennedy's weekly fuck fest."
"What?"
"I know what she is doing…I know who she is doing and I know you are covering for her."
"I have no idea what you are talking about" Oh look there is that high pitch again.
"I really thought you were okay with this Faith."
"Okay with what?"
"Having a baby."
"I am."
"Funny seems all you want to do is avoid anything to do with it so far."
"I just want to be sure and I don't want you to get your hopes up. I know how much you want this babe and I-"
"What did you call me?" She called me babe…not a big deal some may say but considering our history with this word I can believe she used it.
She frowns again then shrugs.
"Never mind, if you don't get going you are going to be late."
"Buffy…let me make a few calls see if I can get someone in to cover her class."
"Don't worry about it. You have made it perfectly clear that you would rather protect Kennedy's ass than be at that appointment so you just make sure you are there this afternoon" I walk in to our bedroom, I can hear her following me.
"Buffy you are taking this totally out of context!"
"No I'm not. I saw the look on your face when you saw the pink cross… twice your voice did that high pitched thing which you only do when you are lying" I start to make the bed. I grab her pillows and give them to her.
"What are these for?"
"The couch in your office."
"You are kicking me out?"
"I guess I am."
"You are totally over reacting."
"I am pregnant! Pregnant with your fucking kid and you don't seem to care. I know we only did one test and I know we have to be sure but I do know I am pregnant. It isn't about the sore breasts or the lack of period...it is about what I feel. I can feel it Faith, I don't know how to explain it other than I feel it…I feel her, I feel him, I feel our baby inside me…but Kennedy needs you so please don't let either of us stand in your way."
She looks down at her feet and sighs.
"Seriously you better go, can't be late what kind of example would that set for the girls."
She turns and leaves the bedroom tucking the pillows under her arm. I know it was harsh and totally fuelled by my hormones but I thought we were past the freak out stage.
I had images of me showing her the positive test and getting a trademark dimple filled smile…maybe a few kisses on top of that. I thought that the moment we knew for sure that we were going to be parents would be filled with tears of happiness not the current tears of sadness and dejection that I am crying right now.
Notes: This one is short but I wanted to resolve the issues from the last part...also I want to get the pregnancy moving and the other issues touched on way back in part 12 to get Buffy back to the present day cause currently she is still flashing back.
I get to the doctors with a good half hour to spare. Every time the door opens I look up to see if it was Faith so far with 2 minutes to go it hasn't been her.
"Buffy Lehane" Dr. Anderson calls.
I get up and smile at her, she smiles back.
I told the receptionist that if Faith does come in that I want her to be allowed in to the appointment.
"I would ask how you are but I am sure if you were well you wouldn't be here" She says jokingly.
"I am well, just here for…well I guess you will find out" I say as I walk with her to her office.
"I am sure I will."
We reach the office and go in and take our places.
"So Buffy what can I do for you today?"
"I need you to confirm if I am pregnant."
"So you and Faith went down the donor road."
"We did."
"Where is she today, I would have thought she would have been here for this."
"She has a late class, she tried to get out of it but nobody else could cover for her."
"Not to worry. Now I will get you to pee in a very attractive cup shortly and if the strip test I do comes back positive I have a lovely machine in the room next door that I will need to look at your cervix so we can see how far along you are and hopefully work out a due date. I will give you a few pictures you can take home and show her."
"Excellent."
She gets up and goes over to a cupboard. She pulls out a specimen cup "Now if you could do it mid stream that will give us the best sample to work with."
"Okay."
"Now just duck in here, it is my own personal toilet but walking through 2 hallways carrying a cup full of pee isn't a great experience."
I take the cup from her "Thanks."
I go and do my thing and bring it back out to her "Alright this will take about 2 minutes."
She takes the cup over to her work table…I guess that is what it is called and I watch as she places a stick in it.
"Are you nervous?" She asks after she makes sure it is in the cup properly.
"Not at all. I am looking forward to this step."
"How is Faith?"
"Freaking out" I say after a long pause.
"Really?"
"Yeah. She did when I first brought up the subject too but then she told me she was just a little scared but wanted to take this step so we went about doing it and earlier this morning when I did the test and it came back positive she went back in to freak out mode."
"So what is she going to do when this test comes back positive?"
"I wish I knew."
"What will you do?"
"Prepare to become a Mom."
"Even without her?"
"Hopefully I won't have to do it without her."
"Would you like me to refer you to someone that you can both go and talk to about this step?"
"Maybe…let's wait and see if I am pregnant first."
"Buffy I may have only been your doctor for a little over a year but I know you pretty well. You know you are pregnant, you are just here to formalise it."
"Yeah."
"Do you want to talk to me about Faith's reaction?"
"Not really."
"Does it upset you?"
"Of course it does."
"Do you think there is a chance that she doesn't want this baby?"
"Faith and I still need to talk about things properly, with all the information at hand so while I appreciate your offer to talk I think I need to talk to her about it more than I need to talk to anyone else about it."
"Okay, just want you to know both of you to know that I can offer options if you need to go down that path."
"Thanks."
It is silent for what feels like forever. She studies the cup closely before putting it down "Do you want me to say congratulations?"
"Sure."
"Well congratulations. You are pregnant."
As sad as I am about Faith I smile at the news.
"So are you ready for an invasive vaginal exam?"
"Just what I need to make this day perfect" I say standing up and following her into the room next to her office.
She goes over to a cupboard and pulls out one of those attractive gowns "Just get changed in to this, make sure you take your underwear off. I will be back in a minute."
She leaves me alone in the exam room to get changed. I fold my clothes up neatly and place them on the chair beside the exam table then get up on the exam table trying to ignore the stirrups on the end of the table, they don't look that comfortable.
There is a soft knock on the door.
"I'm ready" I say.
She comes back in "Now I don't want you to be scared when you see what I have to use. It won't all be used" She turns on a machine to my left and covers over my legs before she pulls off this long wand looking thing from the machine then puts a sheath of some sort over it then lubes it up. This thing has to easily be 2 feet long.
"It's okay Buffy, not all of it will be going in just about 8 inches or so."
"Even still…8 inches…I am gay…it isn't very often I have something that size or that width inside me."
"I need you to close your eyes and relax."
"No way!" I say.
"It is the only way to do this exam."
There is another knock on the door but this time it comes from the door that leads to the hallway.
She puts the stick that will split you in two down and goes to the door. She opens it fully and Faith walks in.
"Hey" She says.
"Hi."
She walks over to me "So?"
"We are pregnant and we are just finding out how far gone I am and hopefully a due date."
"I am sorry I am late."
"It's okay, you are here now" Dr. Anderson says picking up the wand again.
"What the hell is that?" Faith asks wide eyed.
I take Faith's hand "She needs it to look at my cervix."
"From where fucking mars?"
I smile "Yeah baby from mars."
She looks at me "She is going to…put it in you?"
"Yeah."
"You are sticking that thing in my wife?" She says to Dr. Anderson.
"For medical purposes only" Dr. Anderson says teasing her.
"Well you wouldn't want to even try it for any other kind of purpose it freaking huge."
"Faith please stop reminding me" I say.
"Seriously B…are you okay with that?"
"Of course I am, I asked if she had a bigger one."
She frowns at me.
"Ladies…could I please start the exam?"
"Go ahead" I say reluctantly.
Faith takes my hand.
"Please distract me."
"I am sorry" She whispers softly "I just…I don't know why I freaked out…it was like bam you are going to be a parent and I just had a momentary lapse, my brain just froze and I couldn't for the life of me get it to work properly."
I wince as I feel the wand.
"Just squeeze my hand" She says and I do "That's it baby."
I look her in the eyes "Will you be there for us?"
She brushes my fringe back with her other hand "Of course I will. Every step of the way I am going to be here for you. 2am cravings, mood swings, morning sickness, aching feet, swollen ankles…I am your girl" She kisses my forehead.
"Date of your last period" Dr. Anderson asks.
"She hasn't had one in nearly 8 weeks" Faith answers for me. I am too busy breathing through the uncomfyness.
"The date of your last period is used as the first day of your actual pregnancy, so while you maybe weren't impregnated until a week or so after it we still count that time."
"So then she is two months pregnant?"
"From the look of the foetus she is at least 7 weeks. The skeletal system is fully developed, the heart is beating strongly."
We both look up at the screen she is looking at.
"You won't be able to see that much, we will do your first proper ultrasound in about 8 weeks time when you are 15 weeks gone. Now based on your last period being two months ago you guys will be due mid to late November."
"No date?"
"Well if I can get an exact date from Buffy then I can give one."
"I will have to check my calendar."
"Okay now let me get you a couple of pictures and then I can point out the important bits to you for bragging purposes" She smiles at us.
"So that bit there what it is?" Willow says squinting.
"The head" Faith sighs "It is bigger than the other end!"
"It is kinda grainy" Xander says "I mean it looks like a peanut."
"It does not look like a peanut" Faith says hurt.
I reach over to the seat next to me in which she is sitting and run my hand over the back of her neck.
She looks at me "Did you hear what he called our baby?"
"I did…our baby is still developing and will eventually not look like a peanut, what is your excuse Xander?"
Willow laughs softly.
"Fine mock me if you will but I am sorry I am not on board the isn't the grainy blob cute train."
"You will be if you want to be god father" Faith says to him.
"Please don't do any cheesy Marlon Brando impersonations. No morning sickness to date and I would like to keep it that way" I say.
"So due date?" Willow asks.
"November 19th" I say.
"Do you feel grown up?" Xander asks.
"I have for some time" I say with a yawn.
"We should go. Let the Mommies get some rest" Willow says.
We say our goodbyes and get ready for bed.
"It has been a long day" I say sitting on the edge of the bed "I am sorry for yelling at you this morning."
"Don't apologise…if I wasn't such a doof...if I got my brain to work then there wouldn't have been a fight."
"Kennedy is…is she cheating on Willow…are they even back together?"
"They are but she has been going to AA every Wednesday night for the last 5 weeks, it is why I have been covering for her."
"Well don't I feel like an asshole."
"I didn't tell you, no need to feel like one."
"So what do you think we will have?"
"Well with us both having the same chromosomes I am thinking a girl."
"The spell allowed us to be able to create a baby just like any other normal heterosexual couple."
"The universe is always ready to test us B…they are going to give us a girl and she is going to be like Dawn on crack."
"Excellent" I say getting in under the covers.
"Speaking of Dawn did you get hold of her?"
"No I got their machine so I said they had to meet us for dinner in the village tomorrow."
"Oooh we haven't been there in ages."
"I know I am tired of playing hostess…not that I cook but I load a mean dishwasher."
"That you do" She gets in to the bed beside me.
I look at her and smile.
"What?"
"We are having a baby!"
She grins too "Yeah we are."
There are my dimples!
"Well look at you with the pregnant belly" Faith says walking in to the bedroom.
I had been lying down after a shitty day with all day sickness, not morning sickness. I look down and see my tiny little belly poking up.
"Hey, how was your day?" I ask her.
"Usual…how is the morning sickness?"
"Finished at about 4…this afternoon."
"Awww bub. Did you try the ginger ale I got you?"
"No bubbles" I say.
"What about water, have you at least had water?"
"Yeah but as soon as I swallow it is coming back up."
"Have you been able to eat or drink anything?"
"Nope."
She gently sits on the bed.
"I can suck in ice cubes…I kinda get my water that way."
Her fingers run over my belly "Can you feel anything yet?"
"Apart from immense sickness…No."
"It is like 40 outside, what is with the lack of clothes?" She asks.
I forgot to mention that I only had my underwear on because I thought I was going to spontaneously combust I am that hot.
"I feel hot" I answer simply.
She accepts the answer and changes the subject "So we are at the 12 week mark…can we tell people apart from the 5 that know now."
The 5 being Dawn, Trent, Xander, Willow and Kennedy.
"Maybe we just leave it a few more weeks. I am in no condition for people to be congratulating me and wanting to touch the tiny but demonic belly."
"Okay" She sounds so disappointed. Apart from the freak out on the confirmation day she has been fantastic. She has been there for me every step of the way and more so and not in a fussy piss me off type of way either. Just the right amount of everything.
She has this really sad look on her face as her fingers keep tracing random patterns on my belly.
"What?" I ask her.
"Do you really think our baby is demonic?"
"In the sense that it is giving me this feeling all day rather than just the morning time yes…in the way you think I mean, No."
"With how the baby was made and our history there is a chance we are going to have a little super human baby. Then there is the other history, from my family."
"They chose what they did Faith. They weren't born evil they weren't born in to a destiny like we were. What your Grandfather, Grams and Thomas did were all conscious choices. I get that Grams did what she did to protect you."
She goes to protest at my defending of her.
"It doesn't excuse what she did at all, she took a human life" I say as means of interrupting her thought process.
"I was gonna say now that you are pregnant…now that I am going to be a Mom. I understand perfectly what Grams did. No ifs or buts or maybes someone fucks with our kid they are going the same way as Gramps and Thomas."
That's fair enough. I feel the same way.
"So I was thinking maybe I call her."
"Grams?"
"Yeah…also…my Mom."
I sit up "You have been thinking about this?"
"I have thought about a lot of things these last few weeks. I had my family taken away from me because of someone else's selfishness. I don't want to do that to our children. I don't want to make the same mistakes that they did" She looks down at her hands.
I feel a little guilty for not knowing this, for being so caught up in my self "Well how do you want to tell Grams? Do you want to head to Boston?"
"No. I will write to her. Old fashioned I know but it will be the only way that I can do it. I can tell her everything I feel about what I found out. How happy I am with you. How while what happened was totally fucked up my life couldn't have worked out any better. Here is where I am meant to be."
"On a bed with your half naked smelling like spew wife?"
"Yeah" She smiles big.
"It is where I am meant to be."
"You think we can fast forward to the bit where I am meant to be over this morning sickness."
"I can ask Red if she knows of any potions."
"No more magic, from now on this is a normal pregnancy."
"Apart from the lesbian slayer Moms."
"Yeah apart from that."
16 weeks or the 4 month mark of the pregnancy. We were back at Dr. Anderson's office for our first official ultrasound.
My belly was bigger and poking out quite a bit now. Kinda hard to keep it a secret especially when I visited her for lunch now I was able to stomach food.
Ralph deafened half of New York with the squeal he let loose. I reminded Faith that was why I didn't want to tell too many people. I was back on that bed but this visit didn't require the stirrups which I was very happy about. I didn't even need one of those attractive gowns either. She just had me push my top up and my pants down to my panty line.
She puts the gel over the scanner and warns me it will be cold. I brace myself for it, kinda jumping a little when the scanner comes in contact with my belly.
"Okay, let's get started" She says moving it around.
Faith is holding my hand tight against her chest and I peek over at her.
Her eyes are staring at the screen in wonder. I smile and turn back to the screen.
"Now do you want to know the sex?"
"Sure" Faith says.
We hadn't discussed it because we were pretty sure we were having a girl.
"Okay well we will go to that end shall we? So far everything looks perfect. All organs are formed, the heart is pulsing away."
We watch as we see the outline of our baby become clearer. I can see her legs kicking about.
"Wow they are going to be fun in a few months time" I say.
"She gets that from you."
"ME!" I exclaim.
"Yeah, my bruised legs are proof."
"From what?"
"Your kicking…you are terrible in your sleep."
"Oh, sorry about that."
"Hey you are pregnant."
"Gee thanks for the concession."
She gives me a dimply grin that lets me know she is teasing.
"Okay Mommies…bad news."
We look at Dr. Anderson.
"Baby Lehane may have been kicking 30 seconds ago but they must have heard us talking and are now crossing their legs."
"That is a totally Buffy thing to do. We are so having a girl!" Faith says.
"I don't know Faith. The way Buffy is carrying at the moment there is a good chance it is a boy" Dr. Anderson says.
"Nah trust me Doc…it is a girl" Faith says.
Dr. Anderson has an annoyed look on her face.
"Way to piss off the Doctor that is in charge of my cha cha for the next 5 months" I scold her.
Faith just rolls her eyes at me.
I watch her press a button and then I hear a weird pulsing noise.
"What is that?" I ask.
"Your baby's heartbeat."
"Oh my" I say softly choking back tears.
Faith softly kisses the back of my hand that she is holding a few times.
I keep my eyes squarely on the screen and watch as I see the baby's arm move as if they were waving to us.
"Did you see that?" Faith asks.
"Uh huh. Hey Bubba" I gently rub my other hand over my belly where there is no gel "I can see you."
"Me too" Faith leans forward and kisses my belly "You behave in there missy, no more making Mommy sick okay."
We watch the scan for a few more minutes then Dr. Anderson finishes it up. She cleans up the gel and I fix up my clothes and we go back in to her office.
Dawn's engagement party so far has been frightfully boring. I think it is just something Sissy wanted to get in the social pages of the New York Times.
I am kinda a little bummed anyway because Faith had to leave early to head off to Peru.
There was this very virile Succubus demon that needed a top team so Giles had her head a team assembled with Kennedy and Rhona plus a few of our best students.
She left over 2 hours ago to get on a private jet to LA. There she Tess and Kennedy would meet up with Rhona and one of her best Rhian.
"Hey" Dawn plops down next to me.
"Hey, enjoying your party?" I smile.
"Nope."
"I can't even drink to make it seem better."
"Trent has been missing for the last half hour and Janice took off 15 minutes ago saying that if the party got any more boring she would start stabbing herself with her fork just to distract her from the boredom."
"Wanna go up to your room and order room service and pay per view porn?"
Dawn looks at me.
"What? Sissy is footing the bill and wouldn't you just love to see her face when you got to check out tomorrow and she has to sign for big butt sluts."
"Oooh yeah lets go" She says standing up.
I follow her and we head over to the elevators.
"What is it with rich people and stupid parties like this? I am so glad that us getting money hasn't made our taste this…I mean seriously Buffy what kind of fucking décor is it?"
"Oh the richer you are the tackier it becomes Dawn. The more stuff that is gold or painted gold then the higher your bank account is."
"And the lower your IQ is."
"Exactly…good luck marrying in to it" I say as the elevator doors open.
"Faith has money and she isn't a pretentious tool like them" She says as we get on the elevator.
"She may not be pretentious but she can still be a tool" I smile.
Dawn selects our floor "Trent is nothing like them either. I am just glad I get to plan the wedding other wise I will be eating a gold wedding cake off a gold plate while wearing a gold dress."
"And puffy sleeves. The rich people love the puffy sleeves."
She puts her head in her hands.
"At least you have Trent to share this awful night with. My tool is thousands of miles in the air well on her way to LA by now."
"Yeah he has been a big help leaving me standing there talking to his Great Uncle Jeremy who smells like shrimp!"
"Ew! Gold shrimp?" I smile.
"Uh huh" She says just as the doors to get off open.
We leave the elevator and head down to her room.
"Are you going to have the wedding here?"
"We are meeting with the wedding planner to view the grand ballroom at 10 tomorrow."
"You mean we weren't in the grand ballroom just now?"
She fishes around in her bag for her key "No that was a conference room."
"Wow…Makes our conference room at the academy look like the janitor's closet."
She finds her key and swipes it in the door.
We make our way in to the room which also would make the conference room at the academy look like a janitor's closet. And that is hard because our conference room is pretty modern and state of the art.
"Holy Moly Dawn" I look around in wonder as I walk down the marble hallway.
I reach the living room and stop dead in my tracks. There on the couch is a very naked Trent and an equally naked Janice going at it like rabbits.
"What is it with this guy and couches" I say.
"What?" Dawn says from behind me "WHAT THE FUCK!"
I cover my ears and move to the side of the entry way as Dawn barrels in to the room.
Janice and Trent jump up pretty quickly and again I see more of that guy than I need to also some Janice parts I didn't need to see.
"What the fuck are you doing?"
"Uh…having sex with Janice."
"Oh really Einstein. I mean what the fuck are you doing?" She punches his arm.
"Is this a trick question?"
"Are you honestly that fucking stupid?"
"I would have to go with yes, we just caught him screwing your best friend on the night of your engagement party" I say.
Dawn shoots me a look and I instantly shut up.
I notice Janice making her way to the hallway out of the corner of my eye. I stop her from making a hasty exit.
"Oh no sweetie, Dawn is going to rip shreds off you too. I suggest you put those panties back on as well as the rest of your outfit and buckle up" I usher her back over to the couch.
"Dawnie do you need me to stick around?" I ask.
"Grab my bag from the bedroom and head home I will be there shortly" She answers.
I make my way to the bedroom and spot her overnight bag. I go in to the bathroom and pack up her stuff from in there and what was left lying in the bedroom and pack it up and head home.
Dawn did meet me there nearly an hour after I get home. She isn't crying but she is pissed. She has been pacing the living room for about 45 minutes. I offered her Faith's little work out area to let off some steam but she prefers the pacing I guess.
I called Faith's cell and left a message letting her know what had happened but that she was okay and to call when she gets to Peru. I know she will call when she lands in LA no matter what I say but depending on Dawn…she may be going through her heartbreaking sobbing stage and if that is the case I will take the phone off the hook and turn our cell phones off.
I can feel vibrating under my cheek…I sit up. I fell asleep in the kitchen and my phone was ringing.
"Hello" I say raspily.
"Hey" It is Faith.
"Hi."
"So I got your message."
"You in LA?"
"Peru."
"Already?" I get up off the stool it is still dark.
"Already I left nearly 24 hours ago."
"Huh…I slept all day at the kitchen counter."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah…I don't know what time I fell asleep up Dawnie and I were up talking til about 4 ish" I head to our guest room where Dawn sleeps when she stays over.
I quietly open the door. She is curled up sleeping soundly.
"How is she?"
"Angry mainly" I close the door softly behind me.
"No doubt. Fucking punk."
"Yeah. We walked in on them going at it on the hotel room couch."
"What is it with that guy and couches" She says.
"I said the same thing" I smile "she tore shreds off them from what I can gather. She was giving him an earful when I left."
"You left her alone with them?"
"She asked me to!"
"Are they still alive?"
"Yeah Trent kept calling. We had to take the phone off the hook and her cell is off. We also let Manny know he wasn't welcome."
"Shit…I gotta go Princess. We have to get started pretty much straight away on this search and destroy mission. It is wiping out villages left right and centre but I will keep in contact with you as often as I can."
"Okay. Stay safe baby."
"I will…hey B, put the phone to your belly I wanna say good night to my little French fry."
"Okay" I hold the phone to my belly and laugh. I can feel the vibrations of her voice on my belly and it tickles. I put it to my ear when I feel it stop.
"You still there?" I ask.
"Yeah. I will talk to you soon okay?"
"Yes. Promise me you will stay safe."
"I promise. I love you."
"Love you too."
I listen to the phone go dead and then close my phone with a sigh. I hope she isn't away too long.
Back in the present.
So there you are, up to date on the history of Buffy and Faith. From our first day together in Sunnydale to now. Me waiting for her to get home from Peru. She and the others triumphantly got on the plane about 17 hours ago to head back to the US. There is going to be a quick debrief when they get to LA and then she and Ken will be winging their way back to NY where there will be an even longer debriefing…just a little more private and just for Faith.
Who would have thought that at 6 months pregnant all you wanna do is screw! I have been like this for two weeks and she has been away for that whole time.
I am nervous about seeing her because she has been away for nearly 4 weeks. Jnr and I have grown a bit plus a letter arrived yesterday from Bedford Hills Correctional Facility which is where Faith's Mom is currently serving her time. No word from Grams yet. Faith sent them both a letter about 6 weeks ago.
Dawn moved back in with us after the Trent incident. She really seems okay with it. We have talked about it a few times and she sounds almost relieved at the fact that she is no longer getting married to him.
She did say that she felt she had so much expectation on her especially with being the sister of a slayer and I felt bad for her because she said she often felt like she had grown up in my shadow and had never been seen for herself and when Sissy showered her with so much attention she let herself get caught up in it all because she felt someone wanting to get close to her for her.
I reassured Dawn that we don't expect anything from her other her to be Dawn and also to baby sit for us occasionally once in a while.
"Buffy?" I hear her voice.
I walk out of the nursery I had just been working in "Yeah?"
"I uh…have an exam and I brought a few people around for a study session is that okay?"
"Of course" I walk into the main living area and see a couple of people sitting at the dining table facing me and one with his back to me "Hey" I wave.
I get waves back then see one of the guys whisper to the girl he was next to.
"I thought her sister was gay" He says.
"She is" She replies.
"Well how does a gay girl get pregnant?"
"Seems to me like you need this study session" I say and the whisperers look up at me "Just because you whisper doesn't mean people can't hear you."
"Sorry Ma'am."
"Don't worry about it. I am used to it."
"Buffy that is Jim and Andrea and this here is Cooper" She gestures to the boy who has his back to me. He turns and smiles at me. Chock full of dimples and he has the softest chocolate brown eyes that I have ever seen…well the second set I have ever seen. I look at him again then I drop the screwdriver I was holding on the floor and he is up in an instant by my side.
"Are you okay?" He asks.
"Uh…fine, thank you" I pat his arm "Cooper is it?"
"Yes. Cooper Scrimshaw. I just transferred from Harvard. NYU has a much better paediatrics program."
Oh my god this is Faith's brother. Not from the Harvard comment but the Scrimshaw. I am certain that was a name I had read when I found her Grandfather's diaries. Even if I am wrong about the surname all I have to do is look in those eyes and know they are Lehane eyes.
I look over at Dawn "I think I am going to lie down, would you mind helping me?"
"Sure."
"Nice to meet you all" I say to her guests then let Dawn help me to our bedroom. I get situated on the bed and tell her to close the door. She does so but goes to leave "I mean to close it come back here."
"Oh" She comes back in and closes the door behind her.
"That is Faith's brother."
"I know! How cool is that."
"You know?"
"Buffy I took one look at the guy and knew."
"Does he know?"
"I don't think so…he is new this year. Has only been here for a month maybe."
"Faith will be home later tonight. If they see each other."
"I know!"
"Dawn you can't do that to her."
"Why not?"
"Because she made a choice when she found out about him. She didn't want to approach him or find out where he was. She didn't want his life turned upside down. As far as he knows his parents are his parents."
"He knows they aren't."
"Dawn no we can't."
"He wants to find his birth Mom."
"His birth Mom thinks he is dead."
"He doesn't think she is. Cooper and I have been talking a lot. He says he knows he has been shielded from a lot and that he knows he wasn't adopted. He gets money from some anonymous fund each month and he has been paying someone to trace where it is coming from. He traced it to New York that is why he transferred."
"I will not let you spring this on Faith. She has been away for a month and she doesn't want to walk in the door and come face to face with her brother!"
"How do you know?"
"I know Faith. She will not appreciate it one little bit."
"He is out there now in the dining room. Remember what picture is on the wall in that room?"
A photo from our wedding. Her and I standing on the shore on the beach near our reception.
"DAWN!"
"What?"
"You are unbelievable. You can not fuck with people's lives like that. It isn't fair."
"And what happened to Cooper was. He was robbed of his sister."
"Has he spoken about his life at all?"
"Yes."
"What did he say?"
"Grew up in the better part of Boston. His Dad is an executive with one of the largest banks in America and his mother is a CEO of a dot com company" She offers by way of explanation.
"So because his parents are rich we are to assume what? That he was neglected, left to play with his nanny and the help?"
"Well yeah, that is kinda what happened."
I sigh "It still isn't right Dawn. It isn't fair on either of them. You want to talk to Faith about it then that is okay but you are not to let her walk in here and see him."
"When will she be home? We really do need to study."
"Maybe by 9 tonight at the latest. They should be in LA for a few hours before flying home."
"She is in LA now?"
"Yeah."
"Can I call her?"
"No, you can not do it over the phone either!"
"BUFFY!"
Oh crap looks like we won't have to. I get up off the bed and Dawn and I make our way to the living area.
Faith is standing in the entrance way just off our kitchen and she is looking at the dining table full of people, well actually only Cooper. Both of them have the same completely freaked out look on their face.
"You are in so much trouble Dawn, so much trouble" I say before going over to Faith "Hey Baby" I stand between her and Cooper. She is looking over my shoulder at him. "Baby" I put my hand on her chin and try to guide her face down to mine. I succeed but her pesky eyes won't move off Cooper. "Faith sweetie can you hear me?"
"Uh huh."
"You wanna come with me in to the kitchen. I bet you are hungry after your flight."
"I think I am nearly starved to death…I mean I think I am hallucinating right now."
I put my hands on her arms "So kitchen then?"
She nods still looking at Cooper.
"Okay" I manage to guide her in to the kitchen…shit it was a good idea til I remember we have a fairly open plan apartment. The kitchen over looks the dining room. Just the counter tops and our breakfast nook separate the two rooms.
"What do you want? I have Fudgsicles in the freezer ready and raring to go and I got you all your favourite flavours of hot pockets when I went shopping yesterday."
She is a lost cause. There is no way I am getting her attention while Cooper is in our house.
I decide to get her a couple of hot pockets anyway. I go over to our fridge and open the freezer section and as I reach up to the pepperoni pockets I feel a sharp pain in my stomach.
"Ouch" I hold my belly "Fuck" I curse softly. I go for the hot pockets again and feel another sharp pain.
I close the freezer door and step back from the fridge.
"Buffy are you okay?" Dawn comes up to me.
"Yeah…just tried to reach the pockets and felt a nice jab of pain in the belly."
She puts her hand on it "Kicking pain or actual pain."
"Actual pain" I say.
"Can you feel pain now?"
"No."
"Okay" She presses her fingers to my neck and looks at her watch.
I wait silently as she takes my pulse.
"Your pulse is fine. Do you feel warm?"
"No."
"Dizzy?"
"No?"
"Short of breath?"
"No but I do need to pee."
"Okay, if you see spots of blood let me know."
"Don't worry you will know" I head to the bathroom and take off my shorts as I reach for my panties I notice that they are already down in my shorts. No blood just snapped elastic in about 3 different places.
"Huh…well I will be keeping that to myself" I say then do what I need to do and fix myself up.
I go back out into the apartment of awkwardness. Faith is still looking at Cooper and he is still looking at her. Jim and Andrea are nowhere to be seen.
"You okay?" Dawn asks.
"Yep, peed like a race horse."
"Nothing else?"
"No nothing else and stop acting all caring and concerned you are in so much trouble for this."
"Hey! It isn't my fault she came back early."
"You just sprung it on me too. Put me in an awkward position. You know I wouldn't be able to keep something like that from her."
"Buffy he came here looking for his family…Faith deserves to know her family too."
"You shouldn't have made that choice for her though. You should have let her know and made up her own mind. I think you broke her!" I gesture towards Faith "She has just spent a month in the Amazon. She is probably tired, needing a good shower and a decent sleep as well as a decent meal and she comes home and walks in to an ambush."
She is silent for a bit "I guess I didn't think."
"NO YOU DIDN'T" Faith yells.
"Uh oh" Dawn says.
"You wanna bet uh fucking oh. What the hell did you think you were doing?" Faith stalks over to her.
"Well studying."
"Don't play fucking games with me. Is that or is that not my brother sitting at that table."
"It is."
"Why is he here?"
"Again with the studying."
Faith is quite upset. I can feel the anger just coming off her in waves. It is hurting a little which is strange…I haven't felt a connection like this with her before.
"You better have him gone by the time I get out of the shower" She walks off leaving Dawn standing there counting her blessings.
I head over to Cooper "Are you okay?" I ask him.
"Yeah…I think so…I just…that is my sister?"
I nod.
"She's intense."
"Yeah" I smile.
"I recognise her."
"From?"
"Dreams…I knew early on that my parents weren't my parents. They had two other kids and I looked nothing like them. So I was either the milk man's son or not theirs at all…plus I never felt like I fit or like I belonged."
"So you have dreamt of Faith?"
"Yeah…I just…"
"Yeah I think she kinda feels that way too right now."
"Really she just kinda seems pissed."
"It isn't about you. It is all about Dawn. What she did was wrong. She just sprung this on both of you. If it was under different circumstances I am sure the meeting of each other for the first time would have been much better."
"Did she know about me?"
"Yeah she did."
"And why didn't she try and find me?"
"I think that is something you need to talk to Faith about."
"I don't think she will ever want to talk."
"She will…she has been away on a business trip for nearly a whole month and she walks in the door and saw you…she is in totally shock right now. We need to let her deal and come around to the idea that you are actually here wanting to get to know her."
"Okay. You think she will want to?"
"I do. Faith wants nothing more than to have her family in her life."
"So is it okay that I still hang out with Dawn?"
"Sure…if you like self punishment" I smile.
He grins a little, yep just like his sister. Oh boy!
"What do you mean we are having a boy?" I say.
"Well the fact that I can clearly see on the screen the testes and penis" Dr. Anderson says.
"Well fuck me" Faith said "We are having a boy."
"I did the nursery in pink!" I say in a panic.
"I will just repaint it."
"The clothes! I have girly clothes."
"We can swap them. It is all fixable."
"Are you sure?" I ask Dr. Anderson.
"I am…Baby Lehane is flashing them about all over the place today. Seems to have gotten over the shyness of his last scan."
"He gets that from Faith."
Faith has the proudest smile on her face.
"That was not a compliment."
"I know it wasn't but we are havin' a boy B" I have a feeling the smile is a permanent fixture.
"A little girl, we are meant to be having a little girl" I remind her.
"Well we ain't" She shrugs her shoulders.
"I had girl names all picked out Faith and the cutest outfits to dress her in."
"Well we have 2 months to think of boy names and get cute boy clothes."
"I guess."
"B don't be so disappointed. We can try for a girl next time."
I know I shouldn't be upset over the fact we are having a boy…I just am though. I got attached to the fact I was having a girl. Her middle name was going to be Joyce and she would cuddle up to Mr. Gordo and wear the pretty pink dresses that I had brought for her.
"Aw B don't cry."
I look at Faith "I just had…ideas!"
"I know but remember when we knew we were havin' a baby we said it didn't matter if it were a boy or girl…It's our baby in there" She runs her fingers over my belly "I get what you are thinking but it ain't nothin' that we can't fix plus I am kinda jazzed that we won't have a kid that you will get to put in pastels at every fricken chance" She smiles.
I laugh a little wiping at my tears.
"Some of those dresses B were just plain awful. She would have ended up hating you for makin' her wear them. You pull out the album to show her friends at her 14th birthday sleepover party and she is wearing that pepto bismol coloured lace number and all her friends laugh and she won't talk to you for a week. I am saving you from future mother daughter fight angst."
"I think I am screwed no matter what we have. You are going to be the favourite parent anyway."
"Well I am always the favourite. It is just how it is" She kisses my forehead.
I sigh and turn back to Dr. Anderson who has just cleaned my stomach. I pull my shirt down.
"I really should have known it was a boy. The way he kicks leaves me in tears sometimes."
"Powerful kicker huh?" She smiles.
"You have no idea. You likes to play Nine Inch Nails to him…it makes him kick and punch for hours."
"Wait til he is old enough for me to give him sugar" She says.
I am doomed. In a couple of months time I am going to have 2 babies to look after.
In the kitchen making lemonade. Faith has been in the nursery all morning repainting so I making sure she has something nice and refreshing to drink when she comes out for her lunch.
I put some ice in a glass and pour the lemonade in and place it next to the plate that is currently occupied by her sandwich.
"Baby lunch is ready" I call out to her.
A minute or so later she walks out. She looks so cute with paint smudged over her left cheek.
"Oh baby you look like you have been working hard" I walk up to her.
"I have, second coat is on and should be dry in a couple of hours."
"You are the best wife ever" I smile and give her a kiss.
She puts her arms around me and pulls me against her "Damn B, how big is this belly gonna get? It is messing with all my normal moves to get a little sugar from you."
"You have to reach an extra few inches for a kiss…oh heaven forbid."
"I am a simple woman with simple needs. Sugar and lots of it."
"You know I think it is time you started working for your sugar. I give it up way too easy."
"Well ya don't get pregnant from keeping ya legs closed."
"That's a shitty thing to say" I pull back from her and head back to the kitchen.
"Aww snookums I am just playin' with ya."
Her arms slide around me from behind and she is kissing over my neck in all the right places.
I turn in her arms and crash my mouth to hers. Within minutes we are naked in the middle of our bed.
I am straddling her lap. It is really the only way we can make love now, my belly impedes every other style. Every other style apart from doggy as Faith likes to remind me but while I am with child I don't really feel comfortable doing it that way.
The feel of her clit against mine shakes me from my thoughts. I slide my hands in to her hand and dig my nails in to her scalp.
"Doesn't take much to get you going these days" She breathes.
"When has it ever taken us much to get going?" I respond.
"You make an excellent point."
I roll my hips into her and start up a rhythm.
Her head is buried in my neck, her lips placing soft kisses right in the crook of my neck. It is the most sweetest spot on my neck and it is currently driving me insane. If she keeps this up we won't have been making love for more than a minute before I come.
"Faith…you need to ohshitohshitohshitohshitohsitohshitohshit."
Too late.
She pulls back and looks at me. I put my forehead on hers "Sorry."
"For what?" She rubs my back softly.
"Coming."
She smiles "You aren't done yet. I did that to take the edge off for ya."
The last few weeks…well ever since I became pregnant really I always came before she did. Some nights she wouldn't even get to come. I would and then be out like a light.
"I figure I give you a nice soft little ungh then together we can have a nice big one."
"I have been kind of a guy with my orgasms haven't I?"
"Totally" She smiles so I know she isn't upset over it.
"Then again I think I have always been a little selfish when in bed with you."
"If I got to fuck me then I would be selfish too."
"Gee I am sorry that sleeping with me is such a chore."
"Sometimes you gotta put in hours at the office even when you don't want to."
She doesn't want to sleep with me? I climb off her.
"Smooch where are you goin'?"
"Saving you from having to put in unwanted hours at the office" I grab my robe and put it on.
"You took me seriously?"
"Lets be honest here Faith. You have always been better than me at most things including the sex…and we also know that your little jibes at me always seem to stem from some kind of truth. I get it I suck at sex no pun intended and now I am pregnant I am even more screwed up when it comes to sex."
"Jesus Buffy. You are taking a stupid comment way out of context."
"Am I?" I fold my arms across my chest.
"Yeah. Sex with you is freaken awesome."
"Just not as good as fucking yourself. Well that is fine you can go fuck yourself" I walk in to the ensuite and slam the door closed.
"Fuck…I will not miss these mood swings once she squirts this kid out."
"This is not a mood swing!" I yell at the door. It totally is but who does she think she is pissing off a pregnant woman.
"Damn slayer hearing."
I am over being pregnant. Faith however is in love with me being pregnant…apart from the mood swings of course.
I am lying on the couch trying to watch House but she is on insisting on talking to my stomach.
Her head is resting on my upper thighs so she is basically talking to the bottom part of my bump.
For the last half hour she has been telling him about the naked alligator wrestling she did on her way to Sunnydale.
"Do you really think that naked stories about his mother are good for little Harry?" I ask as the show goes to commercials.
She sits up "He has gotta learn what we do B."
"You don't know that while he can hear us he doesn't understand us."
"And there is no way we are calling him Harry."
"Why not?"
"It reminds me of Prince Harry."
"Who?"
"Prince Harry…brother of Prince William son of Prince Charles and Diana."
"Ohhhhh" I still have no idea who she means.
"You have no idea do you?"
"Nope" I smile.
"How about Coal?"
"Coal…our heater is gas."
She rolls her eyes "C-O-L-E, Cole a name for our son."
"Oh Cole" Cole, Cole…Cole I say the name over in my head. It sounds pretty cool to me "I suppose."
"Maybe we should make up a list. We each get to pick say 5 names and then we swap lists and see if we agree on any."
"I want the name to mean something…not something sappy either. Something strong."
"Okay" She sits up and picks up a book we have on the coffee table then hands me a pad and a pen "Make two columns and title one Faith and one Buffy. I will read out some names from the book and if you like it I will read out the meaning and if we really like it we put it on the list."
This sounds exciting although I kinda do wanna wait til I meet my little boy before I fully decide on a name. "Faith do we have to pick one right away though. Can we just keep them in the back of our heads? We may say okay little man you are going to be Jim but when he comes out he looks like a Bill."
"I will tell ya right now B. My kid ain't gonna look like a Jim or a Bill…or a Bob a Nigel a Glen a Philip a Peter a Fred a Charles or any kinda geek name."
"Fred and Charles work for Fred and Charles."
"Fred and Charles?" She frowns.
"Fred and Gunn."
"Oh…and no pissy name like Liam or Angel."
"Yeah I was planning on naming the baby I am having with my wife after my first boyfriend" I snort.
She ignores me and opens the book of baby names "Okay this is pretty cool. Right at the front of the book they have a list of the most popular names from the last few years…all I have to do is look up the meaning."
I watch as she scans the page she has open in front of her.
"Okay…How do you feel about biblical names?"
"Moses may work for Gwyneth but not us keep looking."
"Logan."
"No reminds of that guy who Rory dated in Gilmore Girls. I did not like him."
"I really like the name Caleb but preacher dude really ruined it for me."
"Yeah, what does it mean?"
She flips through the pages "Uh…rage like a dog."
"Makes sense" I say.
"Avery."
"No…That is like a bird cage Faith."
"Jacob?"
"Yep, that is on my list" I say writing it down.
"You don't even want to know the meaning?"
"I know that one. It means supplanter."
She looks at me "And that sounds good to you?"
"Much better than rage like a dog or bird cage boy."
"S'pose" She says turning back to the book "Keegan…means small and fiery or bright flame."
"Can I start a maybe list as well?"
"We will end up with more maybes than actual names."
"Do you want it on you list of 5?"
"Yeah I do."
I write down Keegan on her list.
"Joshua?"
"Too many Joshuas."
"Name one you know."
"Josh O'Donnell."
"Who is that?"
"I went to school with him."
"So far that is one Joshua."
"If you want it I can put it on your list."
"Nah…too common these days."
I shake my head as she looks through the book again and looks up meaning "Mason…it means stone worker" She says.
"Stone Worker Lehane."
"Never mind. Put Cole on my list."
"What does it mean?"
"Victory of the people."
I put it on her list.
"It derives from the name Nicholas too…Cole and Nicholas…the both mean victory of the people" She says softly.
"Oh well that rules it out then."
"Why?" She spins around to look at me.
"Well his middle name is going to be Nicholas you can't have a first name and a middle name that means the same."
I see tears well in her eyes.
"Is that okay?"
She nods.
"You sure?"
"Uh huh. I would have thought you would have wanted to pay homage to G-Man or somethin' like that."
"I have Rupert or Giles to choose from…I love Giles but no thanks."
She turns back around and looks at the book again "Well if that is going to be his middle name the first one has to be good enough to go with it."
"It will be."
We spend the rest of the afternoon going through names and we actually struggled to get to 5 each.
Her 5 were Keegan, Zachary, Lucas, Tyler and Asher. Mine were Jacob, Owen, Carter, Samuel and Blake.
She said some of mine were fruity names and that if we went with them then our kid was going to get teased. I didn't like all of her names either. I mean come on who ever heard of a kid called Keegan! It is like a name of a sport shoe or something.
I am pretty sure we are going to change our minds a few times before the baby comes anyway. We still have a whole month or arguing between us.
Great maybe we need to come up with a list of top 5 things we fight about.
1 would easily be Cooper. She is being really stubborn about getting to know him. He and Dawn get on really well and with them being at school together and having all the same classes he is over quite a bit for study sessions. She always makes excuses to leave when he is around.
The second thing we fight about is the fact that she is supposed to be on leave from the academy until well after the baby is born but she is still going in every day. She says it is just to check on things but she is gone nearly all day and says she got caught up with training or volunteered to take a class for a teacher that needed to run some errands. We started Lamar's last week and she didn't even show up. Apparently a sewer demon needed to be taught a lesson.
Number 3 again is Cooper. The fights have been massive so it deserves to be on the list twice.
4 is baby stuff. What mural to put in the nursery now it has been repainted, whether I am going to breast feed or put him straight on to formula so we are both able to participate in the feeding, how old do we start teaching him about slaying, how old do we start teaching him about our family history…do we take him to visit Faith's mom or even to Boston to meet Grams despite the fact she still hasn't answered Faith's letter. She and her Mom have been writing for a while now and she does plan to visit her as soon as she musters up the courage.
5 is that I am not resting enough but I don't know how she would know this when she is at the friggen academy all day long.
So I while I can't wait for the baby to get here I kinda can because I am just imaging those 5 topics up for discussion on 3 hours sleep a night while caring for a new born baby.
What the hell did we get ourselves in to!
Holy shit…holy shit! I am at home alone and I am in trouble.
I have been having Braxton hicks contractions for a few days now so I decided I would have a nice warm bath. It has worked every other time to calm me and junior down and stop the pain but tonight as I got the bath ready and undressed my waters broke. All manageable I know but as I went to grab my clothes I slipped in the broken water and rolled my ankle badly so I am now sitting totally fucking naked in our bathroom unable to move or put any weight on my foot.
You would think that fact that I am a slayer would give me the strength to be able to stand up, get dressed and get my stubborn ass wife home from work so she can take me to the hospital but no it seems to have deserted me right now.
I have managed to reach my singlet and put that back on.
My contractions have gone from 8 minutes to about 4 minutes apart over the last hour and I am starting to get really scared.
I have tried my ankle a few times but I kinda just fall back down. I could try hopping on my good foot but I am scared of falling over and hurting the baby.
I have even tried scooching across the floor on my ass out even that is hurting my ankle.
I can hear a lock in the door "Oh thank god."
"Buffy?" I hear. It is Cooper.
How did he get a key? Okay not important right now "Cooper…Cooper."
"Buff? Dawn gave me the keys…she is downstairs with Manuel arguing about something but she said I could come up."
"Cooper I am in our bathroom and I need help" I can feel a contraction start "Oh shit…oh shit" I start to breathe through it.
"Hey…oh crap!" He says.
"My water broke and I slipped in it and my ankle…I thought I had just rolled it but I think I may have broken it cause I can't move."
"Contractions?" He is looking at my ankle.
"4 minutes apart."
"Where is Faith?"
"Where do you think?"
"At work."
"Yeah."
"Okay I will call her and I will call an ambulance. I don't think I should move you. I can check you over if you like but would you prefer Dawn to do it?"
"Please don't leave me."
"I will grab the phone from your room. I have towels and water in here…Let me know if you need to push."
He grabs a couple of towels and puts one over my legs then rushes out. I can hear him picking up the phone and dialling.
"Faith it is Cooper you need to get home right now. Buffy is in labour and I don't think we have enough time to get her to a hospital. I am about to call an ambulance but you need to get home as soon as you get this message."
He left her a message! "Call the academy. Speed dial 8" I call out in pain.
"Okay" He comes in "Uh Hi Ralph…my name is Cooper. I am friends with Dawn, I am at her place now and Buffy has gone in to labour and she can't get hold of Faith…well I think this warrants the meeting being interrupted…So they bite your head off, Buffy has a human coming out of her…You want me to put Buffy on the phone?"
I grab the phone from him "Ralph you get Faith on her way home right now or I swear to god I will come down there once I have finished giving birth and fucking kill you."
"Okay right away" He squeaks.
"Good boy" I hang up.
Cooper takes the phone and dials 911 he gets instructions and is on the phone with them for what feels like forever.
I breathe through another contraction. This is closer than the last one and much more painful.
"Coooooooooooopppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr" I cry out in agony.
"Do you need to push?"
"I think so."
"Okay I am just going to take a quick look for medical purposes only, not for pleasure at all. I would never ever do that to you…or to Faith either. I know she doesn't want anything to do with me but I am here as a doc-"
"Cooper just look" I say through gritted teeth.
"Alright" He moves in front of my legs and lifts the towel "the baby is crowning so on the next contraction you are going to have to push."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah I am sure. Just if you do push try not to use too much slayer strength."
"What will happen?"
"Well a slayer push compared to a normal push…I am not sure but it might uh make the baby shoot out."
"What?" I am pretty sure my eyes are doing the cartoon pop out thing right now.
"Might I said might."
"Cooper?" I could hear Dawn.
"In here" He calls out.
"Cooper?"
"Buffy and Faith's ensuite."
She walks in "If they catch you…oh my god."
"She's in labour."
"I can see that" Dawn kneels beside me and starts to take my pulse "How far apart."
"The baby is crowning" I say.
"How do you know?"
"Cooper."
She looks at him.
"What was he supposed to do Dawn. He is almost a doctor."
"Faith is going to freak out."
"He didn't look for a good time. I have seen Knocked Up that was not a pretty sight and let's be honest would you want to swap places with him?"
"No, I think I will be fine up here."
"I am gonna push" I say and take a deep, deep breath.
"Okay Buffy, you can do it" He says.
I start to do the pushing and I can feel every thing that is going on down there. I can feel the head and the shoulders of the baby as they slide out.
"Okay relax now Buffy. I have the head and shoulders. Just take a few breaths to gather yourself and all we will need is one more push and your baby will be here."
Dawn holds my hand "Faith will be pissed we didn't tape this."
"I didn't want this taped. Why would you want to watch a baby come out of your private bits feeling it is enough…and anyway who could you show?"
"True."
"Pushing again…ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod" He is ripping me in two for sure "Shitshitshitshitshitfuckfuckshit."
I hear Dawn whimper next to me and let go of my hand.
"Shit Dawnie…oh motherfuckeriamgonnakillfaithwheniseehernext" I feel the baby slide out. This is weird, fucking painful but weird.
"That's it Buffy. Well done."
I whimper and fall back. I hear the cries of my son and sit up again. Pain forgotten. I just want to see my boy.
Cooper holds him up, he is all wrinkly and red and totally pissed off and I just fell in love.
"Okay I am just going to wrap him up and tie off his cord. If Faith gets here soon she can cut it."
I wait a bit then he puts the baby on my chest. He looks at me and stops crying right away.
"Heya Boof" I smile "It's me your Mommy" I run my finger over his cheek.
He takes a big breath in and keeps studying me.
"I am gonna love you so much…I already do love you so much" I cry I feel Dawn rub my back.
I spend the next few minutes just adoring my son and letting Dawn take some pictures just for Faith.
The ambulance people arrive and are about to cut the cord but Faith bursts in to the room.
"Wait!" I say "Wait. My wife is here, she is going to cut the cord."
She silently walks over to the paramedics and takes the scissors and cuts the cord. She comes up and kneels by me.
"Hey Smooch" She smiles at me.
"Hey."
"Hey Boof" She lowers her head and kisses his forehead.
"You can take him" I say to her.
She gently takes him from my arms and I watch as she too falls instantly in love with our little boy.
We are lying on our bed with 'Boof' Lehane between us. We still haven't named him, we just keep calling him by the nickname he got during my last couple of weeks of pregnancy. I really ballooned out. We decided to wait and see a bit of his personality. So far he is just like Faith. He sleeps and only wakes for food or to poop or to complain that he wants food and needs to poop.
I had only been in hospital overnight. They wanted to make sure that the baby and I were okay and considering we were both fighting fit they sent us home.
My ankle was completely healed and Dr. Anderson was surprised at how well my other area had healed as well. I could explain the slayer thing but I don't wanna be taking care of our baby in a padded cell.
"I know this isn't on our list but Kale" I say.
"Kale Nicholas Lehane" She smiles.
"So we are agreed?"
"Yes."
"Hey Kale" I say to him.
He looks at me with his beautiful blue grey eyes and grabs my finger.
"I suppose we need to thank Copper in some way" Faith says.
I tear my eyes away from Kale to look at her.
"He uh, well he yunno."
"Yeah I do" I give her a soft kiss and a smile and return to watching Kale.
He isn't doing much at all and it is kinda hard to explain especially if you aren't a baby person but for the rest of my life all I wanna do is watch him.
"I have to break the cycle" she says.
"What do you mean?" I look back at her.
"This shitty family history thing. Up until I knew exactly what went down it wasn't that bad. Well okay it was bad with losing my Dad and the shit with my Mom and the whole evil uncle deal but between the Mom thing and the Uncle thing my life was pretty sweet. Based on lie after lie but I look at this little dude in front of me and there isn't anything I wouldn't to save him yunno?"
I understand perfectly. I answer with a nod.
"It don't make what Grams did right but she didn't have a choice. She found out that her son was taken from her…Known Boof for 23 hours and if I lost him then the world wouldn't know what had hit it."
She has so many emotions flitting across her face right now. I think she is figuring her thoughts out as she speaks them.
"All I want is a family. I have the beginnings of one with you two but it just feels like bits are missing."
"What kind of bits?"
"Grand parents…Uncles…It makes me so sad that he ain't gonna know Joyce. She would have made a chill Grandma and he has Dawnie as the kick ass Aunt but we have the chance to give him an Uncle that hopefully won't try and use him for world domination. My Mom…fuck… she is so excited at the fact she gets to be a Nanna. And what is stopping us from doing that?" She looks at me.
I don't know how to answer that so I don't.
"I know what spiel you are going to give me. We have the Scoobs. I am very grateful for that and while they may be an extension of our family they ain't our family."
I disagree with that and go to say so.
"You are going to disagree with that statement and that is fine. I am talking about blood B."
"Alright."
"My blood. He is gonna grow up surrounded by people that mean something to you. I bring nothin' into the equation."
"I am going to disagree again Faith. Yeah we have the scoobs and while they may not be blood they have been the closest thing we have both had to a family in a long time. It is sad that Kale won't get to know Mom on his own terms but that doesn't mean he won't know about her at all. It is the same for your Dad. He is going to know about them Faith. He is going to know that while most family figures we all get to grow up with have moved on from this life he is still loved very much by them. You can break the cycle anyway you want it doesn't mean you have to invite people back in to your life that you don't feel should be here. As far as I am concerned the two people that Kale needs to know are here in front of him right now. And you do bring something in to the equation."
"What?"
"You. You forget that the reason he is here is because of you, you forget the reason I am here is because of you. I think it is great your Mom is excited to be a Nanna and as soon as you are ready we will include her in all our lives…but baby don't ever doubt what you bring to our lives. All that matters to me is that you are here."
"What if he resents me for not including them in his life?"
"I think there is going to be a point in his life that no matter what we do he is going to resent us. He is going to be 16 years old full of attitude similar to that of ours and he is going to resent the hell out of us. You may have saved me from mother daughter angst but we are so gonna have mother son angst."
"He is a day old and he already has me thinkin' way too much for my liking."
"One day at a time baby. We have plenty of time. No need to figure it out all in one day."
"I can't wait to see him grow up."
"Oh I can. I think we should thoroughly enjoy the time where we are the ones in control."
"Face it B. There is no way we will ever be in control again. Boof holds all the power and I think he always will."
We resume our gazing of Kale and I know Faith is right. He has all the control and you know what. I am perfectly okay with that.
...continued in 2 Slayers and a Baby...