Untitled
by Slayer Tash
Rating: PG-13
“Stop laughing so hard” I hit Faith’s arm.
“I- can't- help- it” she has tears rolling down her face.
“It wasn’t even that funny.”
“Oh but it is B.”
I hit her again.
She rubs her arm but still laughs.
I get up off the bed.
“B don’t go.”
“Faith this is serious.”
She gets up and faces me “I know but you have to see the funny side Buffy.”
“Says who?”
“Those of us who were given a sense of humour.”
I roll my eyes at her.
“If you are that pissed off about it then maybe we shouldn’t be doing this.”
“It is just a quiz right.”
“Yeah a quiz” she looks down at her hands “You better go, the scoobs are probably wondering where you are. Don’t want them thinking the token good girl has been corrupted by big bad Faith.”
“Faith don’t be like that” I reach out to touch her but she pulls back.
“You better go B…I know how much you love being the good girl.”
“Faith.”
She turns her back on me and walks into the ensuite slamming the door.
“Great work Buffy” I sigh pulling my pants back on.
I finish getting dressed and I knock on the bathroom door.
“Faith are you coming?”
She doesn’t answer.
“Faith you were invited as well.”
“I think separate entrances will be better, don’t want anyone getting ideas.”
"Faith I-"
“Stop saying my name like that Buffy.”
“Like what?”
“Like you know me, like you care.”
“I do care.”
“Bullshit, you are here with me because it is convenient. A way to wind down after patrol.”
“Come out I don’t want to have this conversation with a door.”
“Conversation is over B” she opens the door and walks out. She is now dressed as well.
She goes over to her dresser and grabs a few things out of the draw.
“Faith talk to me.”
“Nothing to talk about Buffy, we better motor cause we are already late” she walks out of her room and I hear her heading downstairs.
I moan “Dammit Faith.”
I follow her she is putting her coat on, she throws me mine.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?” She opens the front door.
“For making you think that you don’t mean anything to me.”
“B I have never meant anything to anyone, why should you be any different” she walks out.
Fuck me, I wish she wouldn’t make a comment like that then walk off. She really pisses me off with that.
I lock up and head off in the direction Faith went. I didn’t see her again until I reached the cinema. She was standing waiting with Willow, Xander and Dawn.
“Hey guys sorry I am late.”
“We thought you two would have come together” Willow says.
“Why would we do that?”
“Ah she lives with us moron” Dawn says.
“Bite me Dawn” I am not in the mood for this now.
“Shouldn’t we get our tickets and go inside the film is starting” Faith says.
Xander holds up 5 bits of paper “Tickets taken care of. We knew you two being slayers were most likely to be late so I went and got them when I got here.”
“Guess I just need popcorn then” she walks inside dragging Xander with her.
“She seems pissed” Willow says to me.
“She is and it is all my fault.”
“Newsflash” Dawn says “It is always your fault.”
“I swear to god Dawn one more smart ass comment from your mouth and I will slap you.”
She just rolls her eyes at me and heads inside.
“What happened?”
“We did that quiz that was in one of your Lesbian magazines and it said I was attracted to the dark dangerous type of woman.”
Willow looks at me like I just spoke in Chinese.
“She thought it was funny and I didn’t.”
“So you are fighting over that?”
“Willow we had kind of…we had just had sex.”
If Willow’s eyes could do the token cartoon popping out of her head thing I am sure they would have right then and there.
“Y-you and Faith…sex?”
I nod “Since she came back, and even before then.”
“Before then when?”
“When she first came to Sunnydale.”
“Oh my god you didn’t tell me?”
“I am sorry Willow, it was all new to me and Faith wasn’t that phased about telling people back then. It kind of happened a few times after really heavy patrols.”
“So hungry and horny was true.”
“Pretty much.”
“Why is she so angry now?”
“I think this time it is more than just sex. Considering we live together now and pretty much fuck every chance we get.”
“You think you upset her when you didn’t find the type of person you were attracted to funny?”
I nod again “She thinks I don’t care about her.”
“Do you?”
“Of course I do Will, I wouldn’t be doing what I do with her if I didn’t love her.”
“You fucked Spike for convenience.”
“Am I ever going to live that down?”
“Nope.”
I sigh and head inside. Faith is standing with Dawn she has a huge tub of popcorn and is throwing bits of it at Dawn trying to get it into her mouth.
“Won’t you want soda with a tub that big?” I ask.
“I only had enough for one or the other. I have an appetite after this evening so the popcorn won out.”
“Oh.”
“Xander has gone in we were gonna wait for you let you know where we are sitting” Dawn said handing Will and I our ticket.
“Go ahead. I want to get a soda and some snacks, I will find you once I get in.”
“Whatever” Dawn grabs Faith’s arm and leads her inside the cinema.
I line up and grab myself and Faith two large sodas and I get a Whatchamacallit. I head inside. The ads have already started so it is kind of dark. I use my slayer abilities to feel out Faith. I find them up towards the back.
There is a spare seat next to Xander at the beginning of the row but also a couple spare after Faith. I decide to brave it and sit next to her.
I hand her the soda “You can't have popcorn without soda” I say.
“Thanks” she whispers keeping her eyes on the screen.
I set my drink in the cup holder and lean back into my chair “Faith” I whisper.
“Mmmm?” Eyes still facing the front.
“Faith I don’t want you to be mad at me.”
“Too bad you don’t decide how I feel” she looks at me.
I turn in my seat to face her front on “I freaked out and I am sorry. I do feel for you and I do care about you. Please don’t think that I don’t.”
“What did you freak out about?”
I look down at my hands “That you know me so well, that you have always known me so well.”
“We have a connection B. We are tapped into each other.”
“I know but to think you can figure me out from a stupid quiz that makes me pretty one dimensional don’t you think.”
“Not at all, you have to see the funny side B. My results showed I love cute little blondes who have a thing for pastels.”
I smile and look back at her “Did you just say love?”
“I am just repeating what the quiz answers said B.”
“Sure, cause if you did that would be okay.”
“Hey you two shut the fuck up” came from behind us.
Faith turned “What you are interested in half price muffler tune ups when you present your movie ticket at Sunnydale Tune Ups? Fuck you!” She turned back to me “I do if you do” she smiled.
“Are you getting sappy on me?”
“I don’t do sappy B, you know that.”
“If you two don’t shut up now I will get management.”
This time I turn around “How about you shut the fuck up and stop being so anal. They are fucking ads not a movie or a preview. And I have to say if you don’t pipe down I won’t need to get the manager I will just bitch slap you here and now.”
The guy slinks back into his seat and keeps his eyes forward.
I look at Faith “This is why the back row is always best.”
“B the back row is best for getting a little nookie.”
“I dunno, I think where I am sitting now is a perfect place for it.”
“B we are surrounded by people who don’t know about us yet…you want Dawn to find out this way.”
Dawn leans over “Find out what?”
“That I love Faith.”
“Duh...I live down the hall” she sits back in her seat.
Faith is smiling at me “Let's give Xander a heart attack.”
I lean in and we kiss passionately.
“How long?” Xander asks.
I can see Faith has some dirty comment on the tip of her tongue.
“A while” I say quickly.
“Since she has been back?”
“Since before X-man.”
“Before what?”
“Before the badness.”
His mouth is opening and closing and Dawn slaps him on the back of his head.
“Why did you go bad then?” He asks eventually.
Faith looks down at the road “Angel came back.”
“Now I know why you were so hell bent on staking the guy.”
“Yeah now you know why.”
“You saw them…like I did, didn’t you?”
“Xander I don’t really want to get into this it is all in the past” I say.
“Wait a second” Willow says “You went all crazy on us cause you got burned by Buffy?”
"Guys can we not do this. Faith is upset and I don’t-"
“Just shut it B. Don’t you think they deserve an explanation? I almost killed them and here I am back in their lives and they have no idea why. They tolerate me for your sake.”
"Faith I think we should talk about it first. I had no idea that you saw us or that-"
“Does it matter cause at the end of the day I remember you saying you can’t be with me, not when you loved someone else then walking out on me and then acting like nothing had happened the next day, do you know how that made me feel?”
“I-I can’t begin to imagine.”
“Exactly because you have always been the centre of someone’s universe. Your Mom’s, Angel’s, Riley’s, Spike’s, Dawnies even these guys. You have never in your life been dumped for the next best thing to come along. I have my entire life. It never mattered though because I never loved any of them the way I love you. I have always been the second fiddle, always. Even now with the fucking slaying. I am The Chosen One, not you. You passed on that right when you died and Kendra was called. Then when she died it was passed on to me. Nobody ever gave me a chance to be that either. You think this is all about you leaving me for Angel, that is just part of it Buffy and for some reason when it comes to talking about it you don’t want to hear in case it ruins the perfect little Buffy world you have built for yourself. A world that I never fitted into and most probably never will.”
I watch as tears slide down her face, I had never seen Faith cry. And it was killing me, to know that I was making the love of my life cry was killing me…but this wasn’t about me.
“I’m sorry…I don’t know what else to say other than I am sorry.”
“So am I, I can’t ever be anyone but me and I hate that you expect me to be someone else. I am sorry I can’t be what you want me to be.”
“I don’t want you to be anyone else Faith. I love you for who you are not what I want you to be.”
It is silent, I look at my friends and they are all looking at us in total shock.
Faith is still crying, I move over to comfort her but she backs away.
“I need to be elsewhere right now B.”
“Okay but Faith I love you, you and only you. Not what you think I want you to be you or what others think you should be. I love you for who you are now I love you for who you were. I love you and I always have I have just been too Buffy to see it. I will always love you.”
“Okay Whitney Houston I get the point, I just can’t be around you right now.”
“I am really sorry you know that right, if I could change what I did I would.”
“I know B just stop please, just stop. This is information overload and it is almost 2 in the morning, I have been up since 7. I am gonna explode if another word is said.”
I nod and watch her as she heads away from us.
“Night Guys thanks for the movie” she calls out to them.
“Faith you will come home right?” Dawn asks.
“Yeah Squirt I will be home soon.”
We stay standing at the beginning of Revello Drive where the conversation began.
“Guys I am sorry-”
“Save it” Dawn snaps, “You did that to her and you made us believe it all came from her jealousy.”
“Dawn I didn’t make her do anything.”
“Oh please Buffy it is what you do, people fall in love with you and you screw them over.”
“Dawn I think Buffy has had enough for one night” Willow says.
“No Will I haven’t. I deserve to rot in hell for what I did to her.”
“That is taking it a bit too far” Xander says.
“Is it? You have been in love, to know you hurt someone you love doesn’t it make you want to die? When you are in love you are meant to save them from that hurt not cause it, no convincing from you two is going to make me feel differently.”
I take Dawn’s hand “I need to get Dawn home.”
They nod at us.
“Thanks for tonight guys, we will see you tomorrow.”
We head in the direction of our place “You are right Dawn, I can’t take all the blame for what she did though. I know I did wrong by her and that I hurt her. I am just trying so hard to make it right for all of us that I didn’t see it happening again.”
“Buffy you can only make yourself happy, nobody else.”
“When did my little Dawnie grow up?”
“Please I have always been smarter than you” she smiles at me.
“Sure you just keep telling yourself that.”
I slowly open my eyes, the light shines in them rudely and I shut them again quickly. I groan as I stretch. Sleeping on the couch is never good even if you do have slayer powers.
I stand up and walk into the kitchen. Faith is sitting at the counter reading the paper and eating cereal.
“Hey” I say opening the fridge.
“Hi.”
“Dawn up?”
“Nope.”
“We have to be at school in like 10 minutes.”
“Saturday B…no school.”
I grab the juice and close the fridge. I sit across from Faith “Why are you up so early?”
“Can’t sleep, I have been thinking about our talk last night.”
“When you finally came home at 4 am?”
She nods “I know we talked and got things out in the open which I am happy about.”
“But” I prompt.
“There feels like there is a but I just don’t know what the but is yet.”
“Things aren’t gonna be back to normal right away.”
“Normal is such a broad term these days B. We dealt with some heavy shit and I just don’t know if you feel the same way.”
“About you? There is no doubt on how I feel about you. I love you.”
“Even after what I said?”
“Yep I made a few wrong choices Faith, wish I could take them back but I can't.”
“Was I a wrong choice?”
“Never ever were you a wrong choice. I loved you from the moment you grabbed that stake off me in the alley the night we met.”
“Can I ask one last question then I will be off the topic forever.”
“Shoot.”
“Why Angel then? If I was the right choice and he was the wrong choice why?”
I knew the answer I didn’t know if Faith was gonna like it though “I still loved him, and for me he was safe.”
“You didn’t feel safe with me?”
“I didn’t feel safe with my feelings. I knew I loved you but I didn’t know if you loved me. If I was just part of the whole ‘hungry and horny’ theory.”
“All you had to do was ask B.”
“Would you have told me Faith? If I had walked up to you all those years ago and said Faith do you love me would you have said yes?”
She nods slowly “I would have B I can say that without any doubt whatsoever.”
“Well all I can say is I am sorry.”
“I would have sung the national anthem in fucking Japanese if you asked me, I was that in love with you then.”
I smile “No singing in Japanese needed.”
“From the looks of it though sleep is needed.”
I nod “2 hours is not enough even with slayer powers.”
And we head upstairs to bed on the first day of the rest of our lives together.
...to be continued...