Who Am I?
by Slayer Tash
Rating: PG-13
I didn't want to leave that elevator. It felt like the last safe place on earth. Wrapped up in Faith's arms, just being with her. I was prepared to move in to the elevator, we would have been so very happy. Just us and nobody else…one day we would welcome little elevator babies in to the world…not baby elevators just babies born in said elevator. Anyway…
The dream of elevator bliss lasted another 20 seconds, the doors dinged and we were ripped from our little elevator bubble. We had to act normal, like we were coming for a normal morning debrief. Not like the last 4 months were wiped away.
I sat through the entire meeting on edge. Faith had to keep her hand on my thigh so it wouldn't constantly tap away. It wasn't a nice keeping her hand on my thigh cause she is my girlfriend it was a cut off the circulation to the remainder of the leg with the kind of grip she had going on.
I was quite happy sitting there letting everyone around me talk…then of course Giles ever the observant.
"Buffy are you sure that is all? I know you haven't said anything but judging from your current state something is clearly on your mind."
"My mind is clear."
Kennedy snorts over in her festy little corner of the room so I shoot her a look and she shoots me the bird. Faith moves beside me and I notice Kennedy's eyes flick to her…I notice lust in the look she is giving Faith…my Faith.
"Actually Giles I do have something on my mind. I know a meeting like this isn't the most appropriate place to announce it but it saves me having to do this individually…some of you already know but uh I want to say it, make it official. Faith…and me…well we are Faith and me. She is my girlfriend."
The grip on my leg tightens ten fold and I look at Faith who looks shocked.
"Sorry I know we didn't discuss this. I am pretty much in love with you and to keep how I feel inside around people, I can't do anymore. Things are how they are meant to be and I wanna be able to indulge in it. I am tired of hiding."
"How long?" Wesley asks.
"Nearly 2 months."
"Normally we don't get involved in slayers' personal lives but as someone who has seen his fair share of office romances within this group, do you think this is wise?"
"Which part of Buffy and me is your fuckin' business Wes? You not getting involved in slayers' personal lives is a rule ya might wanna stick to. I can deal with Dawnie, Red and Xander all up in our business but the rest of ya need to keep your opinions to your fuckin' selves. This ain't Sunnydale where you and Giles can be all 'I am your Watcher so obey me' and Angel, I know she is your ex honey but you might wanna remember the ex part. You try any shit with either of us and you will end up in the belly of a dustbuster."
The room is silent so I do what I do best…I fill the silence.
"And Kennedy you keep your eyes off her. I see the looks you give her, they are looks you should be reserving for Willow."
Kennedy's mouth drops open "I…what? You are so full of shit Buffy."
"No she isn't" Willow scoffs.
Kennedy stands up "Whatever, I am over this shit. I thought Faith was supposed to be gone anyway."
She starts to leave but Faith is up and over the table in one move and Kennedy is sprawled out against it with Faith's hand around her neck in the next.
"What the fuck did you just say?"
"Nothin'. Just that I didn't think you were gonna be here today."
I catch Angel out of the corner of my eye slowly inching his way away from the table.
"Halt" Willow gestures with her hand towards him and he stops moving completely.
I can see him trying to struggle but with her mojo it is useless.
"Might one enquire as to what is going on here?" Giles asks.
"Yes, we are quite confused" Wes backs him up.
"Angel signed Faith over to a place called The Dollhouse. He set up the fight last night to make it look like an intimate moment between he and I in the hope Faith would go off her nut. She did, they got her and for the last 4 months she has been one of the Dollhouse's actives. She was wiped of her memory and each new job she was imprinted with a new one to carry out the clients' wishes. A little over a month ago I bumped into her while out on a recon mission for Angel. She had no idea who she was or what she was doing. I brought her back here. Angel acted like her saviour vowing to get to the bottom of where she had been and who had wiped her of her memory. So for a few days we got glimpses of Faith mixed with Echo her active name…turns out Echo was supposed to bump into me that day in order to get inside Wolfram and Hart to get to Angel. She killed him and left, went back to them. After Angel was killed we found hidden files on his computer. Super encrypted files, it had the details of this place and emails and other communications he had with Adelle DeWitt the lady that runs the LA office. Willow and I combined with Giles and Wes and Gunn's funky lawyer brain came up with a plan to get Faith home again. It worked. I woke up this morning in Faith's arms and we were called to meet with Giles to go over things and how we were going to cover our tracks so they wouldn't come looking for her but then all of a sudden it is today and I am hoping this is where Willow can fill in the blanks."
"Giles decided the only way that we could remove traces of Faith ever being there was to go back to before she was there, that way they couldn't lay claim to her. The contract that was signed by Faith was iron clad. No loopholes. Gunn's funky lawyer brain almost melted" Willow provides.
"Why not go back to before Angel started communicating with them?"
"We needed proof and while Buffy and I have the memory we didn't think it would be a good idea for us to turn back time and be constantly waiting for this to happen. We could confront Angel but what proof would we have. The Dollhouse won't be concerned with Faith until she is one of theirs, til they get that signature. If the 'deal' falls through then they only deal with Angel. Nobody else gets caught in the crossfire, they won't put themselves out there like that."
"So future me suggested to you that we mess with the temporal time fold to save Faith?"
"Yep. Messing with time is a cinch for me these days. Plus it won't affect the Dollhouse at all. The clients will still hire someone to do what they want it just won't be shoved in to Faith's body. It will go in to someone who was a willing volunteer to be part of their program and as for the rest of us…we get Faith back and to me that is always of the good. She kicks ass."
"What about Angel?" Wes asks "What do we do with him now?"
I reach over and pull out the stake Faith keeps tucked away in the back of her pants and make my move.
The back of my jeans are held on to so tightly that I am surprised they haven't ripped off.
"Let go!" I struggle as I am pulled back against Faith.
"No way B. I know you are pissed, right on that page with ya honestly but it shouldn't go down like this." She wraps her arms around me, effectively trapping my arms.
"Why not?" I am glaring at Angel and Will still has him in her little magic locky thing.
"I really don't know why not, don't have an answer for ya but not like this. It don't feel right."
"It would be a real shame to have to head butt you in the face just minutes after declaring my love for you to the entire room but if you don't let me go the back of my head is fitting the front of yours."
If Faith has one weakness that isn't between the sheets it is her face and the injuring of it in any way.
"My face is prepared to take that if it stops you from doing this."
I struggle in her arms "Why are you stopping me, he messed with you! He signed you over so your body could be used as a vessel for god knows what."
"I know" I feel her relax and rest her head against the back of mine "I know but he also saved me from myself B. I wanna hear what he has to say before we do anything."
"What could he possibly have to say that is worth listening to? I know you don't remember the last 4 months but I do. I saw the ease in which he lied, I saw the man that fought to save you just give your life away like it meant nothing and for what? Despite what some people say I am not the be all and end all of this universe, there was no way he did this over jealousy and the fact he and I can't be together."
"You are right I don't see him doing that which is why I wanna give him a chance to explain."
I know I brought up me not being worth the betrayal but OUCH!
"Come on Angel, now is your chance…why'd ya do it?"
He chuckled and my blood went cold, I knew that chuckle and it didn't belong to Angel.
"Angelus" Faith whispers.
...to be continued...