Black Like the Roses
by Snoe
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Faith, Buffy or the Scoobies. The mysterious kid is
all mine though.
Author's Notes: I know I haven't written in a while but I have been struck
down with writer's block for a while. I hope that this turns out at least
somewhat decent. Please let me know. And I apologize if you get this more than
once, or even twice.
She slowly strolled along the aisle, her eyes grazing the rows of bottles promising relief from all kinds of pains and illnesses. "Not enough pills to relief the illness of mankind," the girl mumbled to herself and reached out for one of the bottles. Narrowing her eyes she pushed the bottle back into the shelf harshly, causing it to topple over.
With a sigh the brunette wiped some stray hair out of her face and jammed her hands deep into the pockets of her black, very tight jeans. It looked as if she were very interested in picking out just the right bottle of pills, as if it mattered to her that much. But it wasn't as if anyone really cared. The 24-hour store was pretty much empty, only a couple of college students horsing around in the toy section only to be chased away by an aggravated manager. This was as dead as it got and the few customers were either too tired or too caught up in their own deal to notice the distraught looking girl that seemed to be very lost in the drug aisle. Except for one.
He took a deep breath and leaned against the shelf dangerously. His hands were hidden in the pockets of his black, slightly baggy slack pants as his eyes scanned the aisle. The girl was slowly wandering back and forth between the various drugs on the shelves, in fact she had been doing so for at least half an hour. At first he had only been startled at her presence and chosen to wait until her departure to actually really set foot in the aisle but now he had taken to watching her. Very intently.
Her clothes were familiar, at least the color of them. He had nothing in the tightness of her clothes, but both of them seemed to like black, a lot. The tank top she wore was black as well and left part of her lower stomach exposed, but the dark leather jacket seemed to keep her warm. The girl was wearing dark boots to go along with her assemble, just like him. But that really wasn't why he had been watching her. Something about this girl told him he should be watching her.
The brunette girl grabbed up a bottle, studied it and then threw it back into the shelf. Stifling a yawn he pushed himself off the shelf and took a few staggers toward the girl. She suddenly stopped in her steps, stared him up and down and snarled.
"What the hell are you looking at?" she hissed as he just about sized her up.
"Not much by the looks of it," he replied, knowing her reply wouldn't be a pleasant one. He loved pushing people, it was what he did best and it was his job.
She seemed to consider yelling or cursing or just maybe maiming him, but then settled for a simple, "Just get the fuck out of my way."
The boy did exactly that and watched with attentive, dark eyes as the brunette girl scoffed, reached for a bottle of pills and stormed off without giving him as much as another glance.
With an exhausted but seemingly happy sigh the blonde sat at the table and looked at her friends. The four other teens were seated around a table in the middle of the only club in town, within the mix of teens either dancing or just lounging around. The blonde was wearing a smile that faded as soon as she saw her friends' grimmer faces.
"What's wrong you guys?"
The red-headed girl to her right sighed and looked at the dark-haired guy across the table helplessly, "Xander you say something."
He shrugged, looking at the blonde and sighed as well, "Faith…she…ah,"
Before he could finish the blonde had already grabbed him by both shoulders and was looking at him intensely. "What about Faith? Where is she? She said she'd be here by now."
"Buffy! Let him go…Faith came in about ten minutes ago. She saw you and…him dancing and uh…when he kissed you," the red-head replied, looking at her friend worriedly.
Buffy let go of Xander slowly, looking at him apologetically and looked at her friends, "But it was just a good-bye kiss. Riley is leaving he just wanted to say good-bye. Where'd she go?"
Willow opened her mouth to answer but Anya cut her off, bluntly, "Oh first she kind of stared then looked like she was about to throw up, cry and kill something, not particularly in that order and then ran off."
Bringing a hand to her forehead the blonde slayer groaned and turned, looking at the masses of people.
"Oh god, I have to find her. Faith is so set out to thinking that she is only meant to be hurt and not loved I swear if she does something stupid to herself…I…I don't know what to do anymore…where could she be?" Buffy turned back around, staring at the other four in hope and they shrugged helplessly.
With shouted words of her friends going to look at her house echoing in her mind Buffy raced out the doors of the Bronze, willing to give anything to find her girlfriend.
With a downcast glance she walked down the street, her fingers clamped tightly around the small plastic bottle in the pocket of her jacket. It was dark and not many people dared to walk the streets of Sunnydale at night so she didn't run any danger walking into anyone at this time.
Faith looked up, pushing a strand of hair out of her face and tightened her grip on the small bottle. It was getting harder these days to fight the tears, after opening up to Buffy after all. Once the tears came it was harder to fight them off, the main reason Faith had avoided crying for years before Buffy came along, before they overcame all that pain in the past. And Faith had thought for once that maybe, maybe she too was allowed to be loved and have happiness. Buffy had told her so, many times until she believed it. But now, now Faith realized that she had been lied to, again. Buffy didn't love her, because no one could love her.
"Should've killed Beefstick when I had the chance to," she mumbled to herself and then shook her head. She doubted that she still had it in her to kill someone, kill a human being. Buffy had changed that, too.
The brunette slayer scoffed, bringing a hand to her forehead. She didn't want to keep seeing that image in her head. Of Buffy and Beefstick kissing. Kissing like she didn't even exist. When she had first walked into the Bronze Faith had been happy to see Buffy, after a long, arduous patrol through the Sunnydale cemeteries. But as soon as she had set foot into the club and spotted the Scoobies at the table she had been worried. Upon seeing her the Scoobies had looked wide-eyed and Faith had followed their gazes to the dance floor where she saw one of the worst things of her lifetime. Riley, corn-fed Iowa boy, was slow-dancing with Buffy, her Buffy, in his arms and she was smiling up at him, laughing at something he said and then he bent down and kissed her. Not just on the cheek, a full kiss on the lips and she was sure there had been some tongue. It was no wonder she had bolted from there. It was either that or killing him right there.
Groaning the girl kicked an empty can lying on the ground, the mere force of her kick sending the can crashing into the small wall separating the only park in Sunnydale from the sidewalk. She looked to her side, realizing that she had been walking next to the park for a while as if she had actually been headed there. Cursing quietly under her breath Faith lowered her head again. Her subconscious had probably led her here, the park after all held some of the only nice memories of her life. This was were Buffy first had told her she loved her, which now seemed as meaningless as her life.
Faith sighed and headed up the path towards the park. At least she would be left alone there, no one would come bother her and make sure she was okay. The brunette stopped suddenly and turned around, the feeling of being followed sitting deep in her bones. She almost expected no one or nothing to be there, just like in the movies, when her eyes spotted a kid dressed in all black. He was slightly shorter than her, but somehow that wasn't what struck her in his appearance. The kid wore black dress pants, and a satin button-down shirt that was black as well. Even his hair was dark, but what really caught her attention were his eyes. They were an icy, light blue and Faith could have sworn they glowed in the moonlight.
Shaking off her fascination she snarled and looked at the kid. He was the same guy from the store earlier. He was slowly walking up to her and Faith cocked her head slightly. She would have felt if he was a vampire looking for an easy meal, but he didn't give her any evil vibes at all, no tingly sensation in her body telling her to stake something. So she would just have to fend him off with normal human ways.
"What the hell do you want?" she hissed as he had almost reached her.
The kid shrugged, raising an eyebrow at her and shook his head, "Well I thought this was a public park, I didn't think it belonged to you. Oh wait, look at that…Property of the City of Sunnydale…well I guess it ain't your park after all."
Faith watched him angrily as he just strode past her, not even bothering to give too much attention to the brunette and was immediately vanished in the trees. The slayer watched the path for a few minutes before following it into the darkness as well. She had better things to do than think of some weird ass kid.
Panting she came to a stop in front of a crooked headstone and looked around. There was no sign of her girlfriend anywhere. Buffy wiped some stray hairs out of her face and sat on the top of a gravestone. She was worried. Deep, raw fear nagging at her heart for reasons unknown to her. Sure, Faith had stormed out of the Bronze probably very upset but Buffy didn't know why she was really so worried. Faith knew she loved her, the blonde had made sure to tell her every situation possible, but now, somehow deep inside Buffy wasn't so sure. If Faith had seen her kiss Riley there was that slight chance the brunette would do something very stupid. And that was what had Buffy worried.
Resting her head in her hands she sighed, not knowing where to look anymore. She had already been through all of Sunnydale's twelve cemeteries in the hope of finding the other slayer. The Scoobies had promised to check with Giles and at her house but so far they hadn't had any luck either. Willow had promised to page Buffy if they were to find Faith.
Buffy didn't know what to do anymore. She had no idea where Faith was and she knew that if the other girl didn't want to be found it would be near impossible to do so. Sunken deep in her thoughts she didn't hear the cracking of branches as someone stepped up next to her, not until she saw the movement out of the corner of her eye. The stake was in her hand and at Spike's chest in less than a second.
"Spike," Buffy groaned and stowed the stake in her jacket pocket, "I don't have time for your games right now, okay? Just go away."
The blonde vampire smirked, lit a cigarette and looked at the slayer with a shrug, "What makes you think I have time for you?"
The blonde girl rolled her eyes and turned away with a sigh, "Spike just go away before I stake you."
"You wouldn't have the heart to do that, luv. And anyway, the way I see it you're way to strung up right now to stake anything undead. Trouble in paradise?"
"None of your business Spike," Buffy grumbled, wrapping her arms tightly around her body against the cold wind. Still no sign of Faith.
"It's that slayer of yours, isn't it? I could always tell you two had a thing going on. Did she dump you, I wouldn't be surprised I heard she's got a track record like no…," Spike replied with a smirk but was cut off by the slayer.
"No, she…saw Riley and I kissing," Buffy mumbled, looking away. She couldn't believe she was relenting this to Spike.
"Oh smooth slayer. You cheated on your hottie with farm boy, real smooth even for you," Spike took another drag of his cigarette and shook his head.
"It wasn't like that…he kissed me good-bye but Faith bolted before I saw her. Now I don't know where she is," Buffy sighed, somehow feeling that she failed at trying to defend her actions.
"So bloody why would you be looking here?" the vampire questioned and threw the cigarette to the ground.
"'Cause she likes slaying, when she's pissed she goes to the cemeteries."
Spike rolled his eyes and stepped in front of the blonde, "Yeah, well if my girlfriend just cheated on me with a soldier-boy I wouldn't be pissed, I'd be sad and upset. Which leads to me going to a place that makes me happy and not a place where I usually let off steam."
Buffy glared at the vampire for a few seconds, then suddenly her eyes widened and she stepped back.
"Oh my god, the park…Spike I never thought I'd say this but…you're a life saver!"
Without waiting for a reply the slayer sprinted down the path of the cemetery towards the street; she had to make it to the park in time.
Spike stood in the moonlight watching her with a grimace on his face.
"Well…just don't go of telling people that!" he shouted after her, his words lost in the wind.
With a grim face she sat on the cold bench, staring down at the plastic bottle in her hand. A hot tear landed on the back of her hand and Faith scoffed as she slowly unscrewed the bottle cap. A few pills rolled into her hand and she observed them closely but without much interest before they vanished in her mouth.
The girl swallowed the pills and tilted the bottle, knowing that she needed more when she felt the movement of a body next to hers. Looking up she stared into two very blue eyes that seemed to hold her there for just a few seconds before she fought herself free.
"What the hell do you want?" she hissed at the kid that was leaning back against the bench, the cold not seeming to bother him at all through his thin shirt and pants.
"I want to sit here, got a problem with that?" he snapped back, not even paying attention to the bottle in her hand.
"Yeah, I do. Now go away before I make you!"
He laughed softly, looking into her eyes and shook his head. "I'm not afraid of you," he shrugged and looked the other way.
Faith growled, leaning as close to his face as possible and breathed into his face, "Listen little boy, I can do things you can only dream of."
"You must be a real smart one then to throw that all away, huh?" he raised an eyebrow at her and the slayer leaned away from him.
"What?"
"Well, aren't you trying to kill yourself here?"
"Maybe, so what's it to you?"
"I don't give a shit honestly. Go right ahead," the kid shrugged again, turning his head away from here.
"Yeah right, who knows what you'll do to me," Faith responded, looking at the pill bottle in her hand.
"It wouldn't matter anyway, you'd be dead. But if it bothers you that much you can just wait until I leave," the kid stated plainly.
"What if I don't want to wait?" Faith snapped at the kid and waited for another smart ass remark from him. She couldn't actually believe she was discussing this with some strange street kid thinking he was cool.
"Don't worry, she won't find you," he shrugged and crossed his arms behind his head.
Faith stared at him for a few seconds, not knowing what to believe, "What do you mean 'she'?"
He turned, sat straight and looked at her, "Your girlfriend, right? That's why you're here…," he mumbled, waiting for her to tell him he was right.
But all Faith wanted to do was to tell him that he was crazy. Maybe he was just a good guesser but the slayer couldn't help but feel a little bit weirded out at the kid. And on top of that she was feeling tired. "Smart move taking those pills before this weirdo is about to mess with you Faith," she told herself and then shook her head.
"Yeah, my girlfriend. I have no clue about how you knew but I'll just ignore that for now. She cheated on me," Faith replied, wondering just why she was telling this kid.
"So you decide to kill yourself?" he questioned, as if he was doubting her, telling her she was real stupid.
"She was all I ever had. No one ever loved me and I guess she didn't either."
The kid scoffed, leaned forward and rested his forehead in his hands. "Yeah, yeah, you think that's a good enough reason to kill yourself? Don't you know what happens when you do?"
Faith narrowed her eyes at him and cocked her head, "What? Please don't tell me I'll go to hell 'cause trust me I've been there before and this isn't the way to go back to it."
He stood up and walked away from the bench and for a moment Faith thought he was walking away again. Somehow that left her feeling scared inside and she didn't know why. The kid walked a few steps then turned and looked at her. It was starting to get foggy and his body was partially hidden behind it, leaving him seem even more mysterious. Faith narrowed her eyes to focus on him. Her head was feeling a lot heavier all of a sudden, as did the rest of her body. She cursed under her breath, wondering how long it had been since she took those pills. If she didn't take the rest all that were to happen to her would be a deep sleep.
The kid walked closer to her again and stopped right in front of Faith, kneeling on one leg and looking into her eyes.
"You're complaining that you don't have love in your life and that's why you want to die," he spoke calmly and she moved to respond but was cut off by a cold finger digging into the folds of her leather jacket, right above her heart, "but this is where all the love you'll ever need is. Love lives within you and not someone else. You're being goddamn selfish by expecting someone to be with you and love you when you hate yourself so much. If you just opened your eyes you'd see that if you love someone no one can take that from you, that's why you need to love yourself."
Faith stared at him, feeling her eyelids become very heavy all of a sudden and tightened her hold on the small bottle. She needed to take those other pills now or it'd be too late. The kid's eyes were resting on her face and it made her feel very uneasy. It was as if he was forcing the tears out of her eyes that were by now pouring down her face as he just sat there and watched her, his hand slowly wandering downwards to rest on hers.
Making one last attempt at removing the pills from the bottle Faith groaned and felt herself slump sideways, falling asleep before she ever had a chance to finish the job. As she slid down the backrest and came to lie motionless on the bench the last thing she heard before falling into darkness reached her ears.
"Don't worry Faith, you'll be alright," the kid whispered, and if Faith hadn't been so close to passing out she would have questioned how he knew her name.
She was still sprinting as fast as she could as she entered the park. The wind had gotten colder and was whipping around her body. Her lungs felt like they had been pierced with thousands of tiny needles but she couldn't give up now. She just hoped she wasn't too late.
Buffy scanned the area closely while rushing up the path towards the park bench where she had told Faith she loved her the first time. And where she hoped to do so many times to come. The darkness was enveloping the slayer like a heavy blanket and she strained her eyes to see in between the trees blocking the moonlight and the fog that had settled. She sprinted up the path and was greeted with the low shimmer of the moonlight that was reaching out over the tree tops to chase all the shadows away. But she didn't care much for the moon.
The blonde was kneeling next to the bench within a heartbeat, her hands shakily looking across the listless body for any injuries. Not finding any she looked down and stared at the small plastic bottle in her girlfriend's hand. Buffy gently slipped it out of the girl's hand and her heart dropped as she found the bottle empty.
"Oh god, Faith…please don't die, please, I am so sorry Faith," Buffy whispered while checking for a pulse.
Sighing in relief as she felt the pulse weakly underneath the brunette's skin Buffy leaned closer to her face. The younger girl's lips were tinged blue, probably from the cold and Buffy could detect traces of tears on Faith's cheeks that were still wet.
"Faith, please wake up, you can't die on me now. Faith I only love you, you have to understand that. Riley doesn't mean anything to me, it was nothing but a good-bye kiss and…god I'm so sorry Faith," the blonde mumbled, tears stinging her eyes as well.
When she felt the girl move underneath her hands she gasped and looked up, right into Faith's deep brown eyes.
"Faith…oh my god, you're alive. I was so scared you took all those pills. I love you Faith, don't ever forget that," Buffy whispered as she pulled the brunette up closer towards her.
The younger slayer stared questioningly at the empty pill bottle lying on the ground and looked around quickly. The mysterious kid was nowhere to be seen. With a slight groan she stood up, all the while holding onto her girlfriend who wouldn't stop telling her that she loved her. It made Faith smile. She held onto Buffy tightly as they walked out of the park, and even though her head still felt all clouded she couldn't help but think of something strange.
"Buffy?" she croaked, looking at the shorter girl in confusion.
"Yeah, hun?"
"Do you believe in angels?"
Buffy smiled softly and shrugged as they walked down the street in Sunnydale ready to move on.