Break Away
by SugarVixen
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my imagination. Joss owns the BtVS
characters (he's also backed by an army of lawyers and Network
Execs) and Melissa Etheridge owns her song lyrics (along with Island
Records).
Spoilers: Set during Season 3, at some point after the Gwendolyn
Post episode. Btw, in my little Buffyverse, Faith didn't kill Finch
and never went psycho. Angel is still Angelus because Willow never
did the spell to give him back his soul, but Buffy never killed him.
Note: This is also a songfic. There are bits and parts Melissa Etheridge
songs scattered in my story. The title is from one of them.
********** indicates a time switch between past and present.
:: :: indicates song lyrics. Faith's POV.
Feedback: I'm a fic virgin, this is my first, so be gentle. Plus,
I'm French, so forgive me for any grammar or syntax errors.
There's nights like these, when time seems to stretch itself out indefinitely. Nights when I think I can bare the stillness of my existence no more. I sit by the window contemplating the moon, entranced by the deafening silence of the outside world, and the pounding of my heart.
::I was high and dry Like the Kansas sky If I ached for any more I knew I'd surely die::
It's been years since I've last seen her, yet, my thoughts always revolve around her...
"C'mon B! It'll be wicked!" I pleaded with her, my lips drawn into a mischievous grin, as I tossed her a bottle of tequila. Patrol had been intense, so I was "hungry and horny" and wanted to release some pent up energy. I had thought of seducing B since coming to SunnyHell, Apocalypse Central, and that night seemed as good a night as any to put the moves on my new best friend.
B studied the bottle for a while, probably thinking she shouldn't give in to the temptation, but I know she wanted to so bad. She finally wanted to find the fun! And I was gonna help her!
When I saw her unscrew the cap of the Jose Cuervo bottle, I made my way across my sleazy motel room to the small fridge, trying to stifle a chuckle when I saw B grimace at the taste of the hard liquor.
"Waa, rrr, arrrl!" B shook her head sideways as she shivered.
Cute! She looked so fucking adorable. How I wanted that shiver to be caused by me, by my hands, my tongue, on her smolderingly hot body...
I put a few limes on the folding table next to my bed, along with the salt shaker, two shooter glasses and a knife. With the knife, I cut the limes into little boats.
"What in the world are we gonna do with all that?" B was skeptical: something that involved a knife, me and alcohol was clearly making her nervous. Oh! Innocent B, "We're gonna do Mexican shooters."
'Off of each other's bodies!' I wanted to add. Yeah, but I didn't want push it, at least not yet.
"Oh, What's a Mexican shooter?"
"A fucking great way to have a wicked good time!"
Seeing the confusion in her eyes, I held one of her hands in mine, leading her over to the bed. I filled a shooter to the brim and took the salt shaker. I brought B's shaking hand to my mouth and licked it, just between the thumb and index finger. Her breathing hitched a little when I sprinkled her wet skin with salt. Slowly, I let the tip of my tongue pass over the salty spot. It was so erotic and sensual... I threw my head back to swallow the tequila. Quickly, I shoved a piece of lime between my teeth and bit, hard, growling like a wild cat. When I was done, I howled like a coyote and laughed.
"Wow," was all B could say.
In the light of the full moon, a passerby would've noticed a tear rolling down my face. But there's no one. There's no one to hear, you might as well scream. I want to scream, to hit, to rage, but I'm frozen, captive to the memories, which haunt me every night.
::Night after night Trying to get out of my skin Day after lonely day You'd send me back again::
"Your turn B." I held out my wrist and for a second, I thought she would back out and leave. Leave and run away from my stupid motel room and my incessant flirting. But then, I saw something in her eyes: a flicker of desire. Okay, it quickly gave way to anticipation and fear, but I had seen it. It was too late to turn back. She was terrified, but she wanted to do this as much as I did.
Slowly, B reached out for my arm. She closed her eyes and brought it to her mouth. Tentatively, she ran her smooth tongue on my soft tanned skin. Trembling, she poured the salt, and hesitated. I handed her the shot with my free hand, and she took a deep breath before leaning down to gently kiss my salty skin. She sucked on my wrist a little, and I thought I was either gonna cum or pass out. I know that's a little fucking premature, but she stirred feelings in me that nobody had before...
She downed her shot and reached for a piece of lime.
"Nah ha!" I shook my head and took the fruit from her hand. "Take it from my lips." I saw B's arms get covered in Goosebumps, her nipples were hard as rock and she shivered again. But she obeyed and pulled me into a smoldering kiss! She bit my lip along with the fruit, drawing blood, so I cried out in a delightful mix of pain and pleasure. She was surprised by my cry so she instinctively pulled away, letting the piece of lime fall to the floor. I didn't want to stop kissing her so I held her even closer. I slid my tongue over her lips, parting them gently, and I entered her mouth, invading it, making her whimper as my tongue danced with hers and my hands made their way under her top.
I ran my fingers across B's back, my feather-light touches inducing shivers, and brought my hands around front to unclasp her bra. Wanting more, no, needing more skin to skin contact, I tugged the hem of her shirt, waiting for her permission. When she nodded, I lifted her top over her head and sent it flying across the room.
I pulled back to look at her. Her opened bra hung loosely from her delicate shoulders, leaving her beautiful breasts exposed. I cupped one, rubbing my thumb over her plump nipple. I bent forward, bringing my mouth to her ear and nibbling its lobe. "Tell me you want it..." I whispered.
"I want it," she breathed out, panting from the excitement of having her nipple pinched and pulled by my experienced fingers.
"Tell me you need it." As I said it, I let my other hand drop between her thighs.
"I need it... I need you Faith. I want you... So bad... I always have... Ever since I first saw you at the Bronze that night..."
"Me too B... But stop babbling like Red and kiss me!"
And she did, without reserve or barriers, doubt or shame. She kissed me with all her being, her essence. Our hungry mouths, gripping onto each other, nipping, sucking, licking, biting and devouring each other; lips, teeth, tongues playing a heated game of hide and seek. Pressing our bodies together, we tumbled onto the bed, my leg sliding between her thighs. And so we began rocking back and forth, our hearts tango beating to the same rhythm. B tugged at my top, wanting to tear it off my body because her need was so great. She wanted to touch me, grab and suckle my breasts, and I could feel her arousal. As her desire grew, she pulled the fabric so hard it actually ripped, allowing her free access. She flipped me onto my back and straddled me, bending down to capture my lips again.
The feeling of her skin against mine... I had never touched skin that soft... The feeling of her breasts rubbing over mine, her hard nipples teasing my sensitive flesh, sent tingles of pleasure spiraling down to my core. After a few hip thrusts, after making my back arch off the bed, her jeans and my leathers were getting in the way. I undid her button fly, dragging my fingers teasingly over the fabric of her underwear as I revealed it. She got up and let her jeans slide to the floor. She slowly took her red silk panties off, blushing a shade closer to the color of her sexy underwear... She was so beautiful, sexier than I could've ever imagined.
She stood there, motionless. The deep stare of those emerald green eyes swept over my body like a caress. I got up and stripped for her, letting those eyes travel the length of my body appreciatively as mine admired her curves. My gaze locked with hers as I stepped forward, our eyes only closing the second our lips met. The kiss was raw and untamed, and my passion was uncontrollable. I pulled us to the bed and pinned her to the mattress as my lips devoured hers. Holding her wrists above her head with one hand, I started a trail of kisses beginning behind her ear, leading all the way down to her belly button. Hearing B's soft moans as I let my tongue dance below her navel, I suddenly got the urge to bury my head between her thighs. I didn't resist.
I opened my mouth, close enough so B could feel my breath on her, but not close enough for me to touch her brown curls. She shivered with anticipation. And then, she felt it: my tongue slipping between her wet lips. She gasped, her hands gripping the bedspread tightly, and when my tongue reached her clit, she couldn't hold the orgasm that crashed through her body. Not giving her time to recover or catch her breath, I thrust my tongue deep inside her tight opening. She was shaking intensely, her head trashed on the pillow wildly as she gasped, moaned and called out my name, over and over again. My mouth returned to B's clit and I slipped two fingers inside. As I penetrated her, I sucked her little nub of flesh and nerves, hard, flicking it with my tongue rapidly. At the same time, I wiggled my fingers, pumping them in and out, matching the rhythm of my tongue, causing her to go over the edge once more.
When I looked up from between her thighs, her eyes were still screwed shut and her chest was heaving frantically. I crawled up the bed and took her in my arms, holding her as the last tremors of her climax shook her body. There, with her naked form in my arms, I had an epiphany: this was more than "get some, get gone"... this was love. I was totally completely unbelievably head over heels in love with Buffy Summers. It freaked me out! I was petrified. I had never choked when it came to fucking and I wasn't about start then. So, I did the only thing I could to regain some sort of control: I decided to forget about it. I shoved my feelings to the back of my mind. I told myself "This is sex, only sex. It doesn't mean anything..." and I think I actually believed it, until I saw her crying. Tears were rolling down her face and I feared I had taken things too far.
"Shhh, It's ok B, I'm here. Why are you crying? Did I hurt you B?"
"It's just... I hadn't... since Angel... you know. And I've never... had one before..."
"Had one what B?"
"An orgasm."
Whoa!
"And this was just so... amazing and... I never expected it to feel so... intense."
"So, B, intense and amazing, huh?"
"Oh come on Faith! Stop bragging. I know you felt it too!"
"Felt what, B?"
"This!" B pushed and straddled me, capturing my lips with her own. The kiss was soul deep and lava burning hot. Her hungry mouth then attacked bits of my flesh everywhere, hunting a pray situated slightly southward. But once she found herself at her final destination, the actions that had been hurried and determined became slow and hesitant. She had never done this before, that much I knew, and she wasn't sure of what she was supposed to be doing. She tentatively ran her tongue over my hairless lips, but not knowing what to do next, she stopped.
I knew I had to help things along.
"Do that again, B." I kept my tone soft and reassuring, wanting her to know I wasn't giving her orders, but just showing her the way. She pushed her tongue a little deeper, parting my lips and brushing over my clit. "Yeah... just like that B... lick my clit again... ooh... circle it... again... mmmmm... Again... Oh yeah... Drag your tongue... ah... lower and put it inside... OH! Deeper... yeah... deeper... put your fingers inside... three of them... UGH! Move them in and out... yeah! Oooh! Yeah!!! Deeper! Faster! Uuuuhhhhhh! Lick my clit again... mmm suck it... aahhhh... bite it gently... aaaaaah... keep sucking on it... Yes!!!... fingers... aaahhhh... faster... ohhhhhh... harder... Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Ooohhhh!!! I'm cuming! I'm fucking cummingggooooooohhh oooohhhhh I love you! OOHHHHH!!! BUFFY!!!!!"
My hips thrust one last time against her fingers, my inner walls shaking and clenching, pulling her digits in deeper as I climaxed. When I finally came down from the heights she had catapulted me into, I noticed a shocked look on her face.
"Are you ok B?"
"It's just, you said you love me, and you called me Buffy. You never say my name."
"Oh. I hadn't, uh, noticed, ya know?"
Smooth! Come on, Faith, you're a better liar than that!
"I get carried away... especially with tongues like yours... Forget I said anything."
That didn't cut it either. She kept staring at me. REAL SMOOTH! She wasn't buying my bullshit. And I knew I couldn't hide my feelings anymore. So I thought 'Screw it Faith! You only have one life to live, and it's probably gonna be a short one too, so, get the fuck over yourself and tell her you mean it!'
"You asked me if I felt it before, right? Well, I did. I felt it, Buffy. Love. Ever since that night after Gwendolyn Post went postal! When I told you "Nothing" and then told you I needed you to stay with me... I've loved you ever since I told you the story of my miserable fucking life, but I didn't want to admit it to myself. I've never loved Buffy, never been loved either, not by my parents, or by any of the people I've had sex with. But I do. I love you. So, yeah, that's what I felt."
While I was having my Babblefest, Buffy looked away, staring at the shaggy motel room carpet. I cupped her cheek and she looked at me, eyes full of tears... I suddenly feared I was kidding myself. Why would she want my love? How could she love me in return? "I felt it too, Faith. I love you. Ever since that night when you told me about your past."
The intensity of the moment, the honesty and love in her eyes, it was just too much! The dam broke. All the emotions I'd never allowed myself to feel flooded my gates and spilled over. The anger directed at my alcoholic parents who beat me every goddamned day when I lived with them in Boston, the fear and helplessness caused by witnessing my Watcher's horrible death to Kakistos and the emptiness I felt after being fucked by all those men who never saw me as anything more than a hole to fill.
Buffy had never seen me cry like this. I was balling! I think she understood then that the mask had fallen. The tough girl act, the loud mouth and wicked grin, they were just a cover. Underneath, I was hiding who I truly was: a terrified little girl, wounded and vulnerable. And she saw me.
She held me tight for a long while, letting me shed the tears I couldn't stop anymore. And when I was done, we made love for the first time. It wasn't just sex in my head anymore.
I rolled Buffy onto her back and laid on top of her, sliding my leg between hers. I kissed her so tenderly, whispering "I love you" every time our lips broke apart to take ragged breaths. I pressed my thigh to her center, making her moan and writhe under me. I slid my hand between our bodies to delicately ease my fingers inside her wetness. I brushed my thumb over her still swollen clit and she cried out, thrusting her hips forward, pressing her thigh against my aching need. She caressed my stomach softly, her fingers tracing a path down to my core, entering me gently. I moaned and used my thigh to push my fingers deeper within her silken folds, just as she did the same to me. We moved like that in tandem, in perfect synchronicity, until we felt waves of fire growing rapidly. Thrusting harder, reaching deeper, we both rode those waves simultaneously, crying out each other's names as we climaxed, together.
"Fai."
"B?"
"Synchronized slaying doesn't hold a candle to this!"
"Yeah, but I don't think Giles is gonna let us practice our new "skill" when we train in the library."
After showering and finishing the rest of the tequila bottle (which required another shower cuz of the body shots), we decided to head to the Bronze. We swung by the Summers' house so B could change and put on a black leather skirt and a sexy gold shimmering top. I was wearing a white top with cherry red leather pants. We looked at each other's reflections in the tall mirror and grinned.
"Hot!"
"Perfect!"
Willow, Xander, Oz and Cordelia were sitting at one of the tall tables at the Bronze. They had been waiting for B for more than two hours, and they seemed worried, and a little mad.
"Fai, Can we hide behind the column next to their table? I just know they're talking about me, and I want to hear all the dirt!"
"Sure B. But if they catch us, you're on your own!" I loved teasing her.
"Nothing happened to the Buffster right?" Xand-man's voice was filled with fear.
"I'm sure she's okay Xander. She has Faith to watch her back now." Red was trying her best to reassure him, but I couldn't help but notice the hint of jealousy at the mention of my name.
"Yeah, well, I bet it's not the only thing she's watching!" snarled Queen C.
B looked at me, surprised, mouthing a big "Huh?" to me.
"What do you mean?" Red asked.
"Yeah, right there with you Red..." I whispered.
"Come on Willow! You can't be that innocent? Haven't you noticed?"
"Noticed what Cordy?"
"Yeah, noticed what?" added Xand-man.
"Are you two dense or something? Cause it's sooo obvious! Faith has it bad for Buffy."
We all stared at the Bitch Queen, shocked.
"Am I the only one with eyes? God! Sometimes, I swear!"
Red and Xand-man still stared with their mouthes wide open, but Wolfy was his usual calm collected self.
"I've noticed. They have... chemistry."
Red looked at her boytoy with a quizzical look.
"Werewolf thing. I can sense it."
B couldn't stand sitting in the dark anymore while her Scoobies discussed her personal life. She stepped up to the table. I stayed behind, intent on enjoying the bust.
"Sense what?"
They all turned around to see Buffy looking at them with a big "I-just-got-laid" grin.
"Oh! Um! The chemistry! Uh, experiments! That they're, uh, doing at school! Yeah. Werewolf thing." Go Red!
"You're in babble mode Will, what gives?"
"Oh, um, coffee!" She pointed at her mocha.
"Coffee jitters! Absolutely!"
"Uh huh..." Buffy wasn't buying it, of course. She'd heard everything.
I walked away from the column, heading towards the bar to buy us beer (thanks to Willy for having made me a fake ID).
When I returned to the table, Queen C and Xand-man had just finished arguing and were making up. Ugh!
B was beginning to forget that she had made them wait for a few hours. Red hadn't forgotten.
"So, Buffy, where were you? Did patrol go ok?"
B's grin faded. She wanted to come out. We had talked about it before entering the Bronze, but she froze under the pressure. She stood there, speechless as they all waited for her answer.
"Hey Girlfriend."
"Hey!" She smiled, gazing into my eyes, forgetting about the gang, the questions, the world.
"Here B, I got you a drink."
A mischievous smirk lit her face and she raised herself to whisper in my ear, her breast brushing my arm, making me shiver.
"Don't you think I've had enough for one night? You don't want to get me drunk and take advantage of me now, do you?"
"Me? Nah, nevah! And don't tempt me with ideas like that." I winked and licked my lips.
"Hi Faith! How was *patrol*?" C asked, taking a sexy voice. Xand-man cut her off and changed the subject.
"So, Faith, tell us the naked-alligator-wrestling story again."
"No. You got that all backwards, Xand-man! I was naked when I hugged the Baptist priest, *not* when I wrestled the alligator."
"Oh, I liked it better the other way around."
C slapped him.
"What?!"
Not wanting to be there for yet another one of their fights, I grabbed B's hand and pulled her towards the dance floor.
"Wanna dance, babe?"
"Thought you'd never ask!"
Red followed us, and soon after, Wolfy joined the Dingoes onstage. The band launched itself into a fast song, drawing in even more dancers. As a result, we were forced to move closer to each other. Not minding it one bit, I wrapped my arms around Buffy's waist. She leant forward and hooked an arm around my shoulder and we began moving together to the beat, as we had done so many times.
By the end of the Dingoes' set, I was holding B's ass, she was kissing my neck, and our bodies were crushed together, rubbing against each other in the most erotic way. Xander, who'd been dancing with Red since C had left him and gone "Somewhere you're not!" was literally drooling from our display of affection.
"Wills, you got your Worried Face on."
"It's just, Xander! Look at them!"
"I am! And, All Mighty Zeus! This is fantasy number one checked off on my list!"
"Well, it's bad! Faith got her drunk and now she's... doing stuff to her! In public!"
"Chill Will, Buffy doesn't seem to mind the attention. She's a big girl. And if you ask me, this is definitely an improvement, you know, after the whole 'My-boyfriend-is-a-blood-sucking-fiend' thing."
"Well, that's the thing. She loved Angel, he lost his soul and now he's a murderer. I don't want her to get hurt like that again, that's all."
B, who'd also been overhearing their conversation, stepped up to them.
"Will, you don't have to worry." Buffy said, putting her hand on Red's shoulder, making her jump.
"Stop doing that!"
"Doing what?"
"Sneakin' up on people and scaring the Wiggins outta them!"
"Oops, sorry, Um, Will, about me and Faith, you really don't have to worry. I know you were just looking out for me, and it's really sweet, but you don't have to worry. Really!"
"Buffy, Are you two...?"
"Yes, we are."
"Do you, do you love her?"
"Yes, Will, I do, I always have."
"I love her too Red."
"Well, then, I'm happy for you. As long as you don't hurt her Faith, I won't have to hurt you. Not that I could, but, you know."
"Same here." Added Xander.
"Thanks for worrying guys, but it's five by five. I won't hurt her. I'll even protect her with my life. Scouts honor." I raised my hand and saluted.
"You were a Girl Scout?"
"No, but I screwed a couple, does that count?"
B cracked up and punched my arm. Red rolled her eyes and giggled. And Xand ogled me and drooled some more. Then they all hugged, Red... Willow even hugged me, and Xander shook my hand. We made our way back to our table, ordered a bottle of wine and Oz joined the celebration. Willow even took a sip. B and I were starting to get a little drunk.
We talked for awhile, about nothing and everything. Cordy came back, made up with Xander once again (Ugh!). When she learned the good news, she simply said: "It was about time!"
It was the best night of my life. Not only had I found my soul mate, my other half, but I had gained friends. That was more than I'd ever had.
Buffy's favorite song came on a while later. She stood and extended her hand to me.
"Wanna slow dance?"
We shared a kiss and started dancing, not too far from the table.
::I wanna lose all your demons and go I wanna tear off your chains cause I know All the way to heaven is heaven Caught between the spirit and the dust All the way to heaven is heaven Deep inside of us.::
"I hadn't pegged you for a Melissa Etheridge fan, B!"
"Well, it sort of hits home, you know?"
"Yeah, it does."
"Wanna go home with me? My mom's in Chicago for a week."
"Wouldn't wanna leave you there all by your lonesome!" I teased her, making my voice all husky and low, and suggesting naughty things with my eyes.
We said goodbye to the gang and before any of them could answer, we were out the door.
In the alley behind the Bronze, that same alley where we first met, I pinned her to the wall and kissed her madly. I couldn't wait to get home. Neither could she.
"Bloody dykes!"
We turned around to see Spike standing a few feet away. He lit a cigarette and walked towards us.
"The Slayers are bloody dykes! I guess it takes a Slayer to know another."
I tried to punch him, but my alcohol soaked body was uncoordinated.
"I knew that Angel bloke couldn't do it for ya, luv."
Fuming, B tried to kick him, but failed. She stumbled and fell. We were drunker than we'd thought.
"Hey now Spike, that was uncalled for."
Surprised, I looked to see Angelus standing at the end of the alley, and Spike tackled me. I lost balance and fell to the ground. We rolled around, each trying to get a hand up. I could've used B's help, but she was frozen. She just stared at Angel. I had to make her react and do something, so I called out to her. She turned, probably worried I was in trouble, and Angelus saw his window of opportunity. He swung the metal pipe he held and hit Buffy's head, really hard. She slumped to the ground.
"Angel! NO!!! Get away from her!"
I tried to slay Spike to get to Buffy, but he somehow managed to get a hold of my stake. He threw it to Angelus, who drove it through my lover's heart. She screamed in pain.
I screamed her name, and they just started laughing!
"You're fucking gonna pay for that!!!!" The adrenaline rush sobered me right up.
Spike laughed so hard he loosened his grip on me. I grabbed the hidden stake from my boot and dusted him. Angel just kept on laughing.
"I *slay* the Slayer AND get rid of Spike in one night? Ain't my unlife sweet!"
He threw his head back and laughed even harder. I shot the stake through the air with all my Slayer strength and agility. It got him right in the heart. He looked at me, surprised, then disappeared into a cloud of dirt.
I ran to Buffy and knelt at her side. She was gasping, her breathing shallow and rapid. Instinctively, I took the stake out of her chest, but it only made things worse. Blood began pouring out of the wound.
"HELP!!! SOMEBODY CALL 911!!! Oh God... Buffy... I'm so sorry... I should have protected you better..."
She was gasping for air and she was choking on her blood. She tried desperately to speak, but only made gargling noises. I held her tight in my arms. Finally, she managed to say something.
"No.. *gasp* I'm sorry... *gasp* I wanted... *choke* more time... *gasp* to love you..."
I started sobbing.
"Don't die on me B! Don't you fucking dare! Please, I've never been happy. EVER! You can't take it away B... Not now... I promise I'll protect you better from now on baby... please... don't leave me... I love you!"
"I *gasp* I love you too *gasp* Faith... *choke* forever."
She closed her eyes and I felt her slip away. I lost it. I started hitting her chest with my fists, screaming.
"You can't die!!! You can't leave me! You can't!!!"
At that moment, two policemen arrived and saw what they assumed was someone murdering a girl, beating her to death. My hands were covered in blood and the stake was resting on the ground next to me. They drew their guns and pointed at me.
"Police! Stay right there and put your hands above your head!"
I got up and ran as fast as I could, somehow dodging their bullets. I climbed the fence at the end of the alley and ran... I never looked back... I just kept running.
I get up from my chair by the window and walk over to the bed where I curl up into a ball, like I do every. The guilt of not being able to save her crushes my heart again and again.
The sun was coming up and I didn't know where I was. I'd been driving in my stolen car for so long I didn't know anymore. I saw a motel up ahead and pulled up to it.
"I need a room," I told the bald, fat and filthy clerk. He gave me an old dirty key chain and pointed at the rundown staircase.
"Where am I?"
"Boston."
I'd ended up back home.
I walked up to my room and flopped on the bed. Pulling my knees to my chest, I rocked myself to sleep. That's when the nightmares began.
I see myself dancing with Buffy... holding her tight and twirling her around. We laugh and twirl, and touch and kiss... Then blood fills her mouth and spills out as she chokes... It drips on my hands... I look down at my bloody hands... I'm holding the stake... She screams and I hold her so close... so tight... I hear myself say: "I won't let you go! I promise!" Buffy's body becomes ashes... and as I hold her I crush her... and she disappears into a cloud of dust.
I wake up screaming. I get up and drag myself to the window. And then I see her. Buffy, walking towards me, wearing a white summer dress that flows in the wind. "There's a sad summer breath tangled in your hair..." I whisper as I open the window to let her in. She embraces me. She holds me tight... I can't breathe... but I don't care... I look into her sparkling green eyes... they radiate... they're so bright... I cover my eyes... shielding myself from the blinding light. She shines so bright it hurts... When I open my eyes again, I am alone. My B is gone.
::I held you so close I thought my soul would break You were just a ghost The holiest mistake ::
"I will not be a judge, or the one to set you free..." I hear her whisper just as I wake up...
The same nightmare came every night, and every time I would wake up screaming... I'd drive to another motel, hoping to escape the dream, hoping that time would heal all wounds.
::I'll just keep on driving And time's a friend to me...::
But time always catches up to you.
"We, the jury, find the defendant guilty of first degree murder."
The judge's hammer hit the desk and the sound resonated in my head.
"It's time Faith." Barbara says with a soft voice.
The warden finds me crying on my bed. I get up and Barb handcuffs me. We get out of my cell and walk down the long neon lit hallway.
I'm strapped into a cross-shaped table... fucking ironic if you ask me... A slayer, crucified.
The curtains open, revealing me to the small crowd of people attending my execution. The first injection drips into my veins. The poison is making my mind blurry... Mrs S is crying in Giles' arms... I don't know if they really know what happened, or if they think I killed her... It doesn't matter, I promised to protect her and I failed... Doesn't make any difference.
As the second injection is released, I see B standing behind Red and her mom. She lays her hand on their shoulders and looks at me, weeping gently. Seizures rock my body and I feel myself slipping away, but I refuse to close my eyes. I wanna see B... My B... My beautiful crying B... I wanna hold you one last time... embrace you for eternity... but my eyes close... and I've lost you again... "I love you B..." I whisper with my last breath.
::The sentence has been read Everything is done I wish I could say goodbye to you Wish I could hold the sun My eyes are dull and burnt And they lie to me sometimes Cause I thought I saw you crying.::