How to Get the Good Things
by Sulks
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: It's been a really long time since I've written any Buffy-related fic. I still have two unfinished AU stories that I wanted to finish, although realistically, one of them will probably be chucked. Anyway. I think this season kinda put a nail in the whole Buffy/Faith thing, mostly cos Buffy's been a bit of a twat for a while now, but hey, whatever! (And my fobbiness totally shows up all throughout this fic, from the title to...everything) By the way, this is AU too. Sort of. This is an AU where Buffy isn't a complete twat. But there are spoilers for series 1-7 of Buffy, so, y'know... it does keep most parts of the canon pretty faithfully.
So, Faith's coming back to town. She's been gone for about four weeks now. Giles and Wesley are so mad at her. I'm so relieved that I am not her. They're going to give her the "shirking duties" lecture. She's heard it so much by now, I bet she can give it to herself. I'm honestly a little pissed off at her, too. I mean, what gives HER the right just to take off whenever she wants? I want to do that too, but I don't because the Hellmouth needs me to be here. I really wish she wouldn't be so flaky, because it honestly just drives me crazy when she does that.
Of course, more than anything, I wish she'd just tell me why she feels to need to take off so much. "Wanderlust, B," she'll tell me, and she'll grin, but the subject would be closed, because if anyone tries to take a crack at any of those walls, she'll just get bitchy. And well, who needs a bitchy Slayer? Not me.
So, we're all in the Magic Shop, discussing the latest demon activity. That's when she walks in, duffel bag swung on one shoulder. She's been gone for about a month now. She's a lot skinnier, and she looks tired, but she smiles at all of us. "Hey," she says, always so very succinct. She drops her bag by the door and then pulls up a chair next to me. "Hey," she repeats again. She looks so tired.
"Faith," Wesley says, rolling his eyes.
"Wes," she returns, grinning at him.
He snorts and then reaches onto the table and grabs a can of Coke and tosses it to her. She catches it, and scowls at him. They've had this argument before. She doesn't like it for it to explode.
The two of them have a really bizarre relationship. When Wes first came to Sunnydale, everyone, even Giles, disrespected him. But he's changed these past four years. In a good way. They get along pretty well now, but she still only listens to him when she wants to.
Giles fills her in on what's been going on. She listens carefully while I zone out. It's not like I need to be brought up to speed, since I am not the one who took off for a month.
So we break for the night. We're all heading out the door, Willow and Tara are going to their Wiccan meeting and Anya and Giles are going back to Giles' apartment, Wes is going home, and Xander has some big meeting with the constructiony guys. Faith and I walk out together.
"Where've you been?" I ask.
"Around," she says, always the girl with the specific details.
"How was 'around' this time of year?" I ask.
"Unseasonably blah," she says.
"Oh, 'blah?'" I ask. "Wow. It was just, 'eh' here."
Faith smirks. "Sounds like I missed out on some wicked weather systems," she snarks.
I grab the duffel bag from her. She looks at me with a raised eyebrow.
"You looked tired," I said.
Her expression softens. "Thanks," she says. She stretches her arms. "There's no place like..." her voice trails off as her face wrinkles in confusion.
"Home," I supply.
"No, that's not it," she says. "Is it?"
"Yeah, Dorothy."
"So, what're you? Toto?"
I slap her shoulder as we walk down the street to her apartment. "Bitch."
"Yeah," she says, agreeing amiably.
"Hey," I say, reaching out to touch her shoulder to stop her. I put the bag on the ground. "You really shouldn't keep taking off like this, and besides, we missed you."
Faith snorts. "Highly doubt that, B," she says, and she sounds a little sad. It's true, I guess. The only people she really got close to were Angel and Oz, and they both took off after graduation. She's never really been able to get really close to the rest of the Scoobies, and I think everyone kinda prefers it that way. She and Wes seem to get along pretty well, but not like me and Giles. I think secretly, she wishes they were more like Giles and I, but...well, anyway. Wes has changed enough so that he can finally handle Faith. I don't think she's really happy here, which is why she keeps taking off. I wish I could do something for her, to make it better, because it's hard slaying with someone who's heart just isn't really into it anymore. Or at least I think that's it. I'm still not sure what's going on with her. It's not that she doesn't enjoy the slay, because she does. THAT'S never changed. But patrolling with Faith is different now, and I still haven't figured out all the reasons why that is.
"I missed you," I said, picking up both her bag and the pace.
She smiles at me softly, and bumps my hip with her own. "You don't have to walk me all the way back to my place. I can take it from here." She reaches for her bag.
I shrug. "Come over tomorrow," I say. "I know Dawn will want to see you."
"Where was she tonight anyway?" Faith asks, absently.
"With her new boyfriend," I say, and can I just say how 'ew' that is?
Faith nods. "Well, here's the poor side of town," she says. "I'll see ya around, B."
"Sure thing."
Faith's lying on my bed, while Dawn is bouncing on it on her knees right next to her. Dawn's trying to get details from Faith about...wherever she went, but Faith's being monosyllabic per usual.
It took a while for us to forgive her after she started working for the Mayor. But we did. At least, I did. I think Willow and Xander had difficulty forgiving her, but...well, I think they realised there's no point in holding a grudge against one of the good guys. That night, on the balcony of the apartment the Mayor gave her....I think we came really close to killing each other.
I was about to stab her, you know, but then she saw the truck the Mayor had sent for her and jumped off. She grinned at me and said, "see ya around, B". And I thought we were all just so screwed. When I went back to the Mansion to feed myself to Angel, he was already healed. Willow and Oz were both still unconscious, and Angel was trying to wake them up. I guess Faith had been cutting herself and saving up her blood for the past few days, so she snuck into the Mansion and fed it to Angel and took off. And she told him how to beat the Mayor.
So we set up the school to blow up while he was inside, and we won. And it was all because of Faith. I went to her apartment to see her,and she was sitting outside, on the balcony. She was all tucked up in a corner, and she looked so miserable, and like she'd been crying the whole day.
She screamed at me to get the hell out, and I realised that night how much Faith lost. That the Mayor had been like a father to her, and that she'd given it all up because she went back on our side for a while. She left that day. I guess she didn't realise that Angel was going to LA, because about a year later, Angel found her and basically kicked her back to us. Wes had gone to LA to look for her, and they came back together. And when they got back, it was like they had bonded. But the both of them had changed so much, and no one knew why, except maybe Angel. And he wasn't saying anything.
Willow and Xander were both pretty hostile to her. But Faith didn't seem to care. She just ignored them. They got pretty angry about that at first, but eventually, they just gave up trying to rile her up. And now they're civil to one another.
So Faith came back... different. Quieter. Calmer. And sometimes, I wish I could have the old Faith back, because we've never been able to be the way we once were. There was a time when I didn't care, but it's different now, I guess. Maybe I just want it to be different, like the day when we danced for hours, not caring about time passing by or the exams that I needed to make up. Life was a lot easier, and I guess I want that back. I kind of want the old Faith back, because even though she does take off for weeks, sometimes months at a time, when she's here, she's all responsible now. She hardly ever talks now, and we don't banter like we used to when we go out slaying. I guess I miss that most.
I grab Dawn to make her stop bouncing on my bed. "Knock it off, Dawnie," I said, rushing her out of my room. She glares at me, but leaves.
"I'm glad you're back, Faith," Dawn calls as she leaves.
I poke Faith in the shoulder. "Magic Box time, just you, me, Giles and Wesley."
"I guess I'm going to get that lecture about me shirking my duties."
I can't help but smile. "Faith," I start off, trying to sound very stern. "You must remember that you are a Slayer,"
"And that you were Chosen to have a sacred duty bestowed on you," she continues.
"And that duty means you have great responsibilty both to your position as a Slayer and to the people you are bound to protect by this sacred duty."
She looks at me with mock seriousness as she says, "you can not take your responsiblity lightly and shirk your duties, you must not think that you can have the amenities of a normal life in which you might give in to your every whim. You are a Slayer, and while Buffy may be here, your duty is to remain in Sunnydale, when you are needed."
"You must never forget," I say, continuing from where she left off, "that there is a mission, and it is the mission that is important."
Faith bursts into throaty laughter. "Do I really have to hear that again?"
I smile, and flop down on the bed next to her. "I guess we could delay it a bit," I say. "It's not like either of them expects us to be on time."
"We do make Godot look punctual," she agrees. She begins to giggle again. "Wes looks so hot when he gives that speech, all smouldering and pissed off. And it really is fun to piss him off."
Ew. Okay, Wes? Pretty hot, especially lately. But he's still...her *Watcher*, and maybe he's not as old as Giles but still.
She keeps laughing, and it's been so long since I've heard her laugh like that..so I laugh with her. And pretty soon we're hitting each other with pillows and wrestling. We fall off the bed, and we make a huge THUMP sound as we hit the floor. It's been so long since *I've* laughed this hard. Faith hasn't been the only one who's change. I know I've changed too, and maybe not for the better. It's getting more difficult to force my eyes open in the morning, you know? So we hit the ground, and we just keep laughing like psychos, and for a minute, it's just like the old days, before she felt so alone and lost that she went to the Mayor, before she ran away from us and came back completely different, before I died and came back...wrong. For just a few moments, we're Buffy and Faith again, it's just the two of us, laughing it up. And God, I wish that could last.
We're still on the floor, laughing. Everytime we try to get up and disentangle ourselves, we just end up getting more entangled, and neither of us can stop laughing.
Finally, we both calm down and I'm on top of her, and I'm about to get off, when...as cliche as it sounds, I looked into her eyes. And I saw the girl that I once knew looking back at me. The girl who was so much fun to be around, and the girl who I wanted to spend all my time with. And I couldn't help myself.
I kissed her.
She kissed me back.
And then all of a sudden, she pulled back. And she freaked out.
And then I freaked out.
And the next thing I knew, she was crawling out my window and climbing down the tree. I didn't stop her.
I go into the Magic Shop to hear the last bits of the "shirking duties" lecture. It's just Faith and Wesley, so it's more, Wesley simply saying, "keep it together, Faith" and Faith glaring at him like he should know better. She's standing behind a chair, leaning forward. Her elbows are resting on its back. Wesley's just a few feet in front of her. He looks at her sympathetically and puts his hand briefly on her shoulder before he tells her one more time, lowly, "you have a duty." She nods. "Sorry," she says again, pointing to her head, "you know how it--" then she looks over and sees me. "Buffy!"
Wesley turns around and hastily takes a few steps back. Ha! Not so cool anymore, are you, Wes?
"Hey," I say, remembering to smile at them both. I have to smile. Wes grins crookedly. He starts to leave.
"Shave," Faith calls out to him. I hate facial hair, but Wesley carries it off really well. It's still a little disconcerting to see Wes' new look, even if it's been his look since he came back to Sunnydale with Faith in tow. Faith's right-- he's actually looking really good, and if he's clean-shaven, at least he still sort of looks like that awkward nerdy Watcher who first got here, so many years ago.
He doesn't bother to respond. He walks out the door. "Anya went on a lunch break," Faith explains, looking like she'd rather be anywhere but here. She crosses her arms awkwardly and then goes behind the counter. "I was just in here to see Wes...and she conscripted me." She clears her throat. "Do you think you could take over?" She grabs her jacket and leaps over the counter. "See ya!"
"Hold it."
Faith freezes. I don't have to see her face to know she's making an "aw, fuck" expression. She turns around and sigh. "Look," she says, her body language already taking on a defensive stance. Her right hand rests on her hip. "I just don't like to talk about this kind of thing...can't we just let it...y'know, it is what it is?"
I shrug. "If that's what you want. I don't get why you had to freak."
"I didn't *freak*," she insisted. "I spazzed a little, yeah, but that's only because it was *you* who was kissing *me*. You're like, wicked vanilla, B. And there you were, practically jumping my bones."
What? I was not! Not even *close*. Okay, so I groped her a little bit, but it seemed like she liked it, and it's not like I did it on purpose. Her boobs are just out there. They're bigger than mine. Mine don't pop out as much as hers do. I swear, the groping just began as an accident.
Faith starts laughing at me. "God, B. Mellow out. You should've seen your face." She laughs harder. "So we're cool?" she asks.
"Yeah, of course."
"Cool."
She tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "So, you'll mind the shop until Anya gets back? You know her, she'll be back in a few minutes anyway."
I open my mouth to protest.
"Thanks, bye!" She practically bounces out the door.
Not cool. It's not like I'm in love with her or anything. Because I'm not. When I was in highschool, and she first came to town, I thought of her more as a little sister. Because she was a fellow slayer, and a little younger and I naturally thought I was the one who was more experienced. She proved me wrong, didn't she?
Sometimes I wonder what made her change her mind. We were ready to fight to the death that night on her balcony. There was some serious hatred, and it was mutual. It was definitely a situation where if she hadn't jumped anyway, one of us would have killed each other. Or come close to it. The Mayor had some great timing there. Even though I was so disappointed when I found out that he was evil...because I really thought he was one of the good ones, and you know, the fact that he was evil, I have to appreciate his timing on that one.
The fact that Faith had that blood bag of her *own* blood also makes me believe she wasn't as evil as she claimed to be. Angel apparently fed off her a little as well to get fully recovered, but not enough to incapacitate her--obviously. And I wonder what it is/was that stopped her from being as evil as she pretended to be. Because you do eventually become who you pretend to be, don't you? I think I saw that on Xena once.
So I'm not in love with her. But I care about her, and I'm attracted to her. I even kinda lust after her. And come on, it's so obvious she feels the same way about me. I'm not in love with her, and I don't really love her like *that*, but that kiss meant something to me, and it obviously didn't...to her. Or maybe it did, and she's blocking it out. I don't know what it is, but I didn't get to say anything I wanted to say to her, and I didn't hear anything I wanted to hear. I don't even really know what I wanted to hear. All I know is, for the past few years, we've had this really...this awkward relationship. And I want this awkwardness to end.
Because things were once good between us. It was like having a younger sister, at least...back when I was an only child. I kind of remember it the way it really happened...being with Faith, finally feeling like I had a sister--even better than a sister, because Faith knew what it was like to be me. Dawn and I may both have Summers blood, but Faith and I both have slayers blood, and somehow I think that Slayer blood may be more powerful than Summers blood. Most of the time, I remember Faith in relation to Dawn. But sometimes, I remember it the way it really happened, and I just feel differently about her. Maybe because I remember Faith kinda harassing Dawn when she turned evil, I start to resent her---until I remember it didn't actually happen.
Maybe I haven't fully gotten over everything that's happened between us. She betrayed us all...the two of us, we've always had a love-hate relationship. But it's just kind of tiring, trading barbs and trying to put each other down. It's all halfhearted to begin with. We were never supposed to coexist. I was supposed to stay dead, Kendra would have been called, she would have eventually died, and then Faith would have been called and maybe or maybe she would have survived as long as she did now. I don't think either of us would have lived as long as we have if it weren't for each other.
She wants to leave. She's wanted to leave for years. Wesley, too. Sometimes, I see them whispering and laughing together, talking about LA, and they look like lovers sharing a private joke. Sunnydale just isn't big enough for two Slayers and two Watchers, but we're all stuck here.
Sunnydale's been consistently overcrowded since the Mayor....exploded. All the demons that were scurrying out of Sunnydale came scurrying back, bringing more demons. There's been an Apocalypse threat every few years since we've graduated highschool. So they stay, because they're needed. And neither of them are really happy. I don't know how to make it better for either of them. But I really want to make it better for Faith.
It's a Slayer thing, I guess.
We're patrolling. Faith's quiet, per usual. We're scanning opposite sides of Main Street.
"You're quiet," I comment.
"Huh?" she grunts.
"You're quiet," I repeat, somewhat exasperated.
"Hm," she comments, noncommittally.
"Somethin' on your mind?" I prod.
She turns to look at me, and we both stop. She cocks her head to one side and grins crookedly. "C'mon now, B. You know there's never anything goin' on in here." She points to her head, and laughs.
I slap her shoulder. "No, really!"
She shrugs. "Nothin' in particular" she says, looking confused. She looks around and sighs deeply. "Man, no action tonight," she says. "I can't fucken believe it."
I have to agree. There's been no activity tonight. It's amazing, really. It's so slow that I'm falling asleep standing.
She rolls her eyes. "Let's, like, patrol for another twenty minutes, and then we'll just call it a night?"
I agree. "Yeah."
Another twenty minutes go by, nothing happens. We part ways in front of the Espresso Pump. "Giles wants to train tomorrow morning," I say. "Meet us at 9:30?"
"I'm your girl," she says.
"Are you?"
She laughs. "I guess I am, for a few hours tomorrow morning, at least. See ya, B."
And I see her walk away.
I head home. I catch Dawn making out with Jimmy on the couch. Both of them look like I'm going to kill them, but I just glare at them. All of Dawn's shirt buttons are still done, so I guess it's not that big of a deal. I can't believe how much she's grown up. I pass by my mother's old room. The door's open, and Willow and Tara are laughing. They both stop to wave at me. I smile and I go on to my room.
I'm sitting on my bed when I realise that I want to see Faith. I crawl out my window, and I head for her apartment. She and I need to talk. Okay, so she's never been one for those "hug and cry, learn and grow" type talks, but she's more open now, and I'm kinda tired of all the mixed messages I get from her. I just want to lay all the cards out on the table, and maybe, finally, after all these years of awkward politeness, we can either clear the air or try and get back that easy friendship we once had.
I'm about to knock on the door to her apartment, when I hear her squeal and laugh. A man laughs with her, and they shush each other. You know, after all these years, this may be the fourth time I've ever been here. Did she pick someone up? Jesus, we just saw each other, like, an hour ago!
The guy's talking, he sounds familiar somehow. But I can't really tell who it is. The door muffles their voices enough so that I can't understand anything. I guess she'll just have to get rid of him, because I want to talk.
I knock on the door.
"That must be the Chinese!" Faith yells happily, so loud that I understand her perfectly clear. The door opens.
It's Wes. He's holding open the door. Faith's standing behind him, one of her arms around his shoulders. And they're both laughing, and looking *so* happy. And it's obvious that they're both so familiar with each other...it's clear that whatever they've been doing, they've been doing this for a while.
The both of them look shocked.
"Buffy," Wes says.
"B!"
Faith bites her lip, and looks at me and then looks to Wesley. "Come on in."
I step into her apartment and I see that her kitchen table's all set up. Candles, flowers, plates anticipating food. There's music playing on her stereo, it's not her usual heavy metal. It's a little softer than I thought she'd like, but it's also a little harder than I would have thought *he'd* like.
Wes rubs his hand against his right cheek. And I realise he's shaven. He puts his arm around her shoulders, like he's defending her.
They both look so happy, and I'm just lost. Because I just don't understand a thing about them. And in all honesty, I feel jealous. But more than anything else, I'm confused. I don't understand. The two of them are together? Since when? And how is it that the rest of us are all so clueless?
Wes and Faith are shifting around uncomfortably, and looking horribly guilty. I'm not really sure for what though. It's not like Wes is that old. Although it probably does violate some sort of Watcher-Slayer code. Not that any of us really care what the Council thinks, but it just seems strange. It's one of the few times I've seen either of them act anything less than cool in a really long time.
Faith looks at Wesley and cocks her head slightly. She raises an eyebrow. "You'd better..." she points to her head towards the door.
"Are you..." Wesley looks at her, and he looks a little distressed.
"Yeah," she says.
What is with this silent communication? Are they really THAT close? Even Faith and I don't have that, and we generally understand what the other means, even when we're communicating nonverbally.
Wesley nods slightly, as she smiles at him and makes a gesturing indicating that everything is all right. He grabs his jacket and heads towards the door. He looks at her one more time before he finally leaves. She promptly turns on all the lights and blows out the candles on the table.
"Wes and I are screwing," she announces simply, finally looking at me straight in the eye.
No kidding.
"No kidding," I say.
She grins.
"Do you love him?"
Her reaction immediately changes. She even looks like she's turning a little green. "What?" she asks.
I roll my eyes. "Do you love him? How come you guys never told anyone that you're involved."
"Giles knows," Faith says, nonchalantly.
He does? Why didn't he tell me?
Faith observes my face. I must look indignant, because she laughs and says, "Giles can keep a secret."
"So it's a secret now?"
"Why are you so pissed off, B? What, Faith the Slut can't settle down?" Now she sounds angry.
"That's not it," I insist. And it's not. I'm HAPPY that she's changed in that sense. And Wesley is a good guy. I am just a little bewildered. And why did we kiss...
Faith frowns slightly. "Let's just drop this," she mutters. "What's the what, B?"
Shit. I came here to talk to her about *us* and the kiss, I just wanted to make things...I don't know what I want. But I can see it's a moot point, what with Wesley being here and all. She still didn't answer my question about whether or not she loves him. It's hard to judge by her reaction. She might not love him, or she might really love him and she just doesn't want to talk about it. Faith isn't exactly known for her desire to talk about herself or her feelings. I don't want to pressure her since she doesn't look like she wants to talk about this anymore. And I'm not about to make an ass of myself by telling her our kiss meant something to me. Not when she's made it clear that it didn't mean anything to her, not even a little.
I have to hurry to think something up.
"Uh, well, I just...have you seen my ring," I blurt. Inwardly, I wince. I am not very bright. I don't have to act dumb, I AM dumb. "It's my favourite ring." Oh, God! Am I still talking? I am still talking. My mouth keeps running off, and my brain is sane enough to want me to shut up, but my mouth isn't getting the message. "I lost it either yesterday during training or today...I searched all over for it, but I couldn't find it, and it's not as though you live very far, and I am still wired from patrol...you know...no kill tonight, so...I just came over. I didn't mean to interrupt anything." I am the Babble Queen, I can't do ANYTHING.
Faith just laughs. "The silver ring with the butterfly?"
I think I blinked. Yeah, I blinked. "What?" I ask.
"The silver ring with the butterfly," she repeats, slowly. What am I, a retard? Why do people do that?
Oh my God. I actually did lose a ring? I know what ring she's talking about. I like that ring!
"Yes!" I say happily. Oh, for once, someone must be on my side.
"I found it this afternoon," she said. "I put it behind the counter. You can get it tomorrow at our training session, I guess."
Yay!
There's a knock at the door. "Food," she mumbles. She goes to the door and hands the guy some cash. She comes back bearing an armload of food. "Why don't you stay, B?" she offers, and she smiles at me. It's such a sweet smile. I've never seen her smile like that before. "There's so much food that even I can't finish it all."
I begin to protest, but...why the hell not? Dawn's busy with Jimmy. Willow and Tara are all lovey-dovey. If I go home, I'm just going to be by myself in my room anyway. "Yeah," I tell her, "sounds good to me."
She grins and promptly begins spooning out food. "God, I'm starved."
I am so full, I think I am going to explode. Egg rolls, chow-fun, fried rice, shrimp in lobster sauce, and braised oysters. And the portions were huge. Faith pats her tummy. "I am so full," she says, exhaling deeply. "God."
I rub MY tummy. I don't feel so good.
"I don't feel so good."
Faith's lips quirk into a tiny smile. Yeah, keep being amused, Slightly Taller Slayer. While we're on that subject, it bothers me that people always think she towers over me. She does not tower over me. She is...MAYBE three inches taller than I am. It's those clunky boots she's always wearing. I just wanted to get that off my chest. And anyway, Dawn's taller than the both of us, so I don't see why people are always comparing me and Faith and joking about how she's all tall. Cos she's not!
Okay, sensitive about my height much? Yeah, I think so.
She's AMUSED by that fact that I feel like a boulder the size of the Grand Canyon is in the pit of my stomach. Seriously. I don't feel like I can move. I'M probably green by now.
"Aw, B's little tummy can't take all the big girl food, eh?" she teases.
I narrow my eyes at her. "I don't see YOU doing jumping jacks and going swimming," I snipe back.
She looks confused. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Cos you know how you're supposed to wait thirty minutes after you eat to go swimming?" She looks decidely unimpressed. Does no one understand the way my brain works? Brain, meet everyone else. Hopefully, one day, there will be an understanding between all parties involved.
She clears her throat, and gestures towards her bed. Why is she gesturing towards her bed! If I can barely move, I certainly don't want to do that! Yeah, I do.
"Do you want to lay down, B?" she asks, "I just changed the sheets this morning. All clean, you won't have to deal with any of my dead skin cells."
Ew. Raise your hand if ...'ew'. And she didn't want to do anything in her bed together...oh. Oh. When did she get to be so polite and considerate?
You know, I take that back. She can be very polite and considerate when she wants to be. Like the way she charmed my mom the first time they met. When they first met, Faith politely "ma'am" and "Ms. Summers"ed my mom. It was only later on when Mom acted like she wanted to adopt Faith that Faith started calling her "Mrs. S." She can be very polite and Miss Manners when she wants to be. It's all part of the Faith Charm.
Lying down sounds good. Ugh. "Do you mind?" I ask. I can be polite too.
"Nah, go ahead," she says. I walk over to her bed and plop down. That is SO much better. Her bed is so comfortable. And her sheets smell nice. And they're very soft.
"Nice sheets," I comment. I don't really like silence that may become uncomfortable. We need conversation going.
"Wes bought them for me," she says absently. "They're like, those sheets with high thread counts. Whatever the fuck that means. They're just sheets to me." She's cleaning up. I would offer to help, but I'm in pain. And I'm lazy.
"Tomorrow, why don't you come over for dinner at my house?" I ask. "I can show you that I can clean up, too."
She smiles. "I would, but Wes and I are probably gonna...and...y'know."
"Oh." I can't help but feel disappointed. Why do I feel that way? It's not like I'm in looooove with her, right? She's dating Wesley. This is a good thing. I didn't see it coming, and if you had told me this would happen four years ago back when he had a stake up his English Channel and Faith thought he wasn't even worth her time, I would have laughed in your face.
She finishes cleaning up. "Is your stomach feeling better?" she asks.
"Yeah," I say, "I just need to lie down a little longer. Is that okay?"
"Of course." She grins.
"What are you going to do?"
She shrugs. And begins taping up her hands. She pulls her hair back into a ponytail and gestures towards the punching bag in the corner of the living room. "Burn off some excess energy from..." her voice trails off and she grins at me wickedly. Yeah, I get it. The lack of a good slay and a good lay. Ha.
I watch her punch the punching bag, her arms and fists just a flurry of movement that I can barely follow. She's making me dizzy. I close my eyes.
The next thing I'm aware of is Faith calling my name and shaking me gently. "B," she says, "you can stay, if you want. But Red, Blondie and the Little Sis might get worried about you if you don't come down for your big ol' family breakfast. So..." She sounds a little sad and a little bitter as she says that thing about the family breakfasts.
I sit up, and glance at the clock. 3 am. I should probably get going. "Sorry for occupying your bed," I tell her.
She shrugs. "No worries. Come on, let's get you home."
I stand up and stretch. "Okay."
She walks me towards the door and hands me my jacket and then grabs her own.
"Whatcha doin?" I ask.
"Walkin' you home," she says, her voice cracking slighly in a way that I find completely endearing. I really think it's cute when her voice cracks like that. God, what is with me lately? It's not that I find girls attractive. I don't think I'm a lesbian, or even bisexual. It's just...Faith really appeals to me. She appealed to me when I was in high school, except I kinda let petty jealousy over Angel get in the way. And then there was the whole evil thing. And the way she killed people. So she kind of lost some appeal with me. But she was never REALLY evil, and..well, I'll have to think about this later. The Faith who went away for a year and came back from L.A. with Wesley is different though, and she's just...all-around appealing.
Cos she just seems more stable now. Always a plus.
"Why? Don't you think I can take care of myself?"
She rolls her eyes. "Whatever, Sleepy Slayer. Let's go."
So she walks me back to my house. We stop at the door while I fumble with my keys. "Why don't you stay? You can have breakfast with us."
She looks exasperated and interested at the same time. "My window's open, B. I didn't plan for a sleepover"
"Who's going to break in? Vampires can't get in without invites and no human is dumb enough to walk around in this town at this time of night."
"I don't have anything to wear. Even I can't sleep in this."
"Borrow something of mine."
"Like it'd fit, Shorty."
"You can borrow something of Dawn's, even if the pants would be way too long for you."
Ha! Take that! Faith looks really outraged. "Hey, I'm closer in height to Dawnie than to you."
"Sure, you are," I say. Whatever! No, she's not! "What's the point in you walking all the way back home?"
"It's not that far, B," she chortles. She looks at me like I'm the world's biggest goofball. I AM being a little goofy. Why do I even want her to sleep over so badly? I've been lonely, I guess. Not that I NEED to sleep with someone, it's just...life's kinda lonely. And she knows what it's like. Or at least, I think she does. I always thought she'd understand.
"Will you call me when you get in?" I ask.
She looks at me oddly. "Why?"
"To let me know you're safe."
She rolls her eyes. "What's gonna get me?"
"It only takes one vampire, Faith," I tell her. She rolls her eyes again. But it's true. There was always just one of us, and so many of THEM. Maybe there's two of us now, but there's always thousands, maybe even millions of them. And it just takes one vamp to get us, when we're not being careful or whatever. And thinking that no one can ever touch you is the fastest way to getting killed. Wes was right when he said a good slayer was a cautious slayer. Even if he was a complete doofus when he said it.
"I'll call," she says, seeing that I'm about to lecture her. She cut me off. Dammit.
This is one of those things that normal girls would do. You know? It's a dangerous world out there. So, if one girl would be walking home alone, of course she'd be expected to call the other girl to confirm her safety. But Faith and I...we never really think about that. I mean, yeah, we're not NORMAL, and we always worry about the kinds of things lot of other girls and women worry about when they're walking around alone at night...but it'd be nice to PRETEND that we're normal when the situation arises. And calling someone to let them know you got home okay is just common sense. And if you think about it, we should be doubly vigilant about that. Any vamp or demon could get her while she's walking home...I'm not thinking about that. Stop it, brain.
"Yeah?" I ask.
"Yeah."
"If you don't, I'll call you," I warn.
She laughs. "Why do you have a bug up your butt about this?"
I do not. I am just being a good friend. She's the one that needs to learn about courtesy and safety and all that stuff. "I just want to know you're okay," I explain. "I'd worry, you know."
She gives me a little smile. It's a genuine smile. So maybe it's not one of her big, beaming, FAKE smiles, but it's a real one. She looks...touched. "You would?"
I frown. "Of course, I would."
She shifts her feet. "Not many people..." She grimaces.
I'm disappointed that she didn't...I thought she was going to open up to me, but...it's really hard to picture Faith as vulnerable, even though I've SEEN her vulnerable...like, when we first met and we had that whole Kakistos thing. She looked so scared and YOUNG. But when I think of Faith, I never think of her as vulnerable, and if I hadn't seen the way she was almost paralysed with fear in front of Kakistos, I could never even imagine it. Sometimes, it's hard to remember that she can be vulnerable too. I'm guessing it's because of all the stuff that's happened in her life...she doesn't really talk about it, but I'm guessing she didn't have a rosy childhood with a lot of pretty things like I did.
"I should go," she said, gesturing towards the back with her thumb. "See ya, B. I'll call. But you better sit by the phone. Don't wanna wake anyone up."
Wow. She IS a lot more considerate than I gave her credit for. "Do you want to come over for breakfast tomorrow?" I ask.
"Hell, no I'm not waking up that early."
Heh. Classic Faith.
"You okay, Faith?"
"Five by five."
Yeah. THAT'S classic Faith. Her eyes look sad, but she's being very flippant. You can't win them all, I guess.
"You sure you don't want to come over for breakfast," I ask. "You have to get up early anyway. Training, remember?"
"Nah, I'll see you at the Box."
"Okay."
I go inside. The phone finally rings--fifteen minutes later.
"I'm home."
"Good."
"Okay. Good-night, B."
"I'm going to set a place for you tomorrow anyway. Come if you just happen to wake up early."
"Thanks. See ya tomorrow."
"Good-night, Faith."
I'm setting the table while Willow makes pancakes, Tara cracks some eggs into the skillet and fries up some sausage and Dawn toasts some bread. I like to cook, but setting the table is a lot easier.
"Why five settings?" Dawn asks.
"I asked Faith to come over."
Dawn's face brightens, but all she says is "cool." Dawn's been doing that Faith-like monosyllabic thing lately. It kind of bothers me since Mom raised us better than to only say stuff like, "cool" and "okay" and "yeah." You get the idea. I look over at Willow who only looks up at me when I announce that Faith might come over. They still don't like each other that much, but I think they respect each other as Slayer and Witch. When we have to work together, like, diverting apocalypses (apocalypi?) or other demony stuff, they work well together. I don't think the word "apocalypse" was MEANT to have a plural, but leave it to my life to need it. God.
Tara looks pleased that Faith might be coming over. They're friendly with each other. Willow and Tara share a look, and Tara stops smiling, but turns back to give me a little smile. She's so sweet.
I pull out the orange juice from the fridge and start pouring it into cups. Then the doorbell rings.
Everyone turns to look at me.
"I'll get it," I say, feeling a a little grudgingly about it. I guess it's only fair, I mean, I am the only one not currently operating an appliance that might cause a fire if left unattended, but *still*. But I'm always the one that answers the door, just like I'm always the one that takes out the garbage. But I do my best to sound cute cos if I sound less than peppy, they get all worried. The whole staying dead for a summer thing tends to do that.
I'm at the door and I realise it's Faith. Oh, good. I didn't think she'd actually come, she's not really social with us. But I kept hoping she would, and look, there she is.
"Hi," I say, making sure to smile.
She gives me a tiny smile. "Hey," she says. "I, uh, got up early." She gives a small shrug and she hesitantly hands me a box of Krispy Kreme donuts.
This is so like when she came over for Christmas. I wish she'd just be comfortable coming over for non-emergencies and non imminent disaster-related meetings.
I take the box of donuts, "YOU woke up early," I tease. I take her arm. "Come on in."
She steps inside. "Yeah," says in a deadpan voice that would rival Oz's, "I glanced up at the clock and was sure the world had ended."
I laugh. And we joke around a little as we go into the kitchen.
"Hi Faith," Dawn calls.
"Hey, Kid," Faith greets.
Tara waves and smiles.
Faith gives her this full-on smile. "Hey Blondie."
Willow looks up and gives her this tiny smile. "Hi. Faith."
"Hey Will."
Willow looks away and Faith turns back to me. See, they're civil.
"Faith brought Krispy Kreme."
This brings sounds of approval from everyone. We are such girls. And uh, let's just say that we all kinda regulate together and that we're regulating together *right now*. Hence the huge breakfast.
Anyway, we sit down to eat. We don't have much time, so we eat like barbarians. Tara and Willow have an early class together. They leave first.
Janice comes over and she and Dawn head out to school.
So it's just me and Faith. We're cleaning up and giving a chance for the food to digest before we have to train. Eating before we train is never really a good idea. I mean, who eats before they work out? But we tend to metabolise things quickly, so when we do have to train in a few minutes, everything will be five by five as Faith likes to say.
"That was good," Faith says, drying the last plate and setting it on the rack. She pats her stomach. "Thanks."
"You should come over more often," I tell her.
She doesn't respond, and the mood's a little bit less friendly than it was a few seconds ago.
"Let's go," I say, trying not to sigh.
She nods.
"I'm sorry," I repeat.
Faith looks pissed off, but she just nods. She holds the cloth to her nose.
"I REALLY am," I insist.
Faith gives me this look that's a mix between I-am-so-going-to-kill-you and whatever. But she finally says, "it's okay, B." but since she's pinching her nose, she comes out sounding like one of the Alvin and the Chipmunks. So I laugh.
She glares at me.
"This doesn't mean I'm not sorry," I say, trying to stop laughing.
She rolls her eyes. "Didn't you hear him call time?" she asks, sounding very exasperated.
"It was too late! And what about YOUR reflexes?"
She looks at me indignantly and yanks the cloth away. "Like I was expecting your fist to come flying at my face, like, a fucking minute after Giles called time!" she almost bellows. A trickle of blood drips out of her nose and she instantly recovers the cloth to her face.
"It wasn't a MINUTE," I say. It wasn't! It wasn't even HALF a minute. I just spaced out for a second, and I kinda hit her while she was half-facing Giles. I thought she'd BLOCK me. "And anyway, what's up with your reflexes."
"REFLEXES?" she shouts. She drops the cloth to the ground and throws her arms up into the air. "REFLEXES! If it weren't for my REFLEXES, you would have taken my bloody HEAD OFF."
Bloody? She never says that. This is a total indicator that she's been spending too much time around around Wesley. Even Faith looks a little shocked by what she said. You can almost see her mentally scratching her head.
She glares at me. Her fingers pinching her nose. "You suck," she says, sounding like a chipmunk again. A giggle gets forced out of me. The Queen of the Raspy Voice sounding like she sucked in a bunch of helium. And since most of her makeup got washed away by the icepack she had on earlier, she LOOKS really young too. Never thought I'd see the day when she was *adorable*, especially in a situation like this, but here she is, looking very adorable.
She finally laughs. "It's fine," she says, rolling her eyes.
"I feel really bad," I tell her again. "I really do. Let me make it up to you, let's go get some ice cream."
She shakes her head. "I have to go see Wesley," she says softly.
"But it's only, like, three o'clock," I point out, "I thought you were just meeting for dinner."
"We're going to that film noir festival," she says, looking a little embarrassed and sad. "His idea."
Oh. So they're, like, really boyfriend and girlfriend....
But she doesn't look really happy about it. "What's wrong?" I ask.
She opens her mouth to speak, "it's just that..." her voice trails off, and she frowns. And suddenly, it's Bad Ass Faith again. "It's five by five," she says. And we all know that she says that when things AREN'T okay, and she doesn't walk to talk about stuff.
I reach out and put my hand on her shoulder. "Faith, c'mon...really. What's wrong?"
She frowns. "You wouldn't understand," she mutters, but she almost looks...hurt. "You wouldn't know what it's like, so just...just, leave me alone." And she shrugs off my hand and walks away.
Well, that didn't go well.
What wouldn't I understand? I thought we understood each better than anyone ever could, even when we don't WANT to understand each other, we understand each other.
"You will open up to me," I say to the empty air. I'm hoping saying it out loud will one day make it true.
Author's Note: Corny reference to Eliza Dushku's new show contained.
It's been a few weeks since I've almost removed Faith's head from her body during our little training session. Right now, I'm covered in demon goo, literally from head to toe and standing in Faith's bathroom. We were only a blocks from her apartment, so we went there to clean up. She's standing outside the door, yelling at me to hurry up and that if the demon stench sets on her, she was going to kill me.
"B!" she shrieks, pounding on the door. "HURRY UP! I only let you have the first shower to be nice. I'm getting stinkier by the second here!"
Fuck. This demon was seriously gross. When we beheaded it, it just sort of fell apart and covered us in this green and brown, very thick goo. By the time we got to her apartment, we were even smellier. I have no doubt in my mind that she is, actually, getting stinkier.
I step out of the shower, and pull open the door and stick my head out. "Just step inside," I say.
She blinks. "Shower...together?"
Oh shit. What did I just suggest? I swallow hard, but I act like I'm tough. "What, you have something I don't have?"
She glares at me, and rises to the challenge. She pushes by me, and shucks off her clothes and throws them into the sink on top of my ruined clothes. I swallow hard again. God, she's PERFECT. She steps into the shower and I step in after her. We literally scrub our bodies raw to get the smell out, and use up almost full bottles of shampoo and conditioner. We scrub each other's backs to get those hard-to-reach places, and even though I get a full view of...everything, we're too busy trying not to retch from the smell of ourselves.
God. This is horrible. Finally, we start smelling like the Bed Head shampoo and conditioner she's using and this Neutrogena body wash she uses. Thank God. So we dry off.
We head into her room and she gives me some clothes to wear-- shorts and a tank top. I'm brushing my hair in front of her mirror when I notice some huge books on the floor near her dresser. "What're those?" I ask.
"The Oxford English Dictionary and some books," she says, vaguely, rubbing lotion on her bare legs. God, she has nice legs.
"They don't seem like your normal reading," I say.
She looks at me and frowns, "what're you saying? That I'm freaking dumb? What, I didn't finish highschool so I can't have a book?"
Geez! Where did THAT come from? I didn't mean it that way AT ALL.
"That's NOT how I meant it," I snap, we're both just so irritated.
She relents first and rolls her eyes, "sorry," she says. "Really. I got those for...well, you know what a book guy Wes is," she says softly. "And I'm just...well, you know. I didn't even finish highschool. I just thought I'd...he wants..." she sighs. "Nevermind."
"Faith, you don't have to...you don't have to try and CHANGE yourself into what he wants. That's not right. You just have to be yourself."
She looks away, but she looks angry. "Whatever, B." she says, and walks away.
I follow her as she puts on heavy duty gloves and stuffs our clothes into a garbage bag. And that garbage bag into another garbage bag. Then she kind of smells her sink and looks horrified. She grabs some Comet and scrubs the sink and then pours bleach into it. God, she really is the anal neatfreak. Who'd know? You really could never tell from looking at her. But I remember how clean her motel room was, so I'm not exactly surprised, but still. She looks a little mournfully at the bag. "I really liked that outfit."
Yeah, I liked mine too.
We stand in her bathroom, kind of mourning the loss of our clothes, when the smell gets to us and we run out of the apartment. We sink the clothes into the Harbour. I hope we're not poisoning an ecosystem...but those clothes were too horribly smelly to throw away or bury without hitting the earth's crust. Besides, gallons of water were enough to get rid of the smell on us, so an entire Harbour ought to do the trick for our clothes. It's not like she was wearing that much.
"Wanna get back to my place and grab something to eat?" she asks.
"Yeah, that be great."
So we go back. The first thing she does is go into her bathroom. "It still smells a little like that damn demon," she shouts, slamming her fist on her bathroom wall in frustration. The smell of bleach is overpowering me and I'm like, YARDS away. I don't know how she can smell the demon over the bleach. Geez. She's like Monica from Friends.
Like I said, who'd know?
Then she comes into the kitchen and we bake some frozen pizza. We're sitting on her couch, watching tv and eating some popcorn and drinking some Coke while we wait. That thing about what she said about Wesley kind of eats away at me. Because I remember feeling that way about Angel, and dressing up like those courtly girls from when Angel was...well, my age and then feeling so relieved when he told me he just liked me for me. And I think every person should have a person who just likes them for being themselves.
I don't want her to feel...insecure like that. I don't know what it is. I mean, I'd feel the same way about Dawn, y'know? And Faith really is a little sister of sorts, but there's really nothing sisterly I feel for her. I do like her... and I mean I like her like her, not just that I like her.
"Faith," I tell her. "What I said earlier...you can just be yourself. I mean...heck, even I like you for you, and God knows you made that hard."
She snorts, and laughs. "You're one of few," she says, self-deprecatingly.
"You just have to be you..."
She looks like she wants to bolt, so I change the topic. Yeah, yeah. Faith. Not too good with the sensitive chats. So I try to ease her mind, this is *her* apartment, after all. "Is that pizza ready?"
For a brief second, she looks relieved and then she stands up and pads over to the kitchen and peeks into her oven. "Yep."
She pulls it out and cuts into it immediately and brings it back with two plates. She hands me one plate with a slice on it and sit down onto the couch. "Buffy?" she asks softly.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"Sure."
We keep eating and watching TV. This is nice. I glance at her profile. She seems glued to South Park. Ha. They talk like her, they sound almost as foul as she does.
When I wake up, I'm aware of someone's head on my shoulder.
Faith.
I glance around. We must have fallen asleep. On the television is an infomercial. Ooh, I want that. It works as a spatula and tongs and all sorts of things. Nifty.
It's like, four in the morning. Shit. I can't believe I fell asleep. I really should get home, but I'm still really sleepy. Faith's breath and hair tickles my shoulders.
I brush my hands through her hair, trying to wake her up. I feel bad about doing it, but somehow I think it'd be worse for me to just leave. "Faith."
I move my shoulders a little.
She leans into me. Then pulls away, suddenly awake, her eyes wide.
"Oh, wow. B."
"I guess we fell asleep."
"Yeah."
She stands up, stretches and glances at her clock. "It's really early...or really late. You should just stay here, B," she says with a yawn. She drops back onto the couch, and nudges me with her toes. "Take my bed."
"It's your bed, I should take the couch."
She yawns. She looks really beat. "I sleep on the couch a lot. I'm used to it. It's wicked comfortable to me."
"What, like, you take naps on it? You don't strike me as a nap person."
She yawns again. "I sleep here mostly when Wes stays over," she says, sleepily. She's falling asleep again. "I can't really get used to sharing a bed with someone I've...y'know." Her eyes are closed and she smiles with that self-deprecating grin that I've come to recognise. "I guess once a get some, get gone skank, always a get some, get gone skank."
"You aren't a skank," I protest. She likes to act like she is one, and maybe she's not just acting, but it just seems wrong for someone to call herself a skank. I don't get why she's always putting herself down.
She snorts in derision and rubs her hand across her eyes, "you don't know me at all," she jokes. She's always joking. She doesn't really like to talk about anything serious.
No, I don't, but it's not from lack of trying. I keep that to myself for now. I think she'd get angry at me if I had said that.
Her voice had started to fade as she said that. She's asleep. I'm not taking her bed. I pick her up, and she cocks an eye at me. Geez, what a light sleeper. Light sleepers make horrible roommates. "Wha--"
"Shh..."
She looks slightly panicked. I'm guessing it's been a long time since anyone's, like, babied her like this. "Wha--"
"Shh. Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you." I pick her up and carry her into her bedroom. "This is *your* bed," I tell her.
"B--" she protests, getting up.
"I'll take the couch."
I push her back down and bring the covers over her.
"You should take the bed," she mutters again.
She's really tired. I know she'd been up for, like, 35 hours...
"You take the bed," I repeat. The bed's big enough to share, and I would have offered to shared it when she offered it to me, but I knew that she'd refuse. And she's doesn't like sharing beds, so even if I had been able to pressure her into it, she would have gone to the couch, which would have totally defeated the purpose of it.
"There's an extra blanket in the hall closet," she mumbles before she falls asleep and I leave the room.
I make myself comfortable on the couch, and I realise that I'm jealous of Wesley for being with Faith. I don't get why she feels the need to change for Wesley, of all people. I have nothing against him, I just still remember what he used to be like. I hope he isn't making her think she has to change. One of the reasons why I was so surprised to learn that they're dating is because he always seemed so keen on being her Watcher. Especially after they came back from LA, he just seemed obsessed with being her Watcher again. But that's all. Oh, sure, I knew he'd probably want to have sex with her. Who doesn't? Even I do now. But he just seemed really intent on being her Watcher, not her boyfriend. It's just weird to me, because it doesn't seem like it's a very smart thing to do. Sure, people date their coworkers, but I don't know about Wesley and Faith. Neither of them seem especially happy to be with each other, but they make a really good Watcher-Slayer team. They're different from Giles and me, because Giles thinks of me as a daughter and I think of him as a father, so every once in a while, he'll try and order me around. But Wesley doesn't really do that. He's made it clear that he trusts her judgment and he's not trying to thrust his will on her like he used to do. He doesn't give her orders and he can stand by and let her take over, which is why they work as Watcher-Slayer, but as boyfriend-girlfriend? Eh... I sense that there's gonna be some backlash for that, and it won't be good. Plus, I'm kinda jealous of him.
I fall asleep thinking about what it would be like to date her.
When I finally wake up again, it's already about ten am, and Faith's eating a bagel, her back against the kitchen sink.
"Hey," she calls. "Want a bagel?"
"Yeah, please. Thanks."
She puts down her bagel and begins toasting me one. "How'd you sleep?" she asks, "that couch isn't the most comfortable in the world. You should have just taken my bed..."
"It was good," I say, smiling at her. I stand up and stretch. That feels better.
She looks at me. "You're gonna need to borrow some clothes."
I look down and agree. "But nothing leather, I'm just going home."
She grins at me. "Okay, okay."
We eat our bagels together while watching the midmorning news. This is really nice. It almost feels normal.
You know, it's not that I crave being normal. I don't. Because if I WERE normal, I think I'd still be the way I was before I was called. You know, I was just this shallow Valley Girl type. And I'm still kind of am. But now I have a mission and purpose in life, and how many people can really say that? How many people can say that have a true calling? I mean, I have an actual destiny. And even though it sucks not having a choice in the matter, having that choice just ripped away from me, and knowing that I'll never leave this town and I'll never do all the things I dreamed about when I was a kid, it's worth it. Like, in the long-term scheme, y'know? Because when I died the second time, I went to Heaven, and I think when I die finally, I'll end up back in Heaven, y'know? I don't know. I was never one for believing in God and all that sort of religious and spiritual stuff, but I feel like I'll ultimately be saved, like my life will be worth so much more than I ever thought it'd be worth. And if the sacrifice is this so-called normal life, then it's completely and totally worth it.
But right now, just hanging out with my FRIEND, Faith and eating breakfast together while we watch the news about some low-speed chase in L.A., things feel normal. And it's weird how another Slayer makes me feel so normal. Technically, only one of us should be here....her. But here we both are, and just the fact that there is a both of us is an anomaly, but here I am feeling all NORMAL, and it feels nice, even if it won't last. I mean, the only reason I am here is because I fell asleep after getting covered in demon goo. That's far from normal. But it's okay.
It feels right, that there's two of us. I mean, I was jealous at first, and once you're told that you're the one girl chosen and all that, you get kinda used to feeling special. And you don't feel really good sharing that specialness. But it feels good being able to share the burden. Maybe we were never supposed to coexist, maybe that's why we've always had such a hard time getting along and why things get so awkward between us sometimes, but I think we work well together and we keep each other alive when we're patrolling and fighting beside each other. I don't know about her, but having someone watch my back feels right to me. I don't particularly want to die again. After all, there's a beautiful world that I need to show to Dawn, and I'm not a promise breaker.
...continued in chapter 11...