State of Mind
by Tab
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Buffy and Faith belong to Joss Whedon I just borrowed
them and threw them into Girl Interrupted which belongs to the
talented director and author.
Author's Notes: Ok this intro is just an idea for an upcoming fic. I
have been having problems with the fic Reach for Me so I decided to
try to write something that I could hopefully be more interested in.
This fic is a crossover with Girl Interrupted however it does not
have Lisa nor Susanna, but it has Buffy and Faith and the rest of
the characters in Girl Interrupted. I've always wondered about the
episode when Buffy starts to believe she could be in a mental
institute and have wanted to write a crossover fic with Girl
Interrupted. Anyways here's the fic please please please give me
feedback because I'm not sure if I should go on with this fic or not
yet.
*Just in case you don't know:
catatonic schizophrenic: is basically a mental condition when they
live a life in their head and do not move or react to things around
them.
*It's best to have seen the movie Girl Interrupted but I don't think
it's necessary*
Feedback: Ofcourse :)
Faith's POV:
Another boring day, jeez I gotta get out of this hell hole. I look down at the cards I'm holding and place them down sick of the card game we play each day.
"Razors pain ya, Rivers are damp, Acids sting ya, Drugs cause cramp, Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give, Gas smells awful, Ya might as well live." I lightly say before getting up and leaving the nut jobs. I stretch my arms above my head, trying to think of something to do.
That's when I saw her. Valerie was talking to two people that must've been her parents, while pushing this petite blonde number in a wheel chair. Her hair was a mess and her eyes looked vacant and lost. I wanted to know everything about her, she captivated me. I knew I could get lost in her and I wanted to.
I dragged my eyes away from the babe and tried to hear what Dr. Val was talking about.
"Mrs. Summers I assure you we've dealt with catatonic schizophrenic patients before. Your daughter is in good hands."
Damn just my fucking luck she's a vegetable.
"See honey she'll be fine," the man I assume is Mr. Summers reassures his wife.
They walk past me and head down another hall of rooms. When they reach the fourth room on the left they stop. No fucking way! I AM NOT sharing a room with a freaking vegetable. Incredibly pissed I stomp my way over to them.
Val, hearing my stomps, turns around also turning around the blonde in the wheel chair. Holy shit wasn't expecting her to do that. I stand there with my mouth slightly open most likely looking like an idiot. But all I can think about are her eyes and how they seem to be looking far off, as if she can see something that the rest of us can only dream about, and the way her nose is slightly uneven giving her character, and her flawless beautiful body. I smile and look up at Val.
"So who's the fresh meat?" Val looks at me with an annoyed smile and she turns back to the blonde's parents.
"This is Faith, she's another one of the patients here. And also Buffy's room mate…"
"Huh? Buffy, that's a.."
"Unique name" Mrs. S finishes my sentence and smiles. "Hi Faith, I'm Mrs. Summers and this is Mr. Summers" she says as she continues to walk into my room. They all follow her and I decide to do the same.
"Isn't the room a little small for the two of them?" Mrs. Summers asks. I raise my eyebrows. Hell this room is huge compared to my old place.
"Well this is a standard two person bedroom and because of Buffy's state she won't be taking up much space anyways. So I don't think there'll be any problems. Right Faith?"
"Uhh yeah sure… as long as she doesn't touch any of my shit we're five by five."
I give them my shit eating grin and flop down on my bed. Val rolls her eyes but turns back to them and talks some more but all I can think about is the blonde. I'm staring at her, hoping the rest don't notice. God I wish those eyes were staring at me. She's so perfect, so beautiful, and she's so mine. She's my girl. My babe. I grin, god this is gonna be wicked.
I guess I dozed off, because when I open my eyes the Summers are gone along with Buffy. I pray to God that I didn't just wake up from a good dream. I quickly get my ass out of bed and look around. I walk over to the other bed in the room and sigh in relief when I spot a stuffed pig on the bed. Yep that definitely wasn't here before. I grin God my girl's such a cutie. Speaking of which where's my blonde hottie anyways? Not all that concerned I stretch and glance at the clock. Hmm wonder what the freaks are doing now. I leave my bedroom and I head down towards the tv room. Walking down the hall of rooms I see Daisy's room and I can't resist. I lift my booted foot and kick the door open.
"Get the fuck out Faith!"
"I'm just standing in the hall, I'm not in your fucking room," I reply calmly grinning. God it's so easy to piss her off.
Daisy slams the door shut in my face. Whatever wanted to see my girl anyways. I stride into the tv room and look around. I finally spot her but she's not alone, the stupid dickwads are "inspecting" her. Which means poking her and trying to see if she's a real catatonic or if she's faking. But still, no one fucking touches my girl.
"Hey freaks, get the fuck away from her!"
All three of them jump when they hear me shout, but do what they're told. Janice being the bitch she is gives me a cold stare,
"Geez Faith, just seeing if she was like that girl, Ashley."
Yeah there had been one "catatonic" that came here and we managed to trick her into moving. But I gotta give props to that chick, she was one hell of a pretender.
"Yeah and I said to get the fuck away from her."
I look around to make sure none of the nurses are paying any attention.
"She's my girl and if I see any of you touch her, breath on her, I will fucking kill you!"
"Yeah, whatever" Janice says and sits on the couch in front of the tv, Polly looks like she's gonna start crying any second, and Georgina just seems shocked and soon joins Janice on the couch.
I find a chair and pull it up next to Buffy. I gently brush a strand of hair from her face. And I swear to God I see her emerald eyes move. I frown and sup her face in my hands, turning her head so I can see her eyes better. After a minute of silence I let my thumb wander and I lightly trace her bottom lip.
"Hey B, anyone home?"
"Is there a problem Faith?" I jerk away not noticing Val was behind me until she spoke. I cough a little embarrassed.
"Nope, everything here is five by five, just you know making sure she's not another Ashley copy cat."
"If you say so Faith," she says skeptically and starts walking back to the nurses station. She stops half way and turns.
"Faith, you do know her name isn't 'B', right?"
"Huh, yeah I know. It suits her though, don't ya think?"
"Sure, Faith. But go find something else to do, this one I promise is a genuine catatonic," she says walking into the nurses station.
I nod and get up from the chair. Ughh!!! There's nothing to do in this hell hole. My eyes focus on the losers watching the boob tube, God what idiots. I walk over and turn off the tv, ignoring the complaints coming from the freaks and walk off to go stare at a wall or something cause there sure as hell isn't anything better to do.
The rest of the day was uneventful. Same old shit as any other and I found myself getting excited about seeing Buffy tonight. Finally everyone goes off to their rooms to crash and I head to mine. See the good thing about catatonics is that the nurses don't need to do checks on them and cause I've been a good girl lately mine's been spaced out to two hours.
I grin when I see Buffy lying on her bed with her little piggy friend next to her. I close the door and quietly jam it with a chair. Better safe than sorry, right? I grin and run and jump onto her bed, laughing as her body bounces up slightly. Suddenly my grins gone and I'm really serious. I gently open her eyes so I can look into them. God she's so beautiful.
I straddle her body and lean down and kiss her. I deepen the kiss and slide my tongue into her mouth. Groaning I pull back and pull down her pajama pants along with her panties. I slip one of my hands under her top and start to slowly knead her breasts, rubbing her nipple with my thumb. Oh God I'm already so wet. I slide my hand down her stomach while my other hand slips down my own pants. I reach her soft hair and drag my fingers delicately through it. I rub my hand against her pussy. Groaning, I slowly open her folds with my finger and slip a finger into her. I do the same to myself, and start a steady rhythm. Oh God I'm so close, I think she's actually getting wet too. I add a finger to her then myself. Urghh I think I'm gonna cum. I massage my clit desperately wanting a release. I massage hers also and I swear I feel her tighten around my fingers. But I don't think too much about it as a massive orgasm rocks through my body.
I shakily remove my fingers from her and myself. Trying to steady my breathing I pull back slightly. That's when I notice that I'm not the only one breathing hard. I quickly look down at Buffy's face and jerk my body as fast as fucking possible away from her when I see emerald eyes looking back at me through tears.
"Fai..Faith?"
Buffy's POV:
"What did the demon that attacked you look like Buffy?"
I looked at him feeling a wave of dizziness, "umm demonic?" I say not really focusing just trying to find my bearings.
"Buffy."
He gives me that disapproving look that he seems to have mastered.
"Sorry," I mumble.
God I feel so dizzy. I wonder if that ugly demon did this to me… oh opps Giles is saying something. I try to focus but I can't and it's really starting to scare me. I think Giles' notices because now he has his concerned face on. A wave of nausea hits me and I close my eyes trying to push down the sick feeling. When I open my eyes again everything's blurry and way too bright. Ughh and my eyes are begging me to close them.
"Uh Giles I don't feel so good," I say quickly before I give in and close my eyes, faintly feeling Giles catch me as I fall into unconscious.
Ugghhh I feel like shit. Hmm… I feel funny…my toes are all tingly, same with my fingers. Actually I feel pretty numb everywhere. What? What's on me? I feel this weight on me and it actually doesn't feel so bad... But what would be on me?! The weight shifts slightly freaking me out even more so I open my eyes, blinking a couple times trying to get used to the dark. I peer up and see a blurry outline of someone hovering over me. All I can tell is the person has long dark hair. I try to focus with all my will and I realize whoever it is, is out of breath. I take a steady breath to calm my nerves and realize I'm also a bit winded…weird. Blinking one last time, I squint seeing the person's face a little clearer, it's a girl. Huh, she has her eyes closed. She looks so familiar. I shake my head slightly to try to clear my vision. Oh my God is that? Is that Faith?! Her eyes fly open as if she's realizing I was underneath her. Seeing my eyes she jerks her body off of me as if she were just burnt. The slight shake of the bed hits me with another wave of nausea… I think I really need help.
"F-Faith?" I ask with a hoarse voice.
A silence falls over us as we stare at each intensely, each trying to figure out what the others next move is going to be. Ughh! A massive headache hits me and I groan clutching my head. I close my eyes tightly in frustration. I feel so messed up! My whole body feels numb except for my throbbing head. Why does my life always have to suck?! Why can't I just get a break?!
I jump when I feel a hand on my shoulder. Opening my eyes I notice that they're filled with tears. Looking up I meet Faith's eyes staring down at me questioningly.
Faith's POV:
"F-Faith," B whispers hoarsely.
How the hell does she know my name?
I watch the blonde quietly, it feels like we're in a fucking staring contest. She breaks eye contact and grabs her head. Huh, she looks like she's in pain. Her eyes slip shut and tears start to seep out. Aw shit, my baby's hurting. Coming to a decision I walk over to her to put my hand on her shoulder hopefully in a comforting way. What? I'm not a touchy feely kinda person. But I think my girl needs it. So I place my hand softly on her shoulder and she jerks away from it. Ok … that hurt a little. Her eyes open and she looks wicked confused now. Hey, but at least she's stopped crying! I look her over and realize her pj pants are still down. Opps, I smile at the memory. She doesn't seem to notice though. Shit they must've put her on some drugs… Growing more serious I climb onto the bed with her slowly.
"Shh baby it's ok. I'm not going to hurt you. K?"
She seems to calm down a little, cool I'm better at this then I thought. Kneeling next to her I softly wipe away the tears still on her cheeks. Seeing her close her eyes I caress her cheek gently, while my other hand tugs her bottoms back up. Relieved she didn't notice, I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. I pull away quietly, slowly getting off her bed.
"F-Faith," it comes out as a whisper and I'm even surprised I heard it.
Hmm… gotta remember to ask her how she knows my name. I turn back around to face her and I can tell she's pretty scared. Getting back onto the bed I lie down and gently pull her close to my body. I kiss her on the forehead and whisper back, "shh, you're ok. I won't let anything hurt you."
Feeling sleepy I close my eyes and pull her a little closer letting her head rest on my chest. I sigh contentedly.
"D-don't leave" she whispers with a shaky voice.
"Wasn't planning on it" I whisper back, smiling when I feel her relax. I open my eyes and watch the blonde as her breath evens out and she falls asleep. My last thought is she's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in this fucked up world, before I join her in a deep sleep.
*Faith`s POV*
For the first time in a long time I don't wake up with a start. A smile creeps its way onto my face as I remember who's snuggled in my arms. Pulling her impossibly closer to me I carefully open my eyes, all too familiar with the bright white walls. Blinking a couple times I peer down at the blonde in my arms. She's so incredibly beautiful. Her hair's a mess but I doubt mine's any better. She looks so peaceful with her head resting on my chest. I free one of my hands from our embrace and gently brush away the wild strands of hair across her face. Tracing her bottom lip with my thumb, I bend down and kiss her softly.
"Hey B, baby. Wake up, sleepyhead."
She stirs slightly and mumbles some incoherent words. God she's adorable.
"Come on B, time to wake up."
"Nooo…all warm and cozy… it's sleepy time," she mumbles into my chest.
I chuckle, "never said you needed to get up, babe. Just wanna see your sexy eyes."
She smiles at my words and opens her eyes, only to quickly shut them and try again only slower. With her eyes successfully open she looks up at me and our eyes meet. We lie there, just staring into each others eyes neither of us wanting to break this moment. But me not being a huge fan of silence decide to break it.
"Hey, sleepyhead," I whisper to her.
"Hey," she says almost shyly. And we're back staring silently into each others eyes. God I could get lost in those eyes. Luckily she's the one who breaks eye contact. I watch her carefully as a number of emotions play across her eyes. Finally settling on confusion and fear, she peers back up at me.
"Faith what happened? Where are we?" with a shaky voice she asks.
Wow, I feel so stupid. Jeez she just woke up from… umm I don't really know, but she must be freaked out. But she knows my name… huh that's kinda cool she knows me. I mean it makes sense, right? She and I are meant to be together. Ughh whatever, I'm too sleepy to figure this shit out!
"Can we talk about it later, B? I'm wicked tired. Don't worry your safe," I add quickly wanting to reassure her.
She looks at me for a moment and nods slightly.
"What time is it anyways?" she asks me.
I turn over to check out the clock.
"Umm its 8:00. Oh FUCK!" I shout making her jump.
As if on fucking cue I hear the nurse on checks knocking on the door.
"Oh fuck, fuck, Fuck! FUCK!" I curse as I try to untangle myself from Buffy and the sheet that we somehow got wrapped up in. I can hear more voices outside and I still can't get out of this fucking sheet. Suddenly the door, along with the chair, is flung open. Oh shit, I'm screwed! Valerie comes in first.
"Faith, get off of her!"
"Val you don't understand," she rushes over and pulls me out of the bed. I feel someone grab me from behind and realize two orderlies are trying to drag me away.
"Don't fucking touch me!" I cringe at my words, like they'd ever do anything I told them to.
"Fuckers! You're all sick! SICK!" I start struggling when I feel the other orderly grab me. No I don't want to leave Buffy! Shit no!
"Let go of me!" I scream. One of the orderlies grabs my arms and I try to kick him but the other one manages to grab my legs.
"Where's that shot?!" Val shouts and I realize that a nurse is with us too.
Wait, the shot? FUCK, not a shot! The nurse nervously hands the needle to Val.
"Val no! I'm sorry. No! NO!" I scream pleading. I try to pull my arms and legs free but the two orderlies won't let go.
"No!"
I feel Val jab the needle into my arm. My vision blurs and my limbs stop fighting.
"No," I barely get out as my sight fixes on B. God she looks so scared. As I slowly lose consciousness I pray my baby's going to be ok…
*Buffy's POV*
The men slowly drag Faith away and I still can't move. Why couldn't I move to help her? It's like I froze… I never freeze up.
"We've got to cut those nails," I hear the woman that's called Val say. She turns back towards me and I manage to scramble backwards on the bed. She takes a couple steps toward me and kneels.
"Hey you're ok. No one's gonna hurt you here," she says softly. And for a moment I feel myself believing her, but I catch myself. I've got to stay on my toes. I look around the room, where am I anyways?
"Do you know your name?" she asks, again in that trusting voice.
"Buffy…Buffy Summers," I say with a hoarse voice.
She gives me a small smile. "That's good. Do you know where you are?"
"No," I quickly respond.
"Ok, well Buffy what I tell you might be hard to believe," she pauses and a thoughtful look spreads across her face as if she were reconsidering.
"Try me," I say wanting her to tell me what the hell is going on.
She sighs, "well Buffy you're a patient in Claymoore, an institute designed to help people with their mental disabilities or handicaps."
I gulp, "you mean a mental institute?"
"Yes. Buffy for the past four years you've been living a life in your head. To the outside world your body was a lifeless shell. Your condition is called catatonic schizophrenia. The only reason we knew you still had brain activity was because your mother had tests done, back in California. Because of the tests they could only hope that one day you would wake up."
This is too much. Someone must have done something. A spell! That's it! Wait the demon…he must've infected me or something.
"Where's Giles?!" I ask, hearing the panic in my voice.
"Buffy, Giles doesn't exist."
What? I need Giles. I… can't do this alone. Faith, she's here! I need to find her to figure out what's going on.
"Where's Faith?" I ask trying to control my shaky voice.
She looks at me questioningly, "You mean the girl that was here? She'll be moved to another room. You don't have to worry about her."
I nod. I'll find Faith later. She's here, at least I'm not alone.
*Buffy's POV*
The day went by slowly. They ran tests, asked questions, and kept notes on everything I did. I couldn't help but grin when they were amazed that not only was my brain running in tiptop shape but my body was incredibly mobile for being still for four years. Of course my body does feel a little sore and weak but my slayer healing must be doing something right. They talked to me about eventually seeing my parents, but not too soon in case it would stunt my progress. My parents? Huh, I wonder if they could still be together?
Finally we finish with the test and I meet up with Val for a tour of the place.
"Stay close to me, it's easy to get lost," she says and I nod. I follow her into the first room.
"This is the art room" I look around.
*guitar string pulled noise*
I jump and look at a girl sitting by where the musical instruments are locked up.
"What are you doing here, Polly?" Val asks the girl.
She turns around, "I'm feeling very musical today."
"Polly," Val says as if they've had this conversation before.
She gets up off the floor and I notice her face. The skin looks disfigured.
Suddenly, I'm all too aware of where I am. A mental institute. Locked up with the loonies.
Polly nods and attempts to hide her face as she leaves the room.
"That's Polly," Val says looking around the room one last time then leaving. I follow her back out into the hallway.
"Margy, Polly was in the Art room alone again," she says to a passing nurse.
"Sorry Val, it won't happen again."
"Ok," Val replies smiling.
"Here's the living room," she says as we pass by a fancy room that looks like it was decorated for a bunch of Giles clones.
"Everyone hates it," she says trying to lighten the mood. We continue down the hall and a door closes slowly with a girl with short dark brown hair glaring at me.
"These are the phones. When you want to make a call talk to the nurses at the nurse station and they re-direct you. And this is the tv room."
I look around the room. There's a lot of girls that look to be around my age in here, most watching tv. Some slightly zoned out, and some severely zoned out.
"I want my fucking clothes," one of the girls shout at Val. The girl is obviously unnaturally skinny and is probably there for some eating disorder.
"Then you'll have to eat something, won't you?" Val responds in a light manner. She shakes her head and turns her attention back to me.
"If you want to go off the grounds, you need to sign yourself out and write your destination," she says directing at a white board.
"Well that's the tour, if you need me I'll be in the nurse station," she smiles and walks into the nurse station, leaving me alone with the mentally unstable people. They don't even seem to notice me as they all watch the tv. I find a chair and sit, watching the black and white scene on the tv. I think it's on some news channel.
"Meds," a nurse with an Irish accent calls. Everyone around me starts to make their way over to the nurse as she starts to call out names. I get up also and follow the rest of the girls.
"Buffy Summers," the nurse calls and I make my way to her. When I reach her I find out that she's holding a tray with cups of pills on it. She picks up one and hands it to me.
"What are they?" I ask looking at the pills.
"They'll help you sleep."
"Oh, I don't need-"
"We'll have to agree to disagree" she interrupts me, adding, "you can talk to you doctor in the morning."
"Jesus Christ, just take them," the girl I saw in the hall urges me. I raise the cup to my lips and down the pills hating the feeling of them slide down my dry throat.
I decide to head back to my room. I think Val said something about a new roommate earlier… I start down the white colored hallway, feeling the affects of the drugs almost immediately. The voices of the girls still waiting for their medications fading into silence. Finally the drugs are too much and I stop to steady myself on a door frame of someone's room. My eyes dart to the room across the hall and I can see Faith. She's sitting on the floor with her head lulled forward, her beautiful brown locks now a tangled mess in her face. I see a nurse come into view as she raises Faith's head to check her eyes, letting her head drop when she's done. My eyes start to close against my will. I struggle to keep them open, wanting to make sure Faith will be ok…
I slowly wake up. My whole body feels exhausted. Seeing the bright white wall my bed is facing, I groan as I realize that I really am in a mental institute. Memories of yesterday make themselves present and I remember the state Faith was in the last time I saw her. I hope she's all right. I mean they wouldn't hurt her, would they? Growing a little worried I sit up and am startled to find I'm not the only one in my room.
Hearing my movement the other girl looks up from the book she's reading. She has short blonde hair and her face is sprinkled with freckles. She smiles shyly and says "Hi" before putting a bookmark on the page and closing it.
"M-My name's Georgina. Val asked me to share a room with you, because Faith needs her own."
Hearing Faith's name I feel the worry start to gnaw at me again."Faith's ok, isn't she?"
Georgina frowned slightly, "Yeah… W-why wouldn't she be?"
"Never mind" I say feeling embarrassed and look around the room "this is all kind of new to me."
"It's ok" she replied smiling softly and opened her book again.
"What book are you reading?" I ask wanting to fill the silence.
"The Wizard of Oz," she answered closing it slightly.
"Oh neat, I've seen the movie."
"Well actually, the movie isn't about this book. It's based on the first book, I have that too," she says raising another book from her nightstand to show me. Before she can continue talking about it, there's a loud commotion out in the hall.
Feeling a bit relieved I get off my bed and head to the door and peak my head out, only to be almost run over by a male orderly, who stops just in time.
"Sorry," he says almost shyly as we make eye contact.
He looks around my age and definitely has the adorable boyish look going for him. I smile at him and move out of his way. Smiling back he starts running down the hall to where all of the commotion is taking place. I follow him with my eyes and see a medium sized built woman struggling against three orderlies, soon to be four as he slows down to help. The woman's obviously out of her mind as she keeps ranting about barbie dolls and how "the dresses don't fit right".
I sight, "God I hope everyday doesn't begin like this."
A nurse comes over to the orderlies and when they finally get the woman under control she injects a needle of god knows what into her arm. I finally take notice of the patients surrounding this episode. And I see her! I see Faith, she's slouched over in a chair smirking at something Val is telling her. It's weird to see her looking perfectly normal after what I saw yesterday. Val gives up whatever she was saying and follows the orderlies as they half drag and half carry the drugged woman into a secluded room. I make my way over to her and she sees me, a huge smile lights up her face emphasizing her dimples. I really wish she'd do that more often, it looks beautiful on her. I shake my head at the thought and decide not to look too much into it. She quickly gets up from her chair and hugs me. Surprised by the gesture I hug her back. She pulls back slowly, "Morning B, how'd you sleep?"
What the hell? How'd I sleep?! She takes a seat and I glare at her.
"Faith what the hell happened? How'd we get here?"
Looking down at the floor, she runs a hand through her raven locks and sighs.
"Um I thought Val filled you in."
"Yeah we're in a mental institute. But how-"
"Do you trust me?" she asks suddenly.
I'm a little thrown off by the question. Do I trust Faith? The wild, unpredictable, unadulterated, dark slayer? I'd like to think that in the last week in Sunnydale we've become close. She's shown me slaying isn't just a responsibility but it's a privilege. But do I trust her? I look into her eyes, surprised to see how nervous she looks about the answer.
"Yes I do," I say without breaking eye contact. I watch relief wash over her features and a small smile appear.
"What's the last thing you remember?" She asks still keeping eye contact.
"Um" I look down at my hands trying to remember. My mind's a mess, and I still feel kind of out of it, the drugs must still be in my system. "Oh! There was this demon that- that must have infected me. Then I went back to Giles and I must have passed out because when I woke up I was here and well, you were there."
I look back up and watch her quietly as her features are covered with concentration. "You really don't remember", she whispers in a sad tone.
"What I just told you-?"
"Buffy" she interrupts and takes my hand in hers, and I relish in the warmth and calm it exudes on me. "If you really trust me, you HAVE to believe what I'm about to say." I nod, my stomach already feeling unease. "Everything Val said was true," I take a sharp breath and bite my lip trying to understand what she's saying "well for the most part it is."
She gently gives my hand a squeeze before continuing, "About two years ago you were admitted here by your parents. Something about you fighting and them not being able to control you anymore. You came and you and I hit it off. We got really close and not to make you feel uncomfortable, you were my girl." My eyes get wide, I was what?! "We were together, as in the hot sweat skin on skin together," this is too weird, it can't be true. I mean I'm not gay and well Faith's pretty, ok she's REALLY pretty and sexy but I couldn't… and this whole thing can't even be real, it just can't.
"Everything was great" she continues, "well as great as it really can be in here. But one afternoon you got a phone call, and for some reason it hit you hard. You started to block people out and you even began blocking me out. Eventually you didn't respond to anything. I still don't know what that phone call was about…" this is too much. I-I feel like I can't breathe. It can't be true. I look up and Faith is watching me with a sad but resolved expression.
"I'm sorry B. You have no idea how sorry I am. But I'm not going to lie to you."
She squeezes my hand and I pull it out of her grasp quickly. No it CAN'T be true. I get up on shaky legs and start to walk away from her. I stumble and she's there in an instant, catching me by the waist. I push her away.
"Don't," I say softly, I feel so weak. I slowly walk down the bleached white hall back to my room. Closing the white door behind me I'm relieved to see that Georgina has left. I let out a shaky breathe and make my way over to my bed and slowly lie down and curl up into a ball. The tears begin to fall and the confusion and stress from the past days is finally catching up to me. I don't know what to believe anymore…
...to be continued...