Even Angels Fall
by tainted_blood_chylde
Rating: PG
Faith walked downstairs. Buffy and Willow were sitting quietly on the couch discussing something that stopped as soon as she entered the room. She smiled and ventured on into the kitchen to help the potentials study the manuscripts.
"But it's getting beyond that" Buffy whispered.
"Well have you talked to her about it?" Willow said quietly. "Maybe she just doesn't realise how this is affecting you.." Willow offered.
"I can't talk to her, it would make things really awkward, I mean.. What if this is all just in my head?" Buffy whispered again. Faith stopped straining her ears to listen and smiled. Boy did she have her knickers in a twist.
"What's going on?" Faith said quietly as she walked past Rona.
"Just slaving through this text. It's harder than I thought it would be" Rona answered.
"Yeah these texts need to be cross-referenced several times and the only one of us who can read the raw data can't even speak English. Only write it down" Nikki said as she looked over at Yuisti who was copying sections of the revelent parts for Giles. Faith studied the younger girl. Nikki was the oldest out of all the potentials they had encountered so far. Faith's guesses were she was the only one of them left at 17. She nodded and picked up a book.
"Hey guys I think I got it!" Vi smiled. "This passage says something about a magick weapon or something. I think the First is looking for it." She smiled. Faith looked over at the girl, alarmed. The Cythe.
"Let me see that" Giles said. The young girl eagerly walked towards the watcher with the page of hand written translation she had spent the last two hours working on. Faith sneakily skidded the chair over a little and the girl fell head first into Giles, dropping the paper onto the floor as his coffee cup smashed and spilled its contents over it.
Faith smiled in triumph. The ink blurred into an unreadable mess. "Oh No!" Vi said shaking the water off. "I'm so sorry, I don't know why I'd been so clumsy. Let me.." she said as she help Giles.
"No it's quite alright" Giles said softly "I trust you shall try again, only this time with a ball point" Giles continued as he handed her one from his shirt pocket.
"Yes sir" the disheartened girl said as she returned to her seat.
Faith would have to watch that one.
Faith's Journal
Fine so I destroyed the kid's homework. Big deal. It's not like this is all personal, it's a job remember? Everyone gets hurt in the crossfire. Doesn't mean I'm a bad person for letting loose a few bullets. Really.
I mean, I got obligations, a my side of the bargain to hold up. You honestly think I enjoy doing this to Buffy? Lying to all my friends? Huh? Well I don't. But it's something I got to do. This is a war and I'd already been thrown on my side long before it started. So don't look at me like I'm the Big Evil.
I'm just doing what I have to.
The First's Thoughts
You wouldn't believe how unbelieveably easy it is to corrupt a mortal. I mean, leave them alone for a few years with no one but their own thoughts and torment for company, then presto. They're just ripe for recruiting. Now obviously I'd been a little quick on the mark with Angel, and Spike just turned out to be a disaster. Buffy had had too much time to interfere.
Faith was just right. Just not entirely firm enough but she's had the right amount of time for seasoning.
My only problem now..Caleb. Still acting all pissy because I decided to recruit a woman when he wants to be enough. But that kind of manifestation isn't tangible enough. It's chaotic. That blasted witch is strong enough to reverse it. Still. He couldn't resist the temptation of fathering the world's first superchild. Sure Connor came close. But he wasn't pure enough. No this superchild needs to be from humans, the most fitting method for their demise.
"And then came the race of men, and they spread like a boils upon the face of the earth." Their methods of survival will be their method for destruction. Only I will be their saviour sent to walk among them this time. I will be their armagedon.
Faith thinks she can bid her time. Maybe find a way around this. But it's useless. She's mine now. That night she spent with Caleb in the prison church will haunt her even in death. For with the life she carries in her, I will come forth and feed.
I'm right below their noses. Faith can feel me growing everyday.
From beneath, I devour...
Faith climbed silently into bed beside Buffy, she winced slightly, clamping her hand on her side.
"Are you okay?" Buffy asked casually.
Faith smiled and made some passing comment about one of the potentials bending her backwards the wrong way. Relieved to see Buffy quickly turning away Faith frowned to herself. She hated this, hated the lying and the deceit. She felt dirty, like she'd thought her father was the way he cheated on her mother. It made her feel sick.
She'd rather have killed them point blank with a blade than keep doing this to them. There was a purity in murder, you took it at face value for what it was. A cold brutal act of hate and mallice. This was just low.
She still felt unnerved about the First visiting her in the bathroom during her shower. Her body was still slightly damp, came to her in the form of her first dead stepfather. Talking to her they way he used to when he'd molest her.
She rolled over and switched off the light. But instead of pulling back and turning on her side, she wrapped her arms around Buffy. She felt the older slayer whole body stiffen. She smiled. Laying in bed beside Buffy made her feel safe.
Buffy was a winner. She always came out on top. It gave Faith a little hope that maybe, even though she could still feel the baby in her womb kicking about. That she had a chance of beating the First.
Buffy tried to pull away, but Faith just tightened her grip. When Buffy finally realised Faith had fallen asleep, she stopped fighting and bit her lip before falling asleep in her arms.
Buffy woke up later than usual that morning. Faith it seemed had already gotten up early to take the girls out to the mausaleum for the latest lesson. She shifted through the closet for something to wear. Her hand brushed over one of Faith's bras. Fighting the urge she gave in and had a look at the size, 34C. Not bad.
Buffy quickly put it back and pulled out a red sweater from the top shelf and pulled it on with her favourite pair of black jeans. Deciding against it, she chose a comfy pair of trainers over her usual high heels. Brushing her hair, she gave one last look in the mirror. She groaned to herself and reached for her make up bag. Why did she suddenly feel so self conscious now?
She walked downstairs sometime later to feed Spike his breakfast. She'd forgotten to feed him last night, she couldn't face going down to see him after she'd used him like that.
"Hey" Willow said as Buffy walked into the kitchen.
"Hey" she smiled back.
"You talked to her yet?" She asked keenly.
"No, not yet" Buffy replied as she reached for the sharpest knife.
"What are you doing?" Willow said as she watched Buffy drive the blade into her arm.
"Spike needs fresh blood" she said as she spilled the liquid into the mug and bandaged up her arm.
"Yeah, but that's just crazy.." Willow protested.
"It's done now" Buffy said dismissively and walked downstairs to feed Spike. Hopefully this would keep him from mentioning their little encounter the previous day.
Faith's Journal
Fine, so I take you think you're very clever. Go ahead. Give yourself a pat on the back. You worked out my movitation.
I'M PREGNANT!!
You happy?
And NO! I can't tell Buffy.
Remember that little stunt at the prison? That was a WARNING.
Caleb is somehow connected to me. He can visit me in my sleep similar to the way the First can visit me in the real world. No matter where I am. I can feel him.
I didn't choose this. I didn't mean to be this stupid.
It's not like any of them cared to keep me in the loop over the last three years. I thought he was a genuine nice guy. One thing led to another. I told him about me being haunted, then I started opening up about all the stuff about Demons, and eventually the First.
It didn't freak him out in the slightest. I then let it slip about being the slayer.
He accepted it. No questions asked.
I was so relieved that I finally had somebody I could talk to. Then there was that night in the church.
I didn't know what he was until after. I swear I wouldn't have otherwise.
Now I'm carrying his child.
SO GO AHEAD! Judge me all you want!
But I can't tell Buffy.
He'll kill all the potentials in one quick attack if I do.
Just don't you dare forgive me...
Dawn's Journal
I know this is kinda stupid writing in diaries and all. I mean, I've done it since I was very little, but I mean after a certain point.. it just seemed worthless.
Something is up between Buffy and Faith. There always was. I mean at least there was from what my fake memories can tell me there was.
It's so obvious, and no one seems to be doing or saying anything about it. Even if they won't admit it.
They love each other. Or at least they want to get very very alone, and very very naked.
Either way. I'm fed up of hearing the p-pods chatting about it. Can't they just DO something?
Giles' Memoirs
In all my years as watcher. I never imagined that I would be subject to this era. The final stages of the end of the world. But even that seems less important than what seems to be happening with the slayer legacy.
I should have known when Kendra first arrived. There was a certain physical chemistry between those girls that led me to think that this might happen. Thankfully, they were separated.
Then Faith arrived.
I cant say I'm pleased at her return.
The nature of their relationship was volatile at best. Still, I can't entirely be sure but the passion seems to have grown stronger.
Now with the arrival of the first Gay Potential on record. This Kennedy girl. I fear that even if we are successful in our efforts against the First.
The age and time for needing men had quite passed.
"I don't think they are" Vi said quietly.
"Oh come on, you've seen how they sleep together at night.." Rona whispered back.
"Still that doesn't mean anything" Amanda said as she turned in the bus to see the others.
"Well let's ask an expert" Milly said as she looked at Kennedy.
"Well... from the way Buffy and Willow have been talking.. I think there might be" Kennedy said. "I mean, did you hear them at dinner yesterday?"
"Hey, you done discussing my private life?" Faith said as she opened the door of the bus and marched the girls into the sewer.
"Told you we shouldn't have been talking about it" Vi said.
"Oh keep quiet" Rona moaned as she grabbed the axe and followed the que of girls into the entrance.
"All of you shut up" Dawn said as she walked past them, and with that. Not another word was said about it.
Buffy walked around the basement for an hour or two before Spike finally decided to break the silence. "What's wrong?" he said softly.
"Just stuff" Buffy said distantly.
"Hmmm yeah, it's a tricky thing that stuff. So anyway.." He said as he straightened himself in the chains and moved to a better position to talk to her. "What exactly is happening in the world above the stairs then?" he chided her.
"We found an ancient book, tells us something about a magick weapon thingy that has some importance to these Ubervamp things" Buffy said as she sat opposite him. "We're still trying to translate most of it" Buffy said as she sat down.
"I might be able to help.." Spike said as he looked at her. Buffy shifted uncomfortably, ever since his little encounter with Faith he'd been locked away down here. She figured it was some part left over from being under the First's influence. Anyhow, Faith had insisted they keep him out of the way and Spike, guilt ridden, had agreed.
"I'm sure you might, I'll get Giles to bring the book down later" she said before turning around.
"It's her isnt it?" Spike said. Buffy froze in her tracks and turned to him slightly.
"It's her that what?" she asked innocently.
"Faith, she's the reason you've been so hungry for me isn't she?" Spike said quietly.
"I don't.. you're not thinking straight.. you need more air" she said dismissively before making for the stairs.
"I don't need air, vampire remember?" Spike said sternly. She turned to him. "You're attracted to her aren't you?" he asked cautiously.
"I'm having certain feelings for her.. yes" Buffy admitted and Spike nodded before she continued up the stairs and he frowned deeply to himself.
Faith hurried the potentials out of the sewer. The demons were closing in on them fast, swinging her axe she managed to cut the pipe that held most of the roof up, that should hold them for a few moments. But it was only a few moments.
Wood shouted at the girls to get back to the bus while Xander started up the engine. It was almost sun down. Not exactly the time she wanted to be herding the world's defenseless furture heros and protectors around at. She ordered Kennedy into the front beside her. Almost home. She sighed.
That had been too close for comfort.
"So much for zero demon occupancy" Faith murmured to Xander.
"We told you, Wills couldn't be entirely sure. The First is screwing up all magick pathways" he said as he focused on the road. She sighed again.
Opening the rear door of the bus she led the troops into the house.
Patrol time.
Walking silently into the house she grabbed the first weapon she found on the table and walked wordlessly out of the house in need of some release. And nothing relieved her more than a good bout of violence. Stalking through the neighbourhood she reached her first target. Smirking, she pulled out the blade and started her first set of combos.
Buffy stood by the door and waited for Faith to return, it had been a while. She didn't even need to turn to realise Giles was standing beside her, years spent with the watcher had taught her to recognise his sound. She smiled and he stood by her, drinking his coffee and gazing out the window.
Neither needed words to acknowledge the others pressence.
"She still not back yet?" Giles said.
"No, but I'm not looking for her. She's a Slayer. She'll always come home when the sun comes up and the night is over" Buffy said distantly.
"Then why do you wait by the window?" Giles said softly.
"To make sure the sun comes up properly" Buffy smiled.
"Ah" he said as he sat down on the edge of the window sill. "Any luck?" he mused.
"No, it usually takes about twelve hours" Buffy explained, each smiling at the private joke.
"I overheard the conversation between you and Willow earlier" Giles declared after a moments pause. Buffy stared at him in horror and moved forward to make her excuses. He raised a hand to silence her. "You are a young capable woman Buffy, and your private affairs are none of my concern but I must stress to you the importance of this mission. We cannot fail. Please see to it that you will discuss this matter with Faith and stop any further disruptions" he said before taking his cup back into the kitchen for washing.
The First sat comfortably on the tombstone while Faith fought for dear life. She managed to flip her assailent onto the ground and ran for her stake. He was back on her again. Grunting she kicked him hard in the head before pushing herself towards him and landing the stake deep within his chest.
"Bravo" the First taughted from Buffy's form. Faith turned startled.
"BUFFY" she said in shock. "What are you doing here?" she murmured.
"Just thought I'd pay you a little visit" The First/Buffy said as it smiled and walked over to Faith. "You know, the way the First does with you sometimes?" it snapped. Faith's face erupted in panic, she looked at the sword sitting by the tomb.
"Uh Uh" it smiled. "You'd never make it in time and you know it, God what to do with you Faith?" it said as it grew closer to her. "Betraying me again" it said as it shook Buffy's beloved head and frowned. "I don't know whay I even thought I could trust you again, you really think I can let you live with what you carry inside you?" it said as it backed Faith into a corner.
"Buff, please let me explain!" Faith pleaded.
"Explain what that you lied to me?" Buffy said. "You slept with the enemy Faith! You're dirty and unclean. Not only that I actually wanted to fuck now the thought just turns my stomach. You make me sick Faith!" it spat from Buffy's sweet voice. Faith lowered her head and tried to shut out the sound.
"You make me sick!" it said as it turned into her mother. "All those hands touching you.. all the filth! You're not my Faith.. you're FILTH! I should have called you FILTH!" it said as it turned back to Buffy. "You think I'd ever want anything to do with you?" it mocked her.
"You're nothing but a no good little tramp so you better just keep doing as you're told and run on home before I need to get the boys to teach you a little lesson. Before I need to make Caleb revisit you" the First/Faith's brother said before Faith looked back at it, tears spilling down her face.
Buffy turned over in her bed. Faith STILL wasn't out of the bathroom yet. She shifted uncomfortably.
*flush*
Silently Faith crept back into the bedroom and crawled under the covers with the blonde slayer. She smiled and turned off the light. Buffy looked at her in surprise, Faith hadn't removed her t-shirt tonight. Instead she wore a pair of boxer shorts and a baggie t- shirt. Buffy gave Faith a questioning look.
"What?" Faith said innocently.
"Nothing.. it's just you usually don't wear.." she muttered.
"Clothes?" Faith said mockingly. Buffy blushed.
"Yeah. Is everything alright?" Buffy asked quietly.
"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" Faith said before rolling over and going to sleep. Buffy lay still in the dark for a few moments. Stifling a sob, she didn't understand why but something in Faith's back-off attitude had felt like she was being rejected. She knew it was stupid, but it felt like Faith not wanting to be naked in bed beside her was like being slapped across the face.
Forcing herself out of bed, Buffy wiped away the tears. She'd rather be struck across the Faith than stay in the same bed as Faith when she was being this distant and cold.
Buffy walked quietly into the basement where Spike was laying on the floor. She grabbed the blanket from the bed they'd given him and a pillow as well before walking over to where he lay and settling herself beside him. He stirred slightly and looked at her in question.
"Faith's taken over my bed for the night" she murmured softly and he nodded in wonder. She nearly felt sick, he thought this was because he meant something to her. She almost felt guilty at treating him this way, how wrong he was. He shifted over and put his arms around her, holding her close. She snuggled against him, but she didn't sleep any better. This body was literally cold comfort for the longing to feel Faith's warm skin against her own.
Closing her eyes, she stifled another sob.
Faith turned over and traced a hand over the fading warmth of where Buffy had lain only moments before. She frowned and pulled it back to her side, she hadn't wanted to hurt Buffy. For some reason this whole thing had been made worse by lying to her in particular. Faith stood up and went to the front of the window. She placed a hand on her stomach.
Easing up her top Faith rubbed her hand over her stomach. It was growing larger by the day. Soon it would start to show even more. She bit her lower lip and frowned. She couldn't keep this up for much longer.
"Second thoughts?" The First/her brother said as it appeared in the mirror beside her.
"Of course not!" Faith snapped.
"You know you can't get rid of it" The First/her brother said as it sat on the end of the bed.
"So you claim" Faith spat angrily.
"I've explained this to you, it's all linked. You try to kill the child, or yourself, and it jumps. It simply finds another body to have it take over, and we all know you're too much of a ... hero, to curse someone else with your mistake" it said gleefully. Faith looked away, her eyes caught sight of a picture of Buffy, Xander and Willow.
"They won't help you, I told you. Caleb knows your every move, he almost killed your beloved Buffy. They are useless. I'll have them all destroyed if you do.. and what will happen to you will make that night in the prison church with Caleb seem as small as what dirty Frank used to do to you when Mom passed out on Saturdays after the game" it snapped.
Faith moved away from the spector in front of her. Her mind racing through a thousand images of countless rapes she'd experienced through her young life, and finally to that night with Caleb. It had been the most brutal thing she'd ever been subjected to. Faith had never been scared as much. Being the slayer meant that she thought she was above all those men and the torment. Above the memories of her childhood. But that night with Caleb, when she'd realised what he was and tried to escape him. It had terrified her more than anything else.
Even as a slayer she'd been overpowered and subjected to someone else's will, someone else's wants. Just like those men who'd had their way with her when she was a child. As much as she felt like a coward, as much as she objected and was outraged by her choices. As much as she condemned herself.
She never wanted to go through that again. She couldn't, nothing frightened her more. The thought that she would spend eternity as his play thing, to use and abuse as he felt like it.. made her abandon all sense of reason. She wouldn't go back there.
Even when the First left Faith in the room huddled in the corner alone with her memories she was battling so hard to shut out. She shook with fear and swore she'd never suffer that again..
Not matter what the cost.
Buffy walked back to her room, dodging three of the latest potentials as she went. She muttered something about them being careful and watching where they were going, didn't do much good if they got themselves injured before the big battle that was gonna be coming.
She walked into her room and saw Faith was still asleep. She crept over to the wardrobe and pulled out a shirt and changed quietly. She cast one last look to the bed. Maybe she didn't need to have that talk with Faith about her feelings after all.
Faith waited a few moments until Buffy had left the room and then rolled over again. She didn't feel like getting out of bed today. She was too sick. Still, she couldn't stay in bed much longer. It was her turn to cover drill that morning.
She waited until most of the potentials had finished their morning clean up and took a shower. For some reason, the cool water streaming over her numbed the pains in her stomach. She dressed, stealing one of Buffy's larger baggy tops instead of her own revealing garments.
She walked downstairs and smiled at Giles who gave her a studious look before going back to his studies. It threw her, it was like he knew what was going on. Like he could see it. She shook her head, he couldn't. No one could. She put it down to her own guilty conscience and went outside to the garden.
...continued in part 21...